Me and my boyfriend have been trying to have anal ever since I said I did it once with my ex. More and more lately it seems like we're really struggling to get him in, he has a wide-ish girth, about 5cm round at his widest bit and I think we've only got past the widest section once (it is close to his tip then tapers off at the base).
I enjoy anal and anal play but just keep tightening up or feel like I'm ripping, which I believe was caused by my ex doing it wrong and just general 'wear and tear', if you get me...
We've used Pjur's relaxing lube and it's brilliant and we've found me lying on my side makes it much easier to get in but I just hit a pain barrier, clench up and want to stop.. which I know I shouldn't do as it probably makes the discomfort worse. We have a dildo but that has a wide-ish base to the tip so that can be a bit of a shock when that goes in too.
Basically, I'm looking for any advice on what to do about this and any advice on which toys are we best using (especially girth related) or even tried and tested methods for getting past a girth issue. My boyfriend has never had anal and when I see the pleasure on his face, I get disheartened when I can't get him in. We are a very sexual couple and it's important to us both.
I have found the Liquorice Dip Butt Plug Triple Pack have worked great for me. The is small is 3.5cm around, medium is 4.5 and the large is 6cm so wotking through them should open you up enough.
I have found the Liquorice Dip Butt Plug Triple Pack have worked great for me. The is small is 3.5cm around, medium is 4.5 and the large is 6cm so wotking through them should open you up enough.
great tip. Also try a desensitising gel maybe? The lube is a good start though.
These are very good. I have the vannilla dip and worked my way up. I had the same problem at first and still do sometimes now. We found that during foreplay using the vannila dip and then putting him in didnt cause pain at all!
Also use hell of a lot of lube these can be usefull too!
Plenty of anal play before and lube and even using plugs first usually means it's easy for me. You have to be really relaxed and usually hubby uses the plugs on me while having normal sex and then we swap to anal.
I'd strongly suggest that you don't use anything that causes numbing or desentization with anal. If you can't feel then you aren't in control, you could do yourself harm and not even realize. If it hurts then you need to re-evaluate how you're approaching it because ultimately it should be something you're aiming to enjoy.
Pain suggests that you aren't warmed up enough and you might not be using enough lube. Maybe spent time using fingers to prime yourself before hand? If you're comfortable using your fingers, you can start gently with one finger, doing small circular or side to side motions with plenty of lube and then gradually work up to two and then three. That should be enough of a gradual increase to move onto something the size of his penis.
It might take some time to get used to and might be a few sessions before you can take your partner.
It sounds like this is really getting you down and the apprehension is making it worse. Plugs before anal worked for me. Starting off with something small and working my way up until I found what I felt was my limit. That helped me gauge what I was comfortable with. Also loads of lube; you can never have too much. Good luck xx
These are very good. I have the vannilla dip and worked my way up. I had the same problem at first and still do sometimes now. We found that during foreplay using the vannila dip and then putting him in didnt cause pain at all!
Also use hell of a lot of lube these can be usefull too!