Hi all, posting this for a friend as shes not on the forum but I’ve showed her how amazing, supportive, experienced and helpful you all are.
She’s just turned the big 5-0 and hasn’t had the big O. She’s not currently with a partner and so it’s all about the solo play.
I’ve suggested all the usual things, relax, nake sure you have time undisturbed etc. She has no problem getting wet and has a number of toys at her disposal.
The main thing I don’t have experience of is that she says she gets excited, feels a little tingle and then seems to lose all sensation on her clit completely making it hard for her to orgasm.
I know you guys will have some great suggestions and I’m looking forward to passing them on.
Toys which have high frequency vibrations tend to numb the clitoris (so my wife tells me). She prefers low frequency rumbly vibrations.
Has your friend tried a suction pulsing device like a Womanizer? Since they have no direct contact with the clitoris they tend not to have the same numbing effect as a conventional. vibrator
I would definitely suggest trying a wand or a suction toy as they can make you orgasm very quickly.
If these toys have brought her no joy, I would maybe suggest looking at what the cause could be.
Medications could possibly be effecting orgasms. Also piercings old or new could be an issue.
The Romp Free X is quite quiet. You wouldn’t hear it under bed covers. It’s very reasonably priced and my wife loves it. She doesn’t get on with a lot of suction toys but this one works every time.
Sometimes orgasms can be shortened or stopped abruptly due to not being able to relax deeply enough, although the body is relaxed the mind may not be - or vice versa. I know you mentioned that your friend feels relaxed however sometimes being deeply relaxed can be a different feeling all together.
This could be due to a number of reasons - such as being conscious of making too much noise. The first thing I’d suggest is trying with background music or a film on, sometimes the background noise can help distract the body or mind enough to deeply relax and throw caution to the wind regarding noise. Another thing I would suggest if noise is a concern and music or film doesn’t help is buying a waterproof toy and taking it into the shower, the noise of the water tends to drown out any vibrational noises.
A few other people have also suggested suction toys as they use air flow and have no harsh direct contact with the clitoris like other toys do, I’ve heard that some of the ROMP toys are brilliant so it’s worth checking out reviews! Hope this helps
Is she on antidepressants by chance?
Also I vaguely remember something like this being mentioned before on here and that person found oral ended up helping them loads for this as the stimulation of a vibrating toy numbed their senses down there…
Has she tried using just her fingers to play with or invested in one them oral type tongue toys?
I would suggest a clitty suction toy imo they are guaranteed to make any woman cum!! They are awesome. Tell her to purchase a toy just relax and have fun don’t think about it to much just focus on constantly rubbing your clit/fingering your vagina or other hole or putting toys up your bum with loads and loads of lube. Good luck to her.
I love the conversations you have with your friends - they are so much more exciting than the ones I have!!!
Good advice above. One thing to note is that some Womanizer suction toys have a feature called Smart Silence. It’s on the Premium and the OG that we have.
The toy only activates when it’s touching your skin and in use - so it’s not loudly making a noise otherwise.
Although our nickname for the Premium is “the growler” cos it does make a funny noise
Not too loud though, and that feature is great. The LH Rose is also great too.
As the others have said, relaxation and enjoyment is the main thing - the moment I chase an orgasm, it runs away from me. I think its better to focus on what turns you on, rather than the finish line.
But if its a long term problem, she may need some more investigation - it’s usually in the head - but occasionally it aint!
I can chime in regarding the suction toys. My OH has the Pro 40 and it can seem loud at first but once you find the spot and it gets a good seal it will get quiet…but then she gets loud in no time flat. that things will suck the Os out in record time, quite impressive, and as stated before no direct contact so multiples are on the table as the clit doesn’t “go numb” from over stimulation.
hopefully some of the suggestions will help show an improvement for her