So I was married to another woman and she basically never made me feel attractive. Over our time together she took away the confidence I had, first and only time I wore lingerie she laughed at me. Not like a laugh with but just laughed and said "what is that supposed to be".
I'm plus size and intead of just saying I was beautiful she'd always say things like "You know I don't care about looks or your weight", mind you she was skinnier and would constantly complain about being fat herself. Which didn't help, her lack of affection to me didn't help either.
Well the boyfriend I have now is very sexual like myself and constalty tells me how sexy I am and oh beautiful I am etc. So I'm trying to work the confidence to wear lingerie again as I know he'd enjoy it, any advice on building it back up?
Maybe look for babydoll pieces first they are the least revealing etc. I am Plus size and was very anxious at first. I started with those and just sexy knickers. Etc. H loved it and now I love trying different things.
I am also plus sized, used to feel a bit daft and silly trying to wear something 'sexy' for OH and totally understand the nerves, but I bet he'll love it!
I found that it helps to wear something you feel confident in, pick something that highlights the bits you love and you feel flatters the areas that make you nervous.
I also found that rather than walking in wearing it I was happier if I sort of got into what I considered was a flattering pose and called him upstairs, allows you to again direct attention where you want it by lying in a certain way.
The other option is to take a photo as a tease and send it to him, you can control what the picture looks like and get his reaction, hopefully will boost confidence for wearing it with him in person!
I find that immersing myself into body positive culture helps a lot. Nothing worse than following people on social media with a different body type to yourself and comparing. I started to follow plus size models on Instagram and noticed a huge change in my attitudes towards my body. If they can look sexy in lingerie so can I and so can anyone!
Enchantress, just look at the plus size models used to model the lingerie here, they will give you an idea of how hot you will look if you don't do social media.
Have you tried browsing the plus-size lingerie together?
Sometimes wearing something your partner picks for you can make a huge difference.
My partner was never into lingerie until I had my first review lingerie (I'd never have just bought something as I also lacked confidence). Now he's totally into it and my confidence has grown in bounds.
I'm plus size too and what helped me with confidence a little was watching amateur porn...people with wobbly bits...not perfect pert boobs or equally perfect pussies ...looking sexy and enjoying sex...and their partners enjoying them too...a bit of sexy lingerie also helps me...hang on in there...let your confidence shine through...your partner has told you that you're sexy and beautiful...believe it...
I'm not plus size but i have a lot of image problems and dysphoria regarding my body and general appearance so hopefully this will be at least a little relevant. If you're not already, i find it helpful to sit around in lingerie stuff sometimes, to try to normalise it a bit in your head. It's also useful sometimes to compromise, like I'm getting more used to short sleeves but often can't show my arms so I'll wear a cardigan too until I'm comfortable in that shirt or dress
WillC-Thank you, actually never browsed the PS stuff on here so I need to start.
VR-Thats a really good idea and something we will have to do, we currently browse toys together along with solo(surprises are good) so we should do that. Thanks!
Jilly-Thank you you are so sweet and stunning too! I'm working on it, his attention and affection helps a lot my ex hardly even kissed me where as he is always kissing or touching me.
Ace-Of course it's helpful! A body image struggle is a struggle whether its plus related or not. I used to just relax in a lace baby doll or nothing at all but my ex just kept riding me till I was uncomfotable doing so. So Work in prgress getting back to that. Which you are beautiful by the way.
Thank you all so much! I'm so glad I joined the forum it's such a awesome place.
You're welcome Enchantress, a simple suggestion but it works! I like curvaceous ladies, so browsing the plus size stuff gives a good idea how a curvaceous figure will look wearing such items. It's a fact that i have purchased products based on how they look on the curvy model rather than the 'normal' one.
Hey Enchantress...I'm in a bad place about myself too...can't talk about it though...not brave enough...everyone on here is amazing...it's all about confidence and if you're getting all positives from your partner you'll get there...believe...the look on your partners face and reaction speaks volumes...🤗
Jilly, you have our support, you ought not be in a bad place. Your gallery was stunning and you have a fab personality that shines through here. Take care my friend, be positive!
I'm so body conscious I hate to take my top off during sex or anything, I'm really trying to get more confident my husband tells me regularly he finds me sexy but I hate what I see. Earlier in the year when I decided I wanted to try new things in the bedroom and stop pushing my husband away I bought a Basque set from LH with suspenders (my husbands favourite part) that was a turning point for us it made me feel beautiful, sexy and desirable, I have not felt confidence like it. I still have a long way to go but I'm glad I took that 1st step.
Aw Jilly, *hugs* never feel alone, you don't have to talk about anything just know you have support. From just the short bit I've been on here I think you are awesome! Good personality and you look damn good too.
Jady11-Thats really good! I'm happy for you. My first step was sending him a pic in linergie.
Aw Jilly, *hugs* never feel alone, you don't have to talk about anything just know you have support. From just the short bit I've been on here I think you are awesome! Good personality and you look damn good too.
Jady11-Thats really good! I'm happy for you. My first step was sending him a pic in linergie.
I wished I'd of thought of the picture to be honest lol i put the set in a gift box on our bed, although I struggle to take a good picture of me especially boudoir ones. I am working on that aswell. I'm loving the forums definitely finding reading them and posting helps x