Hi. So, I'm 21 and still a virgin and I wondered if anyone could give me advice about vaginal sex? I don't plan on losing my virginity; I want to use a rabbit vibrator, but whenever I finger myself, it's uncomfortable and doesn't really feel good. So I'm worried that putting something bigger in there will really hurt. I wonder if I'm doing anything wrong, lol. I actually missed out on a sale for the rabbit I wanted because I was afraid it'd go to waste. I only have clitoral vibes at the moment, but I'd really like to be able to add some regular ones to my collection. Thanks in advance for any advice given.
Hello! I am not an expert but I am sure if you insert the rabbit in far enough it may break your hymen? Thus 'losing' your virginity ? However if you still want to go ahead then I suggest these:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35205 - beginner rabbit, on sale too
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16407 - small insertable length, on sale too
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24998&fo_c=24&fo_k=b8a030dd7bf180002d3eea5e0c896bf5&fo_s=monetategb - posable shaft, small circumference
Beginner Gspot toys?
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36310&fo_c=24&fo_k=15f5f149db99ec7ab016a949da737408&fo_s=monetategb - deal of the day at the moment and at rock bottom price £8! Bargain.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24785 - much smaller circumference
If any of the toys you do purchase dont work out for you then take advantage of Lovehoney's return policy. You can have up to 1 year refund, no questions asked. The toys get recycled and you get your money back. Better than collecting dust under your bed forevermore!
Good luck and let us know how you get on!
🐼
Rather than going straight for a rabbit, I would start off with a slim internal vibrator like this one:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36047
And hold a clitoral vibe, like a bullet, separately on your clit.
Before inserting the vaginal vibe have a warm up with a clit toy to make sure you are relaxed and aroused (the vagina is bigger when you are aroused). Also, buy some water based lube and apply pleanty to the toy. This will help you insert it comfortably.
I like this lube for everything:
Although they brand it as anal lube, its just a good thick clear lube that works well.If you find you get on well with a slim toy then try buying something a little girthier.
Rabbits can be so hit and miss, it took me ages of hating them before I found a couple I liked, and they were high end expensive ones. That's why I think its better to start off with two separate toys, one for vaginal stimulation and one for clitoral stimulation, rather than going for a rabbit straight away.
Hope you find this helpful & enjoy finding a new toy!
Oops, sorry, linked to the vibe twice! This is the lube: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31585Jezebella wrote:
Rather than going straight for a rabbit, I would start off with a slim internal vibrator like this one:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36047
And hold a clitoral vibe, like a bullet, separately on your clit.
Before inserting the vaginal vibe have a warm up with a clit toy to make sure you are relaxed and aroused (the vagina is bigger when you are aroused). Also, buy some water based lube and apply pleanty to the toy. This will help you insert it comfortably.
I like this lube for everything:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36047
Although they brand it as anal lube, its just a good thick clear lube that works well.
If you find you get on well with a slim toy then try buying something a little girthier.
Rabbits can be so hit and miss, it took me ages of hating them before I found a couple I liked, and they were high end expensive ones. That's why I think its better to start off with two separate toys, one for vaginal stimulation and one for clitoral stimulation, rather than going for a rabbit straight away.
Hope you find this helpful & enjoy finding a new toy!
Given that I'm a bloke and therefore lacking in the vagina department my advice will be a bit limited.
However, the impression I get from here and also from chats with the OH is start slow and small and look to involve lube.
You'll definitely find things/methods that are uncomfortable for you, but also you'll start to discover what works for you and feels good as well.
Self discovery like this can only come from experience, whether that's by yourself or with a partner.
I was a late bloomer compared to a lot of my friends back home, but finding the right partner and experimenting together opened my eyes and taught me what works (at least for her).
Hi and welcome to the forum!
I can see you’ve already had some great advice! Like everyone has said take it slow and make sure you warm up first.
Another suggestion (which is my personal opinion) is I’ve just purchased my first ever glass dildo - I purchased the Lovehoney nubby which is currently on sale - it’s very slim and I actually find because of the glass that once lubed up it goes in very easy! A lot easier than my vibrators and I don’t find it as painful - so maybe try using a glass dildo and a clitoral vibrator if none of the above options work out for you?
All I can say is relax, take your time, use plenty of lube and enjoy yourself!
Hi there! Without getting into discussions about what 'qualifies' you as a virgin I was in the same situation as you and I still only use toys, I still say I am a virgin even though I am pretty certain my hymen is broken. Its entirely your own definition and don't let anyone say you're not a virgin if you've been penetrated by toys, if thats important to you.
I started with just clitoral stimulation and then moved on to a mini rabbit but Kristylee's suggestion of glass is good although the hardness of glass can make it feel bigger, yes it was still uncomfortable at first and was slow but if you are able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation first and use plenty of lube you will get there. Basically what jezebella has said.
Take time to make yourself relaxed and feel good first till you feel you want to be penetrated. As has been said the more arroused you are the easier it will be.
You could also get a check over at the drs to check there are no underlying medical issues.
Good luck
AmyA wrote:
Hi there! Without getting into discussions about what 'qualifies' you as a virgin I was in the same situation as you and I still only use toys, I still say I am a virgin even though I am pretty certain my hymen is broken. Its entirely your own definition and don't let anyone say you're not a virgin if you've been penetrated by toys, if thats important to you.
This is a really important point ^
Personally I would recommend a really narrow toy like this:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=309
It's marketed as an anal toy but there's no reason why you couldn't use it vaginally. It's slimline (perfect if you're not used to being penetrated) and will provide the vibration that you are looking for. The shape looks good too because it gets girthy as you move down the shaft, so you could build up to how much you feel comfortable inserting.
Jezebella's recommendation of the slimline g-spot vibrator is a good place to start too:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36047
If you feel uncomfortable inserting a finger at the moment, I would avoid materials like glass and choose something much softer.
Use loads and loads of lube and take it slow!
Lubricants I recommend are the Lovehoney Enjoy and Sliquid H2O.
Lovehoney - Rebecca wrote:
AmyA wrote:
Hi there! Without getting into discussions about what 'qualifies' you as a virgin I was in the same situation as you and I still only use toys, I still say I am a virgin even though I am pretty certain my hymen is broken. Its entirely your own definition and don't let anyone say you're not a virgin if you've been penetrated by toys, if thats important to you.
This is a really important point ^
Personally I would recommend a really narrow toy like this:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=309
It's marketed as an anal toy but there's no reason why you couldn't use it vaginally. It's slimline (perfect if you're not used to being penetrated) and will provide the vibration that you are looking for. The shape looks good too because it gets girthy as you move down the shaft, so you could build up to how much you feel comfortable inserting.
Jezebella's recommendation of the slimline g-spot vibrator is a good place to start too:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36047
If you feel uncomfortable inserting a finger at the moment, I would avoid materials like glass and choose something much softer.
Use loads and loads of lube and take it slow!
Lubricants I recommend are the Lovehoney Enjoy and Sliquid H2O.
+1 Some great advice here xx
I've never felt comfortable using my own fingers inside. No idea why. I think starting with something slim would be best, as others suggested.
Come on girls get to know your own bodys better your hymen could get broken using a tapon it is like a rubber ring a sex worker was check and her hymen was found to be intacked even having many men over a long time you can say you are a virgin if you have not had penatrated sex with a man and if people do not belive you that is their problem not yours
Dj
I would just want to point out that having an "unbroken" hymen isn't a criteria for being a virgin.
The hymen normally have small holes in it so menstrual blood can escape. The hymen often get more of them during different activities such as riding a horse or a bicycle. Therefore some virgins have hymens that's barely noticible, the same goes for people who has had sex.
From a medical standpoint, I wouldn't worry about it affecting your hymen. It's probably already broken and a partner can never see if you're a virgin or not from your hymen, it's impossible.
It's a medical condition to have a completely closed hymen and it needs intervention.
Sorry for the late reply! I posted this message right before travelling.
Thank you all so much for your replies! I don't know why, but I thought my message was going to end up with no replies, so I'm very grateful for everyone's advice!
I wouldn't really consider myself to have 'lost' my virginity if I used a toy and broke my hymen, so no worries there.
I've had a doctor check me out down there before, and they've said I'm perfectly fine, but they didn't really comment on whether or not my hymen was broken... Maybe I should've asked, lol.
As for the toys, Jezebella's recommendation looks really nice and seems like it fits my criteria (i.e. slim, vibrates, doesn't look exactly like a penis), so thank you very much Jezebella! And thanks to everyone for your suggestions and advice. Don't worry, I already have loads of lube, lol.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35808
These are the clitoral vibes I currently have:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31404
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15359
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34723
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22172
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22122
They feel good to use, but I think I made a mistake in getting super powerful ones because they usually make my clit go numb before I'm even close to orgasming. *facepalm*
Don't get me wrong, they're all amazing, but I've yet to orgasm with any of them... The bullet is the only one that isn't that powerful, but it just doesn't seem to be powerful enough, lol. I know, I'm awful. I think it's more my environment that's stopping the orgasm; I live with family and I share a room, so I'm rarely alone in the house. Even when I am, I think I get too tense thinking about the possibility of someone coming home. Or maybe it's stress. I dunno. But I'm gonna do my best to make this work.
Sorry just learned something, I have had a rabbit for years, I've only ever used on my clit have just learnt from this thread the rabbit is meant to be used elsewhere !!!
PS i use shaft of rabbit as any other vibrator
Ok, if you are not relaxed then that is almost always guaranteed to make any kind of penetration uncomfportable, just as you hear how foreplay and proper prep is important to sex it's no different when pleasuring yourself.
The slim vibrators might help but It might be wise to take a step back and concentrate on enjoying yourself and getting pleasure from external stimulation, one reason being if you persist with trying penetration when it is painful or uncomfortable you can build up a subconscious reaction where you expect pain, get more tense and the problem gets worse and from what I have learnt from others here it can be a slow process to reverse that connection.
It might sound dumb or obvious or feel silly but you might need to go to basics (or perhaps you didn't ever try this?) Romance yourself, it sounds like you are not relaxing much at all, when you have time when you are alone and you know you won't be disturbed try having a nice relaxing bath, have a glass of wine or two, maybe watch or read something that turns you on. You could even put on some music, light candles or whatever but just do whatever to relax and then take your time, experiment with the clit vibes, seeing what reels good or your fingers maybe if you find the vibes too strong (you could aso try using them over underwear)
Orgasm from penetration only is a lot more difficult for most women so until you can get to that point with your clitoris you could well find it frustrating.
I think having privacy and time to relax will be important. It could be that weaker vibrations actually work well for you, you just need enough time where you aren't worried about being disturbed to build up to orgasm. I've had wand vibrators turn my clit numb before, and I know an orgasm just ain't going to happen after that. Have you thought about using your waterproof bullet and masturbating in the bath? It could relax you more, and with a locked door you might be less worried about people walking in. Also no one will be able to hear the vibe if its under water.CocoLove wrote:
Sorry for the late reply! I posted this message right before travelling.
Thank you all so much for your replies! I don't know why, but I thought my message was going to end up with no replies, so I'm very grateful for everyone's advice!
I wouldn't really consider myself to have 'lost' my virginity if I used a toy and broke my hymen, so no worries there.
I've had a doctor check me out down there before, and they've said I'm perfectly fine, but they didn't really comment on whether or not my hymen was broken... Maybe I should've asked, lol.
As for the toys, Jezebella's recommendation looks really nice and seems like it fits my criteria (i.e. slim, vibrates, doesn't look exactly like a penis), so thank you very much Jezebella! And thanks to everyone for your suggestions and advice. Don't worry, I already have loads of lube, lol.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35808
These are the clitoral vibes I currently have:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31404
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15359
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34723
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22172
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22122
They feel good to use, but I think I made a mistake in getting super powerful ones because they usually make my clit go numb before I'm even close to orgasming. *facepalm*
Don't get me wrong, they're all amazing, but I've yet to orgasm with any of them... The bullet is the only one that isn't that powerful, but it just doesn't seem to be powerful enough, lol. I know, I'm awful. I think it's more my environment that's stopping the orgasm; I live with family and I share a room, so I'm rarely alone in the house. Even when I am, I think I get too tense thinking about the possibility of someone coming home. Or maybe it's stress. I dunno. But I'm gonna do my best to make this work.