21 year old virgin in this day in age!

I am a 21 year old virgin, I would like to have sex, I havent been especially saving it just its never felt right...I now feel happy with my figure and really want to have sex. I have been self gratifying for a long time now!

Do I wait longer for a boyfriend to do it for first time [given that i have never had a boyfriend so not that easy!]

or just do it when iI have the first chance?


I would hold out. I was a late bloomer too. I was almost 21 when I lost my virginity. You don't want your first time to be unpleasent and if you do it with the first guy you get a chance it might not be that great. I found losing my virginity a little bit later on it was fun where if I lost it when I was younger I might not of been very pleasurable.

It took me four years after my first guy to find another person I wanted to sleep with. I guess I am a little fussy.

I hope you find someone who will please you.


21 isn't old compared to some. You're still young. My mentality reading this is you've waited this long, might as well try wait for someone special. Else what was the point in waiting? Definitely don't do it at "the first chance". How long have you been feeling confident for? Because if you've been holding off because of feeling uncomfortable with your body then you probably would be better off waiting until you feel you are in love.
None of us can help you as we don't know your every circumstances. The way you are asking, to me though, shows you may be quite vulnerable.

Virginity is as important and sacred as you make it. It's totally up to you but I do think it is nice for it to be special. Comfortable and safe id the way to go no matter what you decide. Xx

Im a 22 year old virgin (well i will be next month).

Also like you ive not been "saving it" just not really been looking to get rid of it,

My mates take the piss but all i do is joke along with them and point it out to everyone so tht it stops being funny to them :P.

Im more interested in finding a nice girl who i love and trust, rather than just someone to shag, i think sex is a more of an emotion mature thing than just a raw animal instinct, which is my opinon, i dont judge people that think diffrently (unlike some people on here, Mr ork!, kidding! ork doesnt do tht hes nice :). but some people are right meanies!!!)

Honestly hun, do what you feel comfortable with. Nobodys first time is great its always a bit sore, or unpleasent (or in a guys case, breif). But if you find someone you trust you know they'l help you through it :)

My first was pretty unmemorable! :)

It's no big deal. I wish I was still a virgin tbh! Wait until you are ready. If you need advice, you're probably not comfortable. Xx


(Edit: Damn, got ninjad by maltedmilk and Ork. By "This" I mean WeeSteve's post.)

I'm 21, and I'd rather wait to have sex with something I love, rather than the first girl who says yes, and I think you (ChilliPepper) should, too. Still, I do understand the fustration. I do want to have sex, but I don't go out looking for it so I don't have any right to moan about it either. If you're not a wuss like me, try just going out and meeting new people, with the goal being a boyfriend, not someone to shag.

I was 25, and have to say I was glad to lose it to my girlfriend.

TherTheA Few PeRsonal Questions In There. How Sacred IWeird In rginity, Is Sex Better In A Relationship Etc. Everyone Has Different Answer To Those, Butt Really The Only Thing That's Important Is What You Want. If You Meet SomeoneE On A Night Out And It Seem Right Then Have A One Night Stand And Enjoy It. If It Doesn't Feel Right Wait For The Person With Who It Does, Who May Be Someone You've Been In A Relationship WithIt's All About The Right Connection. Ooh And Anyone Worth Worrying About Won't Have A Problem With You Being A Virgin No Master What Your Age, Never M Mind 21!

Why Tree Hell Is My Phone Recently Capitalizing Every Word?! Damn Thing...

I lost mine at 15, since then been with a few girls and wish I hadn't lost it so early as my most recent girl is the only person I felt It was right with so far. So I would say wait it out till you meet the right person and don't regret any choices you have made. Also I lost to it to my best friend of 10 years and it still didn't feel right, so just be sure.

That sucks, SLF. Sorry to hear that. Hope it didn't put too much of a strain on your friendship. Do you two still get on well?

I dont think it makes a difference to be honest... its just sex. Sex is meant to be fun. If you get the chance and you want to, do it. Lifes too short to be holding yourself back. What are the chances of staying with the person you first had sex with? Too many people make out the first time as if its special but think about it, who ever has a good first time :S, its just something to get out the way before you start your sexual journey >: )

fistinglover69 wrote:

I dont think it makes a difference to be honest... its just sex. Sex is meant to be fun.

I agree with this but you must admit it's much better with someone you want to be with as opposed to a randomer or because it convinent.

THIING28 wrote:

That sucks, SLF. Sorry to hear that. Hope it didn't put too much of a strain on your friendship. Do you two still get on well?

Feel a bit bad saying that tbh I don't regret it at all and we've done stuff since then and are still best mates 7 years on, still it didn't ever feel right and was never that enjoyable.

My only serious gf was a virgin at, can't really remember, 22-23ish. We went out for quite a while, and were intimate, just not penetration. She did not feel ready, and it didn't really bother me, we got there in the end. Some men will mind though, but they are probably not right for you anyway. Just don't build it up to be a super special occasion, because for most, first time is pants :) Good luck x

I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be a virgin at 21, firstly, its not that old lol and it’s no one business so I wouldn’t worry. I would recommend you wait for a good partner. A one night stand or a fling can be fun but for me sex with a partner you trust and really want to be with is always best.

First of all I’d like to praise you for still being a virgin, its something to be proud of! You have clearly expressed your interest in sex, now, as you said you have reached a point where you feel happy with your figure. This self-confidence will be a helpful factor, when you are ready, to evolve your sex life into a healthy and for filling one.

Don’t succumb to social pressures or other people’s assorted ideologies. You are the master of your own destiny, so make sure these great decisions you make are correct for you and are happening at the right time.

Your first sexual experiences and your first sexual partner is one that you will always remember, so choose wisely! Also this is both a physical and mental journey for you, a milestone you should look upon with great anticipation, not a spontaneous or brash decision.

Bide your time and make sure you are experiencing your first sexual encounter under your terms, in a safe, pleasurable and comfortable environment. Waiting for the occasion and when the moment in time is right for you.

Altho I don't regret my past experiences since they helped shape the person I am today and have allowed me to better please my current partner, I sometimes wish I would have waited longer until I had sex. I lost my virginity at 15 to my boyfriend of a few months. Even though I didn't realise it at the time, it wasn't genuine love. It would have been nice to be able to give my virginity to the man I marry.

By the way, I know a 26 year old virgin. It's nothing to feel shameful about at all. It's easy to lose your virginity, but once it's gone you can never get it back. Embrace your virginity and feel proud!

I lost mine at almost 23 and well, no regrets here. I personally dont think its great deal to be a virgin and I wanted someone I would love. Does not mean we would be together forever, which we were not, but wanted to do it with someone I could trust, respect and love.

First time can be bit stressful and for some women even bit painful, regardless of the preparations and how much you want it, if the hymen is bit stronger. I would personally advise not to jump at it just because you are virgin and want to loose it, but wait till you have someone you trust, love and respect.

As a just-gone-36 year old virgin of much the same opinion re: virginity/sex; I've considered that dilemma myself on more than a few occasions. Obviously your mileage may vary, but ultimately I came to the conclusion that I'd rather find someone I actually wanted, rather than someone convenient who'd tick the 'had sex' box for me. I'm not 'saving myself', but certainly at this point in time, I'd rather it was someone I felt comfortable revealing that aspect of myself to.

All of the advice above is sound advice. I'd just like to add:

As long as it's safe and consensual all sex is great. Trust me, the chances are that once the first one is out of the way you'll be looking for it again very soon afterwards....and again...and again...

SEX IS THE BEST....nowt beats it.....get your keks off and enjoy the ride....pun intended !

Thanks all :)

I mean I am a romantic in some ways when i feel like it should be special but as some of you have said 'it's as big a deal as you make it' and honestly its never really felt like a big deal!

I mean I have done stuff with a couple of people but not the whole shebang! and even then it was a bit like 'oh is this meant to be pleasurable? I could do a better job!'

I have been chatting to this guy who I have known from uni who is HOT! and he is interested in me! he is also very experienced in the sex dept! we have had some explicit conversations over messaging and we are planning to meet up when he is back in the country after work and i want him...pretty badly and the fact he wants me when he knows I am a bit chubbier and that hasnt put him off is pretty awesome! but then being young and emotionally quite immature i worry if i do sleep with him ill be all needy and attached and then ill regret it!

Im very sexually open and I probably think about it everyday so the idea of waiting more seems like such a draaag! Id never do it with a random guy i didnt know but it doesnt seem very easy for me to get a boyfriend so im just a bit bored of my own company! lol