How Are You Navigating Intimacy With ADHD?
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I don’t know about ADHD but I’m autistic and it’s both stressful and my favourite pass time lol. Not being able to read body language makes me constantly paranoid I’m not pleasing my wife. When I ask her after then I think she’s just saying I do to not hurt my feelings because I can’t read if someone is lying or not.
How do you experience it with ADHD?
I have both! It is both a blessing and a curse, when its good its great, when its not… its none existant, my minds just elsewhere, sensory overload 
my husband feels the same way you do too!
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Is he autistic too?
Do you feel like it’s a problem or it is what it is?
I find the ADHD makes me way more casual about it because it’s almost like doing something erotic can be a stim sometimes to just keep idle hands busy. Play partner also has ADHD which causes some very frequent and spontaneous acts.
Do you stim with ADHD?
I have sensory overload issues at times, so managing the sensory conditions is key. I found if I’m in sensory overload, the sexy stuff in your brain has trouble getting through.
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I have found ADHD to be a bit of a pain in terms of how frustrated I get, but I do also lose interest very quickly. So I will have focus totally on sex and need it and crave it and be almost mentally begging for it… and then it all just flows away. But me and my partner are both totally in line with eachother and we have weeks of rabbit sessions and then a few days of nothing.
My therapist said I deal with emotional problems through sex and intimacy, so I have a huge mixed bag of issues 
. For instance I was really upset over a recent friend passing and I instantly just wanted to be intimate with my partner, it’s like a safe haven for me.
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We (my wife and I) have very little knowledge (and no experience) of ADHD or autism, but it may help you to know that the issues you describe are experienced by most (if not all) couples at times.
Without going into too long an explanation, I think it’s very common for there to be communication issues in any sexual relationship, and for one person to be unsure of what the other person really wants. My wife, for example, finds it very difficult to convey what she wants, or ask for things that she obviously likes (but won’t admit to liking).
Part of the answer (for me) is to see the mystery of sex as part of its attraction, and accept that nobody really makes much sense of it.
But of course I appreciate this may be easier said than done.
I am newly diagnosed with ADHD and being referred for an Autism diagnosis as I present strongly with both.
When in the moment then it is amazing and nothing like it. When my mind goes elsewhere then it’s so different and by the time I realize I am not in the moment, I make sure that I enjoy it as much as I can and that I please my wife.
I’ve titrating on medication with no effect so far but hopefully getting that right and self management will mean I can be more consistent in enjoying myself
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I once had explorations with a guy who had ADHD and he was very fiddly with his hands 
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Yeah, ide say more me being the problem 
! I feel awful about it
I cant work out which of my traits are which but i most definitely stim!
Are you recently diagnosed then?
I was diagnosed autistic a few months ago, I’m 42. For me it’s been a confusing period but at the same time a bit of a revelation for me. Finally, things make sense to me rather than me just constantly thinking I’m crazy! I’m so good at masking it that even I didn’t recognise it earlier. I also mask my stims.
Fortunately my wife is a wonderfully caring, understanding and patient person that helps me immensely
Haha, this! The more unstable I am, the more I want it!
I have audhd and “normal” sex bores me, so hubby is always working to make it interesting for me so I don’t get distracted.
Downside is then since it is so good, it’s never enough and I practically hump his leg for a week until I move onto my next fixation and it starts all over again.
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