Anal and contraception advice needed, please?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So after a night of talking my OH and I have decided we want to start having sex without using condoms, but of course with me being on some sort of contraception.

It was a mutual agreement and we'd both suggested it happening later down the line not long after we first got together.

Anyhoo I was wondering what contraception you ladies and your OH's use?

I've always heard daft things like how the pill will make you gain weight, more hair, etc and quite frankly I don't want ANY of those things, plus my Mom is against any contraception other than condoms so I wouldn't want her to find any pills in my room and such. I know there is the coil, implant (don't really want that either tbh), injection etc.

If anyone has any good ideas, please let me know? I'm going to my doctor tomorrow and hoping they can help me on the matter. :)

Okay so we also agreed we both want to try anal after he was playing with my anus for a while and it felt really quite nice.

I've never trusted a guy enough to let him touch me there so when I allowed him to and it felt really nice, we came to the topic of giving it a go.

I think I know the standard procedure but I wanted to make sure that I'm right and that neither of us fuck it up, as I don't want to be left in pain or with any damage.

1. Douche self first (I own an anal douche already so that's okay).

2. Use a butt plug at first with OH to see how I feel about it.

3. If step 2. goes well, make sure to douche self again if it's a different occasion.

4. Put a condom on and make sure to lube OH's penis very well, as well as my anus.

5. Take it nice and slow, if it feels too painful stop and try again another time or throw in the towl and call it a day.

6. If it goes well the first time, try a little more each time, following from step 3. - 5.

Does this sound right? If not would anyone please recommend anything for us both to do? Or even things to buy from LH?

I have an anal douche as I mentioned before and the LH basic butt plug.

Hope this post wasn't toooooo long and boring and hope to get some help on this. :)

I'm a mixture of excited and nervous to try anal with him and he feels the same. :')

2

I've been on the injection and am currently on the implant. The downside to the injection is I gained a little weight on it but the upsides of the injection was I didn't have a period at all so no arguments here. I had 3 in a 9 month stretch and it took about 9 months after I finshed to have one. I'm now on the implant and for 2 seconds of pain I find that I'm more aroused and again total lack of periods so I'm a happy bunny.
With anal it sounds like you've got it all down to pat. Relaxation is the key, if you expect it will hurt you will tense and then it won't be as fun.
I know you want to use a condom for easy clean up but we don't use them as we find they tend to drag even with tons of lube then when we are finished we jump in the shower. Also during the build up we use various toys to stretch me.
With the douching don't over do it and wait a while as you may end up leaking. Make sure you go to the toilet before hand and above all have fun :-)

3

Regarding the anal: Yes that all sounds about right, but just one thing...Your anus will return to its normal tightness within half hour or so (Not a professional, but, from experience) and so while it is all great and good to practice with plugs and fingers etc for weeks, months (This will train your brain how to relax those muscles, to get over nervousness, and to "get used" to these sensations without clenching or nerves) I would still suggest douching, and then playing with a plug etc RIGHT BEFORE you are about to attempt anal sex, due to the whole "Bum tightening within half an hour if not being played with" thing I mentioned. So yes, before you actually have full anal, warm up for half hour or even more before hand with plugs, and this will help you a lot xx

4

I'm a little bit confused (but maybe I'm just being a bit simple!)...have you had vaginal sex yet?
If not, I would recommend getting comfortable with sex first, and taking time to discover what each partner likes/dislikes, before you move on to anal.
It's definitely best not to rush anal, because you both need to be 100% comfortable and relaxed.

As for contraception, if you are worried about the effects of the pill/hormones, I would suggest looking into the non-hormonal coil. I am currently on the pill, but considering using the coil instead because I have had bad experiences with hormones in the past (such as mood-swings and loss of sex drive).

Whatever you decide, discuss it with your partner to ensure you are both happy!

5

lillithlibby wrote:

I've been on the injection and am currently on the implant. The downside to the injection is I gained a little weight on it but the upsides of the injection was I didn't have a period at all so no arguments here. I had 3 in a 9 month stretch and it took about 9 months after I finshed to have one. I'm now on the implant and for 2 seconds of pain I find that I'm more aroused and again total lack of periods so I'm a happy bunny.
With anal it sounds like you've got it all down to pat. Relaxation is the key, if you expect it will hurt you will tense and then it won't be as fun.
I know you want to use a condom for easy clean up but we don't use them as we find they tend to drag even with tons of lube then when we are finished we jump in the shower. Also during the build up we use various toys to stretch me.
With the douching don't over do it and wait a while as you may end up leaking. Make sure you go to the toilet before hand and above all have fun :-)

I'd like to stray away from anything that could cause weight gain as I suffer from weight related issues and I think it would make me worse rather than better, if that makes sense? The implant does seem ideal, but the thought of having it cut out after three years really does make me cringe. My OH is a pharmacist and he mentioned how with certain contraceptions your period will stop (which I wouldn't mind) but when you would come off contraception it'll come back worse than ever... Which sounds horrible. xD

With the condom situation for anal my OH wants to use one because he's certain you can catch or start up an STD and he said it was gonorrhea but it's certainly not, you can only catch that if you have unprotected sex with someone who DOES have it. I've had all my tests done and I'm clean and so is he.

This isn't right is it? We wouldn't catch or pass each other any STD's if neither of us have any, right?

I was thinking a condom would make it more awkward when having anal sex for the first time due to the material and such.

I'd probably try and get him to come to my house when we tried it for the first time as it would be easier for me to douche whilst he'd be on his way (an hour in the car) and then that'd give me time to relax, be cleaned and ready etc.

6

Fluffbags wrote:

Regarding the anal: Yes that all sounds about right, but just one thing...Your anus will return to its normal tightness within half hour or so (Not a professional, but, from experience) and so while it is all great and good to practice with plugs and fingers etc for weeks, months (This will train your brain how to relax those muscles, to get over nervousness, and to "get used" to these sensations without clenching or nerves) I would still suggest douching, and then playing with a plug etc RIGHT BEFORE you are about to attempt anal sex, due to the whole "Bum tightening within half an hour if not being played with" thing I mentioned. So yes, before you actually have full anal, warm up for half hour or even more before hand with plugs, and this will help you a lot xx

Thank you for this bit of advice! I didn't actually know that the anus tightens itself again after that amount of time!

I wouldn't mind using my butt plug and his fingers before trying anal sex for the first time, as surely it would just help me to relax too and get myself prepared for his penis. :)

I mean I have used my butt plug before and it's a great starter one so I think using this during sex for a while might help too before we dive into the anal sex for the first time?

7

MissAnonD wrote:

I'm a little bit confused (but maybe I'm just being a bit simple!)...have you had vaginal sex yet?
If not, I would recommend getting comfortable with sex first, and taking time to discover what each partner likes/dislikes, before you move on to anal.
It's definitely best not to rush anal, because you both need to be 100% comfortable and relaxed.

As for contraception, if you are worried about the effects of the pill/hormones, I would suggest looking into the non-hormonal coil. I am currently on the pill, but considering using the coil instead because I have had bad experiences with hormones in the past (such as mood-swings and loss of sex drive).

Whatever you decide, discuss it with your partner to ensure you are both happy!

We have indeed, we've both been dating and having sex on a v. regular basis for quite a while now. :)

I'm really comfortable with him with sex, he knows what I like and I know what he likes, our sex life just seems to get better every other week and after an intimate session last night, we spoke about both of these things and obviously have decided we want to have sex without condoms and try anal sex with one another as we feel comfortable and such.

We are both anal sex virgins. xD

Ooo non-hormonal coil? Think I may have to go read up about that! Anything without hormones in would be ideal for me to be honest, as years ago with my ex when we considered me going on contraception to be doubley safe I heard about some non-hormonal contraceptives.

I'm going to go do some research now, thanks for all your replies so far. ^_^

8

I'm pretty sure you can't start up an std by having unprotected sex if you're both clean but its not a good idea to go from anal penetration to normal as you can get an infection. The same with toys etc. You set them aside to be washed first.
Weight issues are totally understandable but each one effects people differently. Talk to your doctor about it and they will steer you in the best direction.
Why is your mum against forms of birth control?

9

I used just condoms for years. Was fine, but now I just use the pill (with my long term partner). I've had no weight gain but I work out and eat healthy. It doesn't make the weight out of no where just can make you retain water I think and can make bad food stick on you. I'm not phrasing that very scientifically at all but you get me. My friends just had the implant out early she had horrible weight gains and mood swings! Everyone is different. The pill is in tiny boxes so unless your mum like stalks through your drawers she won't find it. I keep mine in my handbag. I've no side effects to do with hair or anything.

Anal - don't douche too often, it is addictive somehow and it's bad to always strip your natural oils up there (maybe not oils but you get me). Take it slow. I still use butt plugs and toys as warm ups to anal.

10

lillithlibby wrote:

I'm pretty sure you can't start up an std by having unprotected sex if you're both clean but its not a good idea to go from anal penetration to normal as you can get an infection. The same with toys etc. You set them aside to be washed first.
Weight issues are totally understandable but each one effects people differently. Talk to your doctor about it and they will steer you in the best direction.
Why is your mum against forms of birth control?

Definitely! I don't know if he meant that... Bless him. xD

I think it's because she has used most of them over the years and they've all given her a bad affect. Made her gain weight, gain hair in places she didn't want it, etc.

I'm having a look now and the IUD sounds good. :)

11

Bless ya. My mother taught me to never trust rhe pill, mostly because she had me and two of my siblings while taking it.
Hope you find something that works for you :-)

12

My OH says that there are quite a few issues with IUD and she says that often they don't like using IUD as contraception if you havent had kids. She suffered from heavier periods than normal for the three years that she used it. So heavy in fact that she would literally leak even using the heaviest pads and that they were always painful (in fact she experienced pain even when not on period from the IUD).

As a sidenote we can get a bit vigorous *sorry if TMI and we were both concerned that we might dislodge it or move it. Plus I experienced a few sore moments from rubbing against the strings that hang from the IUD.

ALTHOUGH there are quite a number of IUDs and the problems my OH had doesnt mean that you will too. But worth asking your Dr about them.

My OH has serious roblems with hormones so our Sexual health nurse suggested the NuvaRing. Unfortunately my OH is REALLY intolerant of hormonal contraceptives and although she had less problems with the nuvaring than any other form of hormonal contraceptive it turnd out I was slightly intolerant of it and ended up with tons of thrush and irratation so we now use good old condoms.

To summarise The merina coil or NuvaRing are things we'd suggest exploring as although they didn't work for us they do seem to work for a vast majority of women.

Hope this helps and good luck finding the solution :-D

13

I recently had the coil inserted and I'm having constant side effects. Back and abdo pain, acne, increased discharge, severe mood swings , decreased libdo. Apparently it can take 6 months for symptoms to settle. However these are the same symptoms I experienced with the implant for two years before I demanded it was removed. Hormonal contraception does not seem to agree with me but I do not trust myself and partner to use condoms as he hates them.
Although hormonal contraception seem to have negative side effects with me, alot of my friends have had great experiences. My advise would be to make an appointment with you dr or family planning clinic to discuss the different options available.
The copper coil is the method I wanted to try as it is non hormonal but two drs advised me not to get it as it can cause very heavy periods. Each contraception seems to come with some side effects, so I don't think there is a perfect one out there.

14

I meant to say the reason I have chosen not to take the contraceptive injection is that I want a long term contraception now I have children. The injection depo prova can lead to oestoprosis is older age of it is used as a long term contraception. It is a side effect that several of my friends where not told about when they started the injection, but if you google it you will see it is widely reported x

15

blonde vixen13 wrote:

I recently had the coil inserted and I'm having constant side effects. Back and abdo pain, acne, increased discharge, severe mood swings , decreased libdo. Apparently it can take 6 months for symptoms to settle. However these are the same symptoms I experienced with the implant for two years before I demanded it was removed. Hormonal contraception does not seem to agree with me but I do not trust myself and partner to use condoms as he hates them.
Although hormonal contraception seem to have negative side effects with me, alot of my friends have had great experiences. My advise would be to make an appointment with you dr or family planning clinic to discuss the different options available.
The copper coil is the method I wanted to try as it is non hormonal but two drs advised me not to get it as it can cause very heavy periods. Each contraception seems to come with some side effects, so I don't think there is a perfect one out there.

Me and the OH would suggest trying the NuvaRing. It is a bit more fiddly as its basically a hormonally discharging plastic ring that sits inside the vagina near the cervix but we were told of all the hormonal contraceptives its the least likely to cause symtoms if you are someone who has negative effects with hormones.

16

Thanks kinkydink. I'm going to give it six months to see if the symptoms settle. If they don't then I will get the coil removed and force the other half to get the snip!!!! Five kids ..... So I think his baby making days are over. I've done my share with the hormones and child birth, time he mans up and takes one for the team x

17

I'm going to be going to my doctors today to talk about contraception.

The IUD sounds rather scary after reading what you said Kinky Dink and Blonde Vixen. :| And when I was searching more about it online, a lot of women complain of the same issues. :S

I'm quite senstitive to some things anyway, so knowing my luck I'd get terrible symptoms to the IUD.

I'll have a talk to my doctor anyway and see what she suggests.

Thank you for all your help so far, you've been amazing! :D

Just the anal to get down to now. xD

18

Hi Little Lady - Just though I would mention to you a product that I use for anal. It is called RelaxAN and it is a spray that you use that makes everything more comfortable.

The great thing is that you really don’t loose any sensation at all - and there are no long-term effects. Nothing gets looser, so to speak - it just helps things to relax and not burn. I have posted a review on this item - see link below. If I am going to have anal sex or use a toy that is a bit larger - I totally swear by this product.

Hope this is useful to you both:) xx

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28767

19

Thank you Scorpius, that's a great help! I've heard of gels and sprays you can get for your bum before to help relax it and such so I'll look into buying this for sure. ^_^

Spoke to my doctor and he recommended the coil as he thinks it's more ideal to what I want, what symptoms I don't want and what would be more convinient... :D

20

i used the contraceptive patch i really liked that. just changed it once a week. don't have issues now tho' as other half had the snip.