For those that have experianced threesomes would it be a bad idea to acost a colleague or a neighbour?
My wife likes the idea of one but would be funny about the person. They'd have to be kinky but not in the scene if you get the drift.
Things could get awkward if you included someone you knew, as you have to see them after the experience... There are always consequences to these kinda situations, not always bad, but with a friend/neighbour it just adds more issues in my experience..
Threesomes or moresomes are a tough one and it requires a lot of communication between all parties :)
But just be prepared for it not to be everything you hoped
x
I would advise you talk, talk and talk some more before even contemplating approaching someone else. There are all sorts of questions you need to ask one another.
Do you want a male/male/female or female/female/male 3some? Are you both okay with kissing? Will one of you be happy to sit and watch for a while or do you both need to be fully involved from the get go?
You have to be completely open and honest about your feelings and emotions and must also realise that jealousy may rear it's ugly head and if it does, there should be no recriminations from either of you.
Finally, I wouldn't advise bringing in a colleague or neighbour because they then know your private business and if you decide not to repeat the experience, may get snotty about it.
Swinging sites are NOT full of experienced hardened swingers so it might be an idea to join one and just have a look around.
Squarewave wrote:
For those that have experianced threesomes would it be a bad idea to acost a colleague or a neighbour?
My wife likes the idea of one but would be funny about the person. They'd have to be kinky but not in the scene if you get the drift.
I was the third person with a couple of friends a fair while back. My advice? Don't go there!
It all got a little bit messy, although that could just have been because we were all steaming drunk. The main problem was that one half of the couple I was with got really upset that I was apparently spending more time with the other party. (Although, for the record, I'm pretty certain I gave them both equal attention!)
I'm still as friendly as I ever was with one of them, but thing are a little awkward with the other & it's always very, very awkward when I'm with both of them together!
I would suggest no-one you know. Swinging site may help find the person you need
First "likes the idea" makes me think you've not spoken about it enough. She should "want" one not "like the idea". Fantasy versus Reality is a huge mistake I think a lot of people make.
Check out craigslist, fabswingers or similar sites. I would never use someone I knew or on the flip side build a friendship with the third person before or after.
I did that with the first girl we played with she ended being the biggest mistake of my life, she was giving me relationship advice while being a bit of a two faced cow at the same time. Never TRUST or over share with any third wheel.
My advice is if she is the fussy one about who to join you, let her do all the hunting/communicating it is what I do to make it more about me and I'm much comfortable doing that.
I guess I should give more background.
Its something we have spoken about for a number of years on and off.
My view is that it is a pie in the sky fantasy mainly because I wouldn't want to get my hopes up or appear in need of something more than her. Which im not.
I think the main worry for her is that although she doesnt foresee an issue, she is aware that you cant prepare for everything.
We have agreed that if something was looking like it would happen that we would postpone it for a month after deciding "yes"
The suggestions of candidates are hers - I wouldn't risk it myself which makes her sound the jealous type, but we quite often talk about who we find attractive or if we have a soft spot for someone at work.
She also points out bums she thinks I'll like.
Trouble is all her candidates will be friends and I think a site would be a turn off. though it looks like general consensus is not to pick* someone you see often. Perhaps just before a move? (grasping at straws, lol)
*pick because they have no choice ;-)
SW
I would never pick a friend purely as they would then know what you're into, most of mine aren't.
I'd rather the person turned up and never seen again!
Keep talking about it and be very honest.
Look at the sites together, although the elusive single, bi woman is hard to fine (or we've found that)