So me and hubby have recently done the BDSM test, and also the Kinktest. Most things we come out compatible and very similar answers (e.g he’s a high % rigger and I’m a high % rope bunny). But on all of his age play is rated medium-high while I haven’t heard of it really before.
I’ve asked him what kinds of things he encompasses in the term, but he gets all embarrassed and won’t talk. So I googled and found it can vary MASSIVELY from calling the top ‘Daddy’ to them ‘making’ you wear nappies and everything in between.
Obviously I’m going to speak to him and try and get him to explain what he pictures etc and see whether it’s something I would be willing to do, but I was wondering if anyone here engages in (adult, consensual) age play? And what kinds of things you do?
Bless 'im… for very understandable reasons, many people feel conflicted and shameful about having an age play kink, when there really is no need to feel bad at all. Your OH needs reassurance that his fantasies have absolutely no connection with p****ophilia (sorry - I can’t even bring myself to type that word). They’re simply a way of acting out a power dynamic, of playing it out, as characters.
Often when my late wife and I were in a BDSM scenario, I’d take on the role of being her “little boy” and she’d act out being a kindly but strict nanny figure. Y’know: Mary Poppins as a domme.
…actually, I’ve always thought that Julie Andrews would make a fabulous dominatrix… oh dear. That is a lovely thought…
Where was I? Oh yes: I guess the main thing will be whether you feel comfortable with it too, especially if you’re the sub in the relationship. Gotta work for both of you.
Age play is something I have not wanted to do and never will, it really is a major turn off for me.
That said I have nothing against those that participate in it, if they get enjoyment from it then it’s all good. I can understand how it can be fun as long as both parties are happy in that role play.
I have a little side. For me, it’s less about play as such and more about a state of mind. It’s very much akin to being a submissive in that way.
There are so many facets to age play though (as you’ve discovered) so it’s worth seeing if you can get him to open up more as to what sort of thing might interest him. And to definitely confirm that it is something he is interested in. His reaction suggests that it might be but sometimes these quizzes can throw up unexpected results as lots of kinks cross over.
Same with us. It’s something that’ll never turn either of us on, just a major turn off. But for some couples it really works for them, just as long as both of you are happy to play that role go for it. Try talking to him about it and find out what part he likes, and if he wants to act any of it out, and then figure out together what you’re both willing to do. Good luck
We are both switch, so I’m not sure if he wants the sub or dom role (or both).
I think googling was a bad idea as most things were quite extreme examples which freaked me out a bit and would be a firm no for me (e.g. the nappies and babying him or me), but some aspects I would at least try and see what they are like.
I’m going to try again to get him to open up later. He’s always very reserved about what he wants and likes, it takes a lot to get him to open up, and like @PleasureDrone said, I definitely think the taboo aspect of this doesn’t help!
Asked him once all settled for the evening, in as non threatening a way as I could manage. He got his back up and is saying he clicked it without thinking about it.
I’m not going to push it, if it is something he wants to discuss I’ve told him I’m not going to judge him so will just leave it and see what future discussions bring.
Something like Ageplay is always going to be perceived as one of the more “out there” desires by society, so there will naturally be a reticence to revealing that this sort of thing interests someone. But I’ve always said that so long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people, then what happens in the bedroom is that person’s business (and the person they’re with, ofc).
I suppose the only thing I could suggest would be to read more into it from informational sources and avoid the extreme/porn sites if you can, to get your head around it; then perhaps suggest something at the very lowest end of that spectrum and see how he reacts (e.g. baby talk, or strict nanny depending on which way he prefers)? It’s a subject I really don’t have any truck with in my personal life (I was married to a 40+ year old child, so I’m not keen to repeat the experience), but I do wish you the best of luck with it. x
Agree with @Sexterminator. There are kink encyclopaedias on the net that are very helpful for this kind of thing. I find mostly if i just google stuff cold i get the extreme end (trying to google femdom, is a good example of this. The stuff i tend to find is way too extreme for me and unhelpful in learning about it)
@WelshDragonette I think I would leave it there. He may have thought “school girl” but then realised that it could mean something more extreme.
If he doesn’t want to discuss that’s his call. X
