Hey all. Feel kinda stupid for asking this question but here I go. I've bee with my long term girlfriend now for 6 years. We are quite open and always talk about anything. When we first started going out, we was at it like rabbits. The past year or so it's gone down hill. She's on the pill and since changing pill doesn't seem in the mood anymore, unless she's on her week break off the pill which then she wants sex but makes it awkward because its that time of month so nothing really happens.
When having sex recently, she always complains that she never orgasms during sex and I'm out of ideas. She won't tell me where she wants it and what feels nice as she isn't willing to find out herself. She just says how am I supposed to play with myself to find out, so I don't know. I've tried using my fingers before to find out but it always ends up with me having to give her oral.
Normally ill go down on her before hand and work my magic which I enjoy doing and she loves it too. Then ill go on to have sex but she never orgasms. For me, if I haven't had sex for a while it doesn't take me long to climax. I go through periods where if I'm having sex regularly I can control myself easier. (I had a stroke 4 years ago and since then have some strange stuff happen in my life, one of them being this ) and she knows this.
We have an hitachi wand which when possible we use which does help loads but we don't want to rely on using this every time we have sex. I have been looking at the we vibe 3 but its £100 and I don't want to rely on this again. Tried cock rings before but no joy.
I don't normally stimulate her clit during sex as I find it awkward to reach, but if I ask her to play with herself she won't so I sometimes feel like I'm always loosing the battle. She doesn't want to experiment with herself and won't play with herself during sex.
I'm out of ideas. What are my other options to try? We are both very close and are lik best friends. It just seems a bit of a dark area in the bedroom, I always feel under pressure when it comes Down to having sex because its constantly at the back of my mind.
Thanks for taking your time for reading this, and hope to hear back.
Hi, i was similar when i went on the pill my sex drive went through the roof during my break week and although we weren't having exactly your problems my sexual needs did change. It does happen sometimes the thing you used to like just don't work the same anymore. Its also possible that if your wife can't orgasm she's getting stressed about it and thinking about it to much will make it so much harder. Really i think you do need to talk about this, some women can't orgasm during sex without clitoral stimulation so if that's the problem without talking about it things might not change. Having said that it sounds like you're doing as much as you can which is great maybe you both just need to take the pressure of a bit. Hope things work out x
Brilliant Advice Lou22 the pill really messes up your body it’s something I am now regretting taking myself, I had the Depo and I have been off it for nearly 8 months. My cycles at 1st went back fine but are now all over the place and now find myself constantly spotting for the last two months and the doctors want to stick me on the mini pill but this just causes more issues. Anyways im drifting from the subject yes things do change I found myself not feeling the same when I was on it and one of the biggest things was my mood and just not wanting it also the things I loved I no longer enjoyed, but on a plus side when you come off it slowly comes back and I now enjoy the things I use to again as Lou said if she over thinks things this wont help both just need to relax and enjoy it
When I was on the pill I was exactly the same, had no sex drive and rarely orgasmed - I decided to come off the pill for one month just to see if it made a difference and BAM I was all over my boyfriend within about three days. Best decision I ever made!
Modnar-one thing the video portrayed very well was how the woman giving the massage was responding to the other woman's body... No matter how good the technique in terms of clitoral massage etc. if you don't take the cues from your partner and 'respond' to her body (so that it becomes instinctive), it won't feel as good for her. Probably stating the obvious I know!