Sorry in advance for the long post! Stupid but you wouldn’t believe how much its taken to actually write this so please be kind
Without boring everyone to tears the in my sex drive has been refuelled (finally came of the pill which is what I believe made it die a miserable death). Being of a fuller curvier figure I found that since things have started going again positional wise we are struggling to get somewhere thats good for both of us. I had read that a wedge pillow was good for us curvy girls anyome able to confirm this is true? Being able to count our activities for the last year on my hands and still have fingers left over (which is majorly down to me having had zero drive and crappy self confidence). I want to get things back on the right track.
The other issue we encountered was the condoms we’ve been together nearly 8 years and never used them as I was on the pill. Now that there’s the need for them whats the best ones! We got the free pasante ones from the chemist but it seemed so thick and he barely had any sensation. Open to suggestions and recommendations of ones that are thinner even textured or something.
Regarding condoms its all down to preference really. I have pretty much always used durex extra safe ones. They have ribbed, extra thin and mutual climax as well as others. Obviously because its a well known brand they carry a price tag to match. Looking online can provide a means to bulk buy which cuts the cost greatly.
Personally i have never had a problem with durex and keep a good supply.
Lovehoney have a good selection, if i needed a little more spending for say free delivery or a promotional item i would sometimes add some condoms i was curious about(passante or 50 shades etc).
For condoms, The Durex Pleasure Me have always worked well for myself and my partner. Also Durex tickle me was good but haven’t seen them in a long time and can’t remember where I got them
Thanks will maybe give the extra thin ones a try. Haven’t used them since I was like younger than 22 with a previous partner and it was always the extra safe as we were paranoid now however with current partner the conversations taken place (waiting a little longer) but it wouldn’t be the worst thing if anything failed to work.
We’ve not used a wedge personally but often used a pillow or two or my favourite position at the edge of the bed (all height dependent)
Condom wise it really is trial and error pasante have always been my favourite they do a textured one too. Otherwise lovehoney sell a skins assortment pack which is our second favourite brand and have a good selection
We use extra thin having found ourselves in a similar position to you. Nothing is as good as not using a condom in terms on sensation sadly but after trying many we think these are as good as it gets.
Interested in how you get on with a wedge or others comments. We have considered it several times but were never convinced it was worth the investment.
@broom Thanks for the recommendation ill have to look at an order for some today. Yeh i had read a few things especially saying the wedge was good if you or partner were fuller figured so wondered about others experiences of them. to be honest after I’d read them I just looked up amazon for a cheap wedge pillow possibly to start off with as dont know if its worth the cost initially as a “test run” so to speak.
Thank you! @Alicia4Ever thats all really helpful I actually hadn’t thought of trying a female condom that might be an idea to see if it helps with sensation for my OH. The only thing I’d be worried about would be it coming out another thing we’ve encountered is that the pill had previously made me really dry so even with lube it was painful but since coming off it, well its like someones left the bath water running to put it politely so we’ve had a few issues of slipping out mid moment which is a bit of a nuisance.
@Alicia4Ever thanks again super informative. Things like female condoms are options that should be discussed more in like sex ed at high school. I only knew they were a thing in like the last couple of years but didn’t really know enough about them to say yeh let’s try this. Really think school sex ed has a lot to answer for especially Catholic schools like mines was its probably why I’m initially so shy round it all
@GlasgowGal I believe the pill has something in it which actually reduces your sex drive. My wife had the same problem whilst she was on it. I’m following this post too because my wife is a curvier figure also. So thank you for asking the question.
@jbfrater I’m only just a month off it but the difference I feel in myself is unreal it would take a lot for me think about going back. Just from what I was reading with being curvier the wedge apparently helps with getting the right angles for both parties so worth a try
Can’t help with the condom side of things as I think everyone has different views and has to try out varieties to find the ones they like.
Position though, it could just depend on pelvic tilt. Grab yourself a good book on different positions and try them all out. Whilst doing each think about where you pelvis is in each respect. Try altering the tilt with each position. Eventually you’ll find the right position (and pelvic position) that suits you both. Don’t just take the book’s advice on positions as gospel… experiment. We are all different shapes.
@Totoro thanks ill have a look and see what I can find small issue could be due to me having an internal tilt already which I’m told is fairly common but can make certain things or angles not go to plan
Another vote for Durex Extra Thin/Featherlite here. Nothing will beat the feeling of not having one on but in the grand scheme of things, things still feel great in the lightweight ones and you have that knowledge that you’re somewhat protected.
I keep some Extra Safe ones too for either less experienced partners who like the reassurance of the thicker material, or to dull the sensation a bit if I know I might need some help lasting.
As for wedge pillows, I can’t comment on them specifically but given the difference sticking a normal one under a bum can make, they’re probably worth a try. If nothing else, comfy way to semi-recline to read in bed.
I’ve always used the extra thin/invisible condoms by durex and never had any issue.
Thought I’d add another couple of options in case you hadn’t come across them!
Given that a baby wouldn’t be the end of the world if it did happen you might want to have a look at natural cycles - you measure temperature and it works out when you ovulate so you only need to use condoms on certain days. It’s a very personal choice as some people feel it’s not as effective as it should be, but it’s certainly worth considering along side other methods, even if you immediately rule it out.
There’s also the diaphragm and the copper coil to consider, though I have no real knowledge about them other than what’s on the NHS website.
Lovehoney sells a couple of wedges, one is included in the position master kit, which I’ve noticed on sale quote a bit. Like you I have internal tilt (reverse cowgirl is completely impossible!!) so after much umming and ahing I caved in and bought the kit on sale. But sadly then lockdown came along and so I haven’t tested it! But I have blown it up and laid on it a few times and it seems fairly sturdy!
I also find that a pillow or two under the bum to creat tilt can help too
@Cassii thanks so much for the reply. I hadn’t actually thought about natural cycles to be honest it might be something to consider a little down the line as I’ve only been off the pill just about a month so far. I’m seriously thinking of investing in some sort of pillow or wedge for the specific purpose of (hopefully) getting the right angles for us both. The internal tilt is an absolute head f**k found out at 21 at my first smear and all she said was oh bit of a tilt going on there might find it hard to get pregnant and that was it everything else has had to come from Google
in my sex drive has been refuelled (finally came of the pill which is what I believe made it die a miserable death). Being of a fuller curvier figure I found that since things have started going again positional wise we are struggling to get somewhere thats good for both of us. I had read that a wedge pillow was good for us curvy girls anyome able to confirm this is true? Being able to count our activities for the last year on my hands and still have fingers left over (which is majorly down to me having had zero drive and crappy self confidence). I want to get things back on the right track.
now however with current partner the 
another thing we’ve encountered is that the pill had previously made me really dry so even with lube it was painful but since coming off it, well its like someones left the bath water running to put it politely 
super informative. Things like female condoms are options that should be discussed more in like sex ed at high school. I only knew they were a thing in like the last couple of years but didn’t really know enough about them to say yeh let’s try this. Really think school sex ed has a lot to answer for especially Catholic schools like mines was its probably why I’m initially so shy round it all 
worth a try 
and that was it everything else has had to come from Google