Hello
I became single a year ago (after 15 year marriage) and am loving my new sex life 
However, most of the guys I am hooking up with try really hard NOT to use condoms and don’t even have any?? Ages from 42 to 53.
I have found this astonishing and frustrating? The ones who are into kink are the worst offenders. They just say they get tested regularly.
Are my dates outliers? Why are they not more concerned about STDs?
Please share your wisdom 
Thanks
Luna 
Im not sure why they dont but if you want to use a condom dont back down. Its your choice.
But doesn’t everyone use condoms if they have multiple partners?
Before I got myself a few regular FWBs, I definitely found guys were getting more and more against using condoms. It was v annoying. Even with my FWBs and my one regular couple, they all know they have to wear them without a doubt.
I honestly don’t know how STIs aren’t a major concern for them, it’s such a worry for me.
I have a box full of latex free condoms so if they ever tried to use that as an excuse, I’d be covered.
But no, anyone ever tried to not use one they’d be out the door!
Hey @Luna
Thats most guys for you unfortunately I feel, though thats not me saying its right to be that way.
If you are not comfortable in going bareback then thats your choice and your partners should respect that. If they really want you and respect you fully enough they will go along with your request to wrap up and protect you both, its too easy for them to say they get tested. How do you know they have not just had sex elsewhere unprotected in between the te they say they have “just been tested”.
For me as a blokes perspective i dont mind them when I have had to use them in the past
Possibly a sensitivity issue with some men?
It is not uncommon and a multitude of reasons for not doing so are stated. But ultimately if you do not insist on them wearing one you are gambling with your health.
Your body, your choice.
So their pleasure is worth more than your safety types then? Yeah, I wouldn’t entertain it. The only thing they’d be pulling that night would be themselves. Safe sex is best sex 
To be honest, dislike of barrier method contraceptives is fairly prevalent amongst a lot (if not all) genders. There are many reasons for it; people thinking it doesn’t feel as good, bad condom sizing, societal attitudes, ease of getting tested, thinking it won’t happen to them (added to by the fact many don’t really talk about this stuff), bad sex ed, etc. Even those who insist they always uses condoms will quite often not use them for oral.
It depends how you are meeting people but if it is online then make it clear on your profile or, in any case, bring up the contraceptive chat earlier in the conversation. Might help save some wasted time.
For me using protection with a new partner has always been a must and always will be, I care too much about my health and that of the person I am with. It is also the reason after all these years I have never had an STI.
What’s the deal? Bunch of a******s risking everyone’s health. Glad your enjoying yourself. Take care
I used to find this on the flip side as a man dating women. Different demographic but I was amazed by the amount of hesitance and reluctance to use condoms.
Really weird.
I think the Porn industry has a huge influence on men that age.
A. They watch too much of it and
B. They think they are the stars of the show
You do you or they should hit the road. The hand is a lonely place for someone who doesn’t want to follow your rules.
For me they can hurt, which itself then acts as a contraceptive. Availability of different sizes has got better in recent years and I now carry some appropriate packs. Putting one on though can still be a passion killing moment and a partner that is skilled at this is always a bonus to keep it a mutual endeavour.
Over the last couple of years though, on swing sites in particular, the irony that people were more concerned with wearing masks and ‘getting vaccinated’ than STI issues didn’t escape me.
An interesting poll for people with non regular partners may still be
Always kept one in my wallet. Never had an issue using one, would rather not, but if it was a one off, or basically we were happy to sleep with others, then wore one every time for my saftey and theirs. Woth a partner the discission is had, but again if they said no rubber no sex, id wear one.
Also agreeing with size issues, i had to buy the larger size ones, durex etc just don’t fit right, felt like they are trying to cut my pee pee in half
Yup this is literally of all ages I think and vastly many guys tend to say they’re on prep which they think is a free pass from catching anything lol
I reckon the rise in bare porn has instigated this trend to which people more than ever could do with some sexual health learning
This is very common and definitely a no from me. If they even try to change my mind then I’d be ending the conversation there.
This is way too common. Guys try and get away with it and it can completely kill the mood too!
When I was young and single I was always a bit worried so always used condoms. I was with one or two girls who didn’t want to use them and said to me they were on the pill but that’s only one side of the equation.
As a male to be fair they are a bit of a pain to get on and a mood killer but always best to be safe than sorry.
A few women and my current wife included were very good, sexy and used to help me / work it into the routine to get the condom on me nice and snug with the needed air bubble at the end.
I think some guys are worried that they need to be super quick and professional to get it on which can add a bit if pressure especially if the lady is not actively doing anything to help.
I know people who picked up a few unwanted things when they were younger so always safe until comfortable and trust someone 