Hi, my husband has been hinting at me giving him anal but when I asked him about it he just acted like I'm a crazy person. Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you resolve it?
What does he say to hint it and what does he say when you ask?
It's not what he says. I have a sleep condition called sexomnia and I woke up in the middle of an episode. He was putting my hand there. He said I was doing it myself but I felt him move his bum cheeks to get better access. :/
He probably feels uncomfortable asking you to do it, next time you're giving him a blow job and stroking his balls just move a finger back and test his reaction, just tickle Dont try and insert.
or... I wouldn't really suggest this as a good way of dealing with it, but pretend you're asleep and try it see what he does lol
he might like the kinkiness of doing it without you knowing during your sleep, have you asked him if you regularly go for his bum while you're asleep? Or if he liked it when you did?
Young and fun95 wrote:
I wouldn't really suggest this as a good way of dealing with it, but pretend you're asleep and try it see what he does lol
I think this is a great idea! but then you'll end up in the same situation you are now, which is trying to get him to admit thats what he likes Xx
I've tried that a few times and his reaction varies. Sometimes he seems to like it more and he gets harder but sometimes he pulls my hand away. As for the sleeping thing, I've tried that as well and again his reaction varies.
tho I have no issues with a partner having anal, I do have issues with putting my fingers in the body (even on myself) so I would have to use toys. Could this be an issue if he does tell me he wants to try it??
A lot of men think it emasculates them to like anal play and will refuse it without hesitation. If he's curious it would probably be fun for both of you to explore it together but he has to accept the curiosity in the first place, even if you can finger him a bit with BJs there's not much available if he completely denies liking it.
There's only so much you can do to a persons putthole before they start noticing, and do you really want to have to pretend and have to be discreet about it only to give him something he can't even ask for himself?
Personall I wouldn't be comfortable doing anything if he didn't ask for it, there's always the chance that you're misinterpreting the situation and make him extremely uncomfortable. Try talking about it in general, maybe just about any fantasies and maybe even throw in a "I've always wanted to peg a guy once in my life".
Tbh... I am getting more turned on to the idea of more kinkier things since the ex became an ex.... But something still doesn't like the idea of someone starting initiating sex with me... Without me knowing about it.
I get a bit defensive by the thought of not being able to consent, if i was asleep, or drunk( highly unlikely now as I barely drink!).
Given my background of an abusive relationship... My ex used to do this, and then claim I knew about it.
I did catch him one time... And I did nothing to see how far he got... Then made a few of those"go away I'm sleeping" sort noises... And he carried on.
I found it quite disturbing myself... I know some ppl are fine with it, and I guess it depends on the relationship you have.
I can't help my past experiences
boobielicious candy wrote:
Hi, my husband has been hinting at me giving him anal but when I asked him about it he just acted like I'm a crazy person. Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you resolve it?
It's a classic for us men he wants it but thinks it's wrong and is to embarrassed to ask. He is fighting with it in his head, many men think they might like it but don't have any idea why and are confused. It is amazing especially if you learn how to massage the prostate. The man's g spot. We indulge in this a fare bit my wife wears inspection gloves this helped her get over putting her fingers in me. She has moved on from that so much as to now initiates this she loves the pleasure she can give me with just a little knowledge and skill.. in no time at all she has me leaking and pouring out pre cum. It is exquisite pleasure to be held just back from orgasm .
boobielicious candy wrote:
tho I have no issues with a partner having anal, I do have issues with putting my fingers in the body (even on myself) so I would have to use toys. Could this be an issue if he does tell me he wants to try it??
boobielicious candy wrote:
I've tried that a few times and his reaction varies. Sometimes he seems to like it more and he gets harder but sometimes he pulls my hand away. As for the sleeping thing, I've tried that as well and again his reaction varies.
This could be two things either he sees it as emasculating but really likes it and is trying to fight it, which would make sense considering how he reacts when you ask him, or it could just be that sometimes he fancies it and sometimes he doesn't, sometimes I really want sometimes I really don't fancy it. But I think it's more likely the first.
i think the toy is a good idea anyway, use a little bullet vibrator to just tickle his bum when you're giving him a blow job. Also, again being a little sneaky, say you got a prostrate massager for tester by accident and would he mind trying it?
Just try it in the heat of the moment and see what happens xD
My partner really likes me to lick/stroke the area below his balls, perhaps your partner doesn't necessarily want you to play with his actual anus, but instead the soft area between that and his penis.
If I were you, I would perhaps include lower areas in your oral sex sessions, start by taking his testicles in your mouth, then move your mouth down to that smooth area and gently apply pressure and stroke him there up and down, perhaps dragging your finger closer to his anus each time until he gives a signal to stop (pulls away, tenses etc)
Stimulating the outside area is quite enjoyable for them (and for us!) so even if they are battling with the idea of penetration, they may still be able to enjoy the forbidden pleasure of a soft touch exploring and tickling them softly.
My partner will argue that he doesn't "enjoy" any penetration, but we have tried using fingers several times. Mentally he doesn't like the idea says it "feels weird", but physically it makes him harder, and he can come with very very minimal touching of the penis whilst I massage his prostate.