wrong person

y is it that alot ov the time females pick the wrong guy there r so many nice females and i look around and they seem to pick a "wrong one".

i dont mean to big my self up but im a good guy, friendy, kind, good to any parter and do my best to look after them,

but im still single and cant find some1 who wants a nice guy. ?

DOC1 wrote:

y is it that alot ov the time females pick the wrong guy there r so many nice females and i look around and they seem to pick a "wrong one".

i dont mean to big my self up but im a good guy, friendy, kind, good to any parter and do my best to look after them,

but im still single and cant find some1 who wants a nice guy. ?

might it be that you are always competing with other men and paitning yourself out to be a perpetual victim of "women" as a whole and not specific individuals

also why classify all "females" as going out with a wrong one. it's a common theme among men who think that a man must be inferior to him because that man is going out with the girl he wants.

i've met far too many self procclaimed "nice guys" who are total assholes and it puts me off anyone who ( correctly or incorrectly) lables themselves as this.

just act like a human being, be decent and nice to everyone and eventually you will find someone. try to put yourself out there on things like dating sites, in your social circle and general life.

To answer Sweetlove, I think it's because men generally do things in the open, whereas women keep it within the relationship only and even then tries to keep some of the things secret from the partner. You know, the whole spending spree thing. I know that's a rather sexist thing to say. I can only go by what I've seen and heard of.

On the flipside anyway, I've met the wrong woman who, I feel, was simply using me for sexual purposes. That's a confidence issue right there for me, I guess, but she didn't even ask if I wanted to have sex and I was just swept into it. I couldn't even say a simple 'no'.

But... yeah... it's not always the case that it's only the man which is the wrong one. Perhaps they're both 'wrong'. I have a flatmate (woman) who socialises A LOT. It's as though she's prioritising going on nights out than her actual university course. She probably got with a guy who's the same and also goes partying a lot. I'm probably being pessimistic here, though. I'd like to just wait (not literally wait) and find the right one, than the wrong one which I HAD found.

A lot of people tell me I go for the wrong men, but I've tried 'nice' and in general 'nice' translates to bores me to death. Nice men don't excite me, nice men ask to many questions, need to much attention, aren't aggressive enough in bed. I don't want nice, I want driven, passionate, decisive, intense, focused, calm, patient, adoring, aggresive, bold and unashamed.

Now quiet I don't mind and shy I don't mind if there's a tiger underneath.

I don't like rude, abrupt, arrogant, self absorbed or self obsessed men. I don't like men who think they are God's gift- just men who know what they want and don't take shit. It has been my experience that the 'wrong men' I've been out with have all been incredibly caring and loved looking after me.

It's always nice to have an animal residing within us... I like to take things slower than what had happened. I seriously didn't even know that woman well enough...

I think women are conditioned by society to assume all men are up for it all the time and it's all they want/are interested in. I can't ever remember reading a magazine article about how to get to the next step with a man who wants to respect you and get to know you first....

I've been married 3 times, and for two of them I know it was me that was the wrong un Far too twisted and kinky for most mens tastes

I have only had 2 serious relationships and I am still in the second. My first was every bikers dream wild adventurous and up for anything. Last time I saw her she was tearing across the in field of a race circuit on a Triumph Bonneville 750cc. The problem was she was up for ANYTHING. We split up when I overheard her telling a friend of mine she was going to the Reading music festival, nothing wrong with that except she was going with 11 other men and they were all sleeping in the same tent lol. There are some places I just dont want to go.

I've heard she got married eventially to a policeman of all things and as far as I know shes happy, I hope so coz in herself she was nice just too much for me to handle.

What sort of woman are you attracted to, DOC? Could that be influencing your experiences?

From what I've seen, a lot of women are attracted to 'good guys', probably more than 'wrong' ones. So I'm wondering if you aren't limiting your data sample (and dating pool) in some way.

Rose hip I remember reading that women when young are attracted to what would be called a bad guy because bad guys are driven by high testosterone levels later they are attracted to good guys. The ideal situation is to fall prenant to a bad guy and then get a good guy to pay for everything ....this is purely in anthropological terms completely disredarding any relationship and love issues.

I've always thought that women generally go for men who are socially confident. The man that goes up to a woman, starts talking to her and makes her laugh is the one who's going to get the girls whether that be something deep and meaningful or a quick fling. It doesn't matter if they're a "wrong one"; they broke the ice and started talking and that's a pretty good start. It's amazing how much you can achieve with a smile and "hi, what's your name?".

I know this is a sweeping generalisation but being quietly wonderful is extremely unrewarding. Nice is a great quality but it doesn't catch the eye or quicken a pulse.

If I were single I would be using internet dating for all it's worth. That would give you a much better chance to get to know someone and bring out your finer qualities without the immediate social pressure of a bar or party.

As you said, there are nice females around, they may just be waiting for you to make the first move. Good luck!

gunther wrote:

Rose hip I remember reading that women when young are attracted to what would be called a bad guy because bad guys are driven by high testosterone levels later they are attracted to good guys. The ideal situation is to fall prenant to a bad guy and then get a good guy to pay for everything ....this is purely in anthropological terms completely disredarding any relationship and love issues.

That was never the case with me, gunther. And it wasn't even the case with most of my friends at school.

I honestly don't know where they find all of these 'wrong guy' women.

I do know, however, that my experience has been dismissed out of hand by men complaining about wrong guy women because - in their words - "you have to settle cause you're not that hot."

In other words, it hasn't been me who's dissing nice guys. In my experience, it's been the guys who are claiming to be nice.

im trying to atract a nice woman. im a good guy ie open doors pull the chair out but im a party animal and a go wild in the bed room. but the woman i see oround r the ones that get the guys that hurt them im not tlike that.

just a chance i need

xxx

I am married to a nice guy. Before me he didn't have any relationships. When I was dating him (before we got married) a couple of people asked me if he is gay. I guess some women think guys can't be nice and if they are, then they should be gay. Maybe you met the right woman but she just doesn't know it yet?

Do you make the first step or you are just waiting for it to happen? (my husband actualy waited for it to happen ;))

DOC1 wrote:

im trying to atract a nice woman. im a good guy ie open doors pull the chair out but im a party animal and a go wild in the bed room. but the woman i see oround r the ones that get the guys that hurt them im not tlike that.

just a chance i need

xxx

maybe it could be because you are tarring all women you meet as the ones that hurt men? if you approach someone expecting them to behave a certain way youre often blinded to the fact they're not really like that.

i dont think i do but maybe

xx

in my experience, i always go for the wrong guy, not intentionally, i want a nice guy who will treat me right. the guys i go for 'act' like the nice guys then turn out to be cold-hearted pricks... :(

DOC1 wrote:

im trying to atract a nice woman. im a good guy ie open doors pull the chair out but im a party animal and a go wild in the bed room. but the woman i see oround r the ones that get the guys that hurt them im not tlike that.

just a chance i need

xxx

What are you doing besides opening doors and pulling out chairs? Have you asked many women out?

yeh but a lot have just come out a bad relationship and not ready 4 anything

xx

I think there is someone for everyone. Not everyone wants the confident guy, or the one who makes all the moves. Same for both parties. Its just as well we are all different. Patience is a virtue.

Agreeing with AA here also. Its easy to look at other peoples relationships and believe that a friend of yours or family member `could do better' but we are never watching when they have the most private and intimate conversations and we dont always see both sides of the relationship.

Doc be patient and you will find that someone special x