Would others agree with my conclusion?

Kind of similar to what I was taking about before but would others agree or roughly agree with what I have come to a conclusion of here?

I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to get better understanding.

OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudish and all sorts and I have been given various answers.

So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.

Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:

“Yes mainly men are visually simulated and ofcourse are visually simulated sexually by women they are sexually attracted too”

“You are misogynistic about your attitude towards women”

“Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction”

“Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first”

“As a women I am sexually attracted to alot of men visually and do not need an emotional attachment first and can enjoy sex without an emotional attachment, I would be happy to do this from time to time and would be fine if my husband had the same freedoms as me, so long as we were totally open, honest and had boundaries and could do most things together”

“You are just seeing women as objects to fulfil a sexual desire”

“As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man”

I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.

So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the wore a blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say “ohh you can control it and not look” I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemned for thinking this way and basically want to come across as “ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man” and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.

Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?

What do you want? Just people to agree with you? You seem to have got a range of opinions elsewhere and on another thread on the matter and yet you’re just seeking out people to validate your own view. Just because you preface it with “trying to get a better understanding” doesn’t mean you actually are. Similarly, anyone who disagrees you seem to think they’re lying and just can’t or won’t admit it. It also made me laugh that the only view you agreed with was one about how women feel towards men - because obviously, as a man, you know exactly how the majority of heterosexual women feel. You come across as feeling extremely entitled to view womens bodies for your own sexual pleasure, I suggest checking yourself and challenge your own views before seeking validation.


:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Absolutely :100: :100: :100: :100: what @SexInTheCity said


Absolute rubbish sexinthecity…All of what you wrote. OK fair enough some will not agree with my opinion that most men are visually simulated sexually by women biologically, I do not think they are lying if they do not agree with that, rubbish.
Ohh it made you laugh haha when you read that I agreed with a post by a woman who said how shes feels about men that she needs to have an emotional attachment for sexual attraction, ohh how terrible of me to agree with that because as a man I must know how heterosexual women think you say just because I agreed with this post, how terrible.
Ohhh I am extremely entitled to view womens bodies at my own pleasure you say?? what total rubbish again, I am pointing out a biological fact that most men are visually stimulated on sight to women, its a fact biologically, NOTHING to do with an entitlement to view women’s bodies for sexual pleasure, stop trying to twist something I am saying and make me out to be something bad, you are rather nasty and rude for doing this and there is no place for this. I suggest you take a long hard look at yourself as its the minority like you who supress people and stigmatise men and society for simply pointing out biological facts or simply expressing an opinion and turning it into something negative. This is why many men and some women are ashamed to come out and admit to feeling sexual desire to others who they are not connected emotionally with as its the minority like you who will jump on them basically saying they are dirt , shame on you and shame on what those like you have done to society and how many feel so ashamed for what it natural because of those like you. You are no different to those who would say similar things about people in past decades who were ashamed to admit to in a highly religious society due to the moralistic judgemental people who would have condemned them for being open and honest about what is totally biologically normal and natural to many people.

Im finding all this “most men are …” “most women are…” really uncomfortable.

Male and female gender roles and stereo types are BS in my opinion.

Sorry flagging as Im not sure these topics have anything to do with"sexual happiness".

Stereotypes are shortsighted and damaging.


Yes it could be sterotyping is short sighted and damaging and best avoided, maybe it is that most men are more biologically one way or the other and the same for women and maybe theres no harm in speculating or atleast being able to be open and honest and treating all options with respect,

Welp, this isnt going the way he planned :woman_shrugging:


@thelordofhope I totally respect that you are of this opinion. I however dont know what you want from the rest of us. Approval, agreement maybe?

Im uncomfortable, Im entitled to that as well?


For me your post seems very long winded and I’m not sure I fully understand you. What I can gather is that you feel sexually attracted to any woman who dares to reveal too much flesh and you are after some sort of justification??? As a male and a father to daughters I think this is extremely disrespectful and no there is no justification or are you right to say that it is a biological fact that all males think this or in fact that females would think this about a male revealing any flesh. Can’t really see how this is relevant to a sexual happiness forum either :question: :man_shrugging: :man_facepalming:


I dont want anything from anyone, just opinions and respect, which some have not done.

Maybe some to say “Yes I agree its normal for most men to feel sexually attracted to women visually and its biological normal”


“No its not biologically normal for most men, some men, some women or anyone to feel sexual attraction to a women on sight as this is objectifying a person and is totally sinful and no one should do this and should seek therapy for this if they do”

etc those are examples. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Agree to disagree!!!


OK forever, thats fine you think its not biologically normal for a man to be sexually attracted to a woman he finds attractive and there is no excuse for being this way and its wrong to you. OK fair enough, your entitled to your opinion.

MrsJohn, I agree with you, its best to agree to disagree with others and with respect and kindness. Some people think its not acceptable and not biological for anyone to be sexually attracted visually to another person they do not know and some people think, like myself that it is normal and biological but ofcourse we should never make anyone feel uncomfortable or STARE at anyone. I also think people who put stigmas on those who are this way are out of order and oppressive. I am entitled to my opinion on that also.

But you are saying only if they are showing flesh in your example at a beech. You are not saying is it ok to be sexually attracted to someone wearing a big thick onesie with a hat scarf and gloves on you are specifically saying when they are revealing parts of themselves. So you are objectifying woman who are revealing flesh. Can you not see someone and think ‘oh they look good’ without feeling sexually attracted to them - is that not a more ‘normal’ biological response rather then I want to have sex with that person because they are showing flesh???

I think moving away from terms like “most” would be beneficial to this discussion. Human beings are so varied that lumping the majority into a label isn’t productive. As well as things having to be black and white, eg. “perfectly normal, crack on” vs “it’s sinful and terrible and you’re a bad person”.

If you have a high sex drive and are attracted to many people, that is okay. The same as it is okay for Asexual people to be attracted to nobody/almost nobody. Something doesn’t have to be wrong for something else to be right. Multiple things can be okay at the same time. You don’t need to be part of the majority for it to be okay.

Personally, I think sexual attraction has a lot to do with the society we are in, more than biology.


I can see and appreciate a person’s face/physique flashing flesh and not be sexually attracted to them, in the same way i can appreciate a work of art.
Not all blokes are walking round with erections at the sight of every pretty female in something revealing.


No one way saying that WilllC

“I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it”

What does the above mean then? :thinking:

1 Like

From my perspective: no I am not sexually attracted to females based on the amount of naked skin they are showing and I would not be sexually aroused in the situation your described. For me the raw sexual arousal is triggered far more by the persons persona, sparkle in their eyes or smile than their body shape or degree of nakedness and how they fit my own demographic including my age group. It may be because I have grown up daughters and nieces so see younger ladies differently, I have zero sexual attraction to the younger woman regardless of their looks.

Do YOU have concerns/reservations about your attitude/behaviour? If you are happy that there is nothing wrong with what you do then where does the need to seek so many other opinions come from? For whatever reason you do seem to be seeking validation. You have received a widevrange of opinions but do appear defensive to opinions that differ to yours. If YOU are not happy about the way you behave or feel it negatively affects those around you and want to change then seek professional help but if you are happy as you are and confident you are not hurting anyone then carry on., I don’t thinks more opinions are going to clarify anything for you