Advice for next step in restraints & spanking play.

OK a quick forum search didn't answer or suggest anything immediately so here goes:

We have always been reasonably experemental in - and out of the bedroom but, now we're taking a slightly bigger step. We've always been up for tieing up, blindfolded and the like and gone from neckties and dressing gown cords through "hen night" furry handcuffs to the underbed restraints that live under the mattress.

We've indulged in a little light spanking with mixed results - I think I'm still a little scared or hurting her in that sense and, we've tried a little sensory play with nipples clamps & suckers.

So. The next step we're looking to explore is pussy spanking and, well we're after advice on suitable tools and anything you guys can suggest. So far we have tried a couple of paddles, a flogger, nipple clamps and a set of silicone nipple suckers - which also works well on the clitoras.

Anyway, over to you guys. What do you recommend?

Why not try sensual spanking on her bottom. Get her to go on all 4s and place one hand on her sex, with the other lightly spank her rear whilst gently stroking and caressing her sex. This make my OH squirt and turns her wild.

For spanking her sex I would talk it through first as my OH doesn't like it for example.

Cheers Mysteron, she has already suggested this and that's the main reason for the enquiry. We tried a paddle but, maybe it was me was a little too much too soon while a flogger was too far the other way.

Also, since an attic conversion our bedroom is alot smaller so having her tied doesn't give me much room for manoeuvre.

We also thought door restraints which would also open up most of the rest of the house and then some of the items in our wishlist.

luvved up cupple wrote:

Cheers Mysteron, she has already suggested this and that's the main reason for the enquiry. We tried a paddle but, maybe it was me was a little too much too soon while a flogger was too far the other way.

Also, since an attic conversion our bedroom is alot smaller so having her tied doesn't give me much room for manoeuvre.

We also thought door restraints which would also open up most of the rest of the house and then some of the items in our wishlist.

Well the idea of sensual spanking is just that its sensual . Pain is not the key here but gentle taps . You could use implements for this as a different feel but they would need to be of the short handle type . A hairbrush for example. Like my Mrs it sounds like your OH is sensitve in that area.

I prefer a hand spanking to anything else. Don't underestimate your hand. The spanker has more control over their hand too and you can rub in between spanks which is delightful. Everyone is different but floggers, paddles and crops are better suited to more fleshy areas.

Lil_Red_Kinkyboots wrote:

I prefer a hand spanking to anything else. Don't underestimate your hand. The spanker has more control over their hand too and you can rub in between spanks which is delightful. Everyone is different but floggers, paddles and crops are better suited to more fleshy areas.

+1 wifey absolutely loves it when I use my hand to spank her lady parts, even if its just a finger or two!

I absolutely love a spanking, both arse and pussy, but they're very different. If you worry about hurting, start off with your hand. You can feel how hard you're hitting, it hurts your hand after a while, but it's a very effective spanker! Start out with lots of lighter taps, and work your way up. This enables you to work out what you're both comfortable with and also warms up the skin so the first hard smack doesn't send her through the ceiling!

The hand is also perfect as a pussy spanker, as the size is just right. Same advise, but chances are you won't want to go as hard. On most women it's a lot less fleshy and can hurt more. All you're usually trying to do with a pussy spanking is increase the blood flow to the area, which increases sensitivity.

In terms of hurting someone, you are playing with pain.. so if it doesn't hurt at all, I'd suggest you're doing it wrong. So long as you keep away from the lower back (kidneys don't like spanking) you can more or less go to town without injury. You can also bruise and still feel damn good. It depends how far you want to take it.

Personally, I would also say SAFE WORDS. Keep them simple and memorable, maybe use the traffic light system. Also, look up LoveHoneys YouTube channel. Jess Wilde does a great series on there about BDSM and has some great advice for beginners.

Have fun! Xx

Thanks Shepherdess, maybe we'll start with hands & work from there.