I’ve been thinking about my/our kinks lately and more and more I’m just starting to think they’re not sexy or a turn-on, they’re just odd.
I like wearing lingerie some times, OH likes me wearing lingerie, but more and more often I think I’m trying to look glamourous and sexy and a bit silly and mildly ridiculous in a fun way, but increasingly often I’ll put on a lingerie set, and think I just look a bit….stupid. Even well sized lingerie doesn’t fit truly properly as it’s not meant for a man’s shape, and ends up stretched and distorted with my admittedly flabby bits not helping.
Likewise with our sploshing kink. We used to get really messy, and I mean really messy, like we were almost bathing in whatever goo we’d used. We even went down the route of buying catering size packs of custard (our favourite) that make up in to literally gallons of the stuff.
But like the lingerie thing, I find myself just thinking “This is stupid, you just look weird and even a bit disgusting”
We’ve even tried the admittedly strange-sounding “swimsuit filling” kink which is exactly what it says it is but now I’m describing it I really do think it goes beyond kinky and is just odd…..literally me, wearing a women’s one-piece swimsuit and OH pouring jugs of custard in the neckline so it slowly fills up with the goo swilling around inside. Yeah ok so it felt kinda funny and a bit sensual and we laughed at the time, but surely even a therapist would think “You did what?”
Maybe I/we just need some time out from all the fetishy weirdness. What say you lot?
The kinks that you have described are certainly shared by other couple and individuals on this forum so I wouldn’t describe them as odd. On the other hand maybe odd is just another term for kinky?
Either way I believe that you are over thinking things. If you enjoy these kinks just do them. Don’t over analyse them.
I’m 74 years old, slightly overweight and definitely a little flabby but I choose my lingerie and hosiery carefully and, to be honest, when I get it right I think I look fabulous. My wife feels the same and is bang alongside my kinks.
Kinks are like food, eat it often enough and it becomes plain bland and unappealing. That when you find something else of just take a break.
We are not meant to like just one thing so don’t worry or beat yourself up for it, just understand your tastes have changed and vanilla might be you thing for awhile.
Just communicate with your OH and maybe there’s something new on the horizon once you’ve had a holiday of sorts. @marbles1
Firstly from your comments if reads that you are a little down - and that’s fine and I know you will bounce back soon - so keep the faith and under no circumstances think what you do is stupid
My husband does through up and down phases- just ride it out
Lingerie is so important and yes you will never look as good as the young sexy model on the website- but it makes you feel good - but try and get more involved - have you a good maid outfit, or school girl or sexy secretary- and when you dress up do you go the whole way - knickers stockings suspenders bra and possibly a slip (under a skirt )
keep updating your lingerie - even us woman see the lingerie over time looks rubbish and you need to update it
I’m not into sploshing but enjoy giving golden showers in the garden to my husband - but continue if it’s your thing
I’m into domination and I get turned on when my husband dresses up and I come in and start the role play - reprimanding him, bend over knickers down before spanking and then pegging him - and this is about 4-6 times a week and we alter the outfit / dildo or place we play - but we always have fun and sometimes it’s 4 hours and other times 40 minutes- but always exciting
I also believe you need not to cum .. as a man you loose your interest after cumming and so I do not allow my man to cum - this keeps him wanting more (he however makes me orgasm - but that’s because I can recover almost instantly)
Try different things - are you into spanking or pegging - my husband adores this and keeps him wanting more
Sounds like your running on a dip phase which we all get at times and maybe having a break might be helpful if your partner agrees too but ultimately if you both enjoy it then who cares if it’s odd. Perhaps you just need to explore some new kinky stuff to spark the enjoyment.
I thought discovering people sitting on small figures and shoving them up their bum was weird! Then I realised if it’s something they enjoy then who are we to judge, not doing any harm to anyone but the mini figure
I think quite simply put is its based on the individual, my kinks can be viewed as weird by others and vice-versa. You could argue that “odd” can be based on popularity but
I once had a man - who used to want to sext with me quite often mind you - tell me that I had a “very detail oriented mind” after I told him about my medical kink, and some of the things I might like to try in it. If he’d just said “you’re weird”, it might have come with less of a sting - it felt like I was too complicated for him.
As @batjamboree said, right now you are comparing yourself, don’t. Comparison is the thief of joy so they aay, as is standing in front of the mirror and analysing yourself. Wear what makes you feel good. If you feel good, you’ll look good. Good luck
Never really had any desire to go further than just lingerie. I do have some French Maid lingerie OH bought me but that’s about the limit. When I do wear lingerie, sometimes it’s just bra and knickers, some times it’s the works. I recently got a vampy black basque with matching ruffle-back knickers, heavy fishnets and elbow-length opera gloves for that finishing touch. Only worn it once so far. Maybe I should give it another go to get back in the mood?
Valid point. Thinking about the kink of “swimsuit filling” in particular (as that’s the one I always think is the strangest), it IS really weird and sounds a bit bizarre but then again, it’s quite popular within the sploshing community and is a regular thing on sploshing sites and blogs, so I guess maybe more common than at first thought? I don’t feel so bad now…..
So just to get back in our kinky groove and accept we don’t care how weird it is, we had another go at the aforementioned “swimsuit-filling” kink earlier tonight.
And yes, it IS very weird but also highly sexy/sensuous/silly. We used baked beans this time which will probably have the majority of people running for cover yelling “Ewwwww! Yuk!” but the yukkiness was part of the appeal. And anyway, the actual feel of them on the skin was AMAZING as they have a sort of “weight” and solidity to them so you feel them running everywhere far more than with other goo like custard.
OH was the “victim”, in a plain pastel pink classic swimsuit. Started by adding small ladlefuls at a time to her cleavage, letting the beans trickle between her boobs and the juice to slowly soak through the swimsuit. Kept going until eventually the blob of beans gathered in her chest area overcame the cling of the Lycra and plopped down in to her groin with a shriek of “Oh my god that’s so COLD!”. Added more and more until her swimsuit was just about at its limit, bulging with beans, some spilling down her legs, some overflowing out of the cleavage.
Couldn’t stand it any longer so we got down to it with me flat on my back and her straddling me, pulling her swimsuit to one side to cowgirl the f*ck out of me to some amazing squelching noises and the sensation of a couple of gallons of cold baked beans slowly flooding out of her swimsuit and on to me, ably assisted by OH scooping up handfuls and squishing them on my chest or dribbling them between her fingers in to my face.
So it’s the morning after the night before and there’s a black bin bag with rolled up plastic sheet and a load of empty tins in it, ready to go out, a bucket by the washing machine containing a very stinky, sloppy and stained swimsuit and the feint whiff of baked beans and sex in the kitchen.
Meanwhile, OH is still upstairs half asleep, looking lovely as though none of this ever happened, which is what I love about it
Edited to add: Whilst chatting about what an absolute riot it was last night, OH commented “I think we should do it again tonight and YOU’RE wearing the swimsuit this time”
It’s true that you can have too much of a good thing or, for that matter, a kinky thing. The world of sex is a large spectrum, so maybe you’re feeling that some of doing what you do has lost some of its spark? In essence, the “kink” is feeling more vanilla to you as your sexual spectrum realigns itself.
If that’s the case, you could try either reverting to more vanilla sex activity for a bit, or exploring a new kink, or even abstaining altogether to help freshen up that spark. I find that I can get super excited by, say, chastity play and want to do it forever, and then after a while I’ll not touch that kind of play for weeks. It doesn’t mean I don’t love chastity play, it just means I want to keep it fresh and exciting instead of the same thing all the time. Hope it helps.
