Anal 'Disasters'?

Have any of you ever experienced anything embarrassing before/during/after anal sex? If so, what and how did both you and your partner respond?

The reason I'm asking is for my own reassurance if i'm honest. Even though i'm a huge fan of anal sex, the mess (if any) afterwards bothers me and before now I've said no to anal due to me worrying about this. My partner couldn't care less and his view is 'it can get washed off' and he's never done anything to make me think the way I do at times, he's always been amazing but I still feel embarrassed when there's anything there.

Hi Pigeon,

Please have a look at this thread that was posted yesterday. I think this will be helpful as it relates to your question :) xx

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/946994-anal-douching-and-condoms/

Thank you Scorpius12, I do have a douche but rarely use it as I find it uncomfortable and I wouldn't say people plan on when to have anal most of the time? Maybe I should just try another type of douche. x

Pigeon345 wrote:

Thank you Scorpius12, I do have a douche but rarely use it as I find it uncomfortable and I wouldn't say people plan on when to have anal most of the time? Maybe I should just try another type of douche. x

Hi Pigeon any man being given such a wonderful gift just doesn't even consider it.

It's also another good reason to use plenty of lube, I can't ever remember any mess.

yeah use a douche. Better than the mess on his cock. For real. Oh I wish my woman lets me :(

I had a little come out once, he'd decided to to just go in without any prep, I was pretty embarrassed but he couldn't care less. Anal is deffibately something you need to prepare for beforehand. Usually just go to the toilet and have a wash, I've never douched, don't like the idea

My hubby isn't bothered.
After he goes to bathroom and washes himself.

There was one time when there was a small amount of mess, but my hubby just laughed it off and had a wash. We both laugh about it now.

I had a few accidents before I knew there was such a thing as douching. It was super awkward at the time, absolutely, but I like to pretend I've matured since then. Anyone with the least bit of sense will understand, so I'd think it mostly bothers the one who has the spill. It really helps to do proper prep, even if "spur of the moment" sounds great on paper. You'll learn to stop worrying and enjoy it even more.

Young and fun95 wrote:

I had a little come out once, he'd decided to to just go in without any prep, I was pretty embarrassed but he couldn't care less. Anal is deffibately something you need to prepare for beforehand. Usually just go to the toilet and have a wash, I've never douched, don't like the idea

Yep this and after douching... It happened 2 months back for the first time and it embaressed the hell out of me (awkward moment but he didnt care), i still find it hard to relax during anal or play now.

Im not sure if id douche again, but the problem i get is im not super regular and its just a peace of mind. So yes, even if you douched before hand be sure you give it a few hours after before having anal sex as there can still be some mess.

I guess its the risk you take, most guys wont mind and will laugh it off.

I am a real clean freak and always douche before i do any anal sex, most men i have been with don't seem fazed by it though and always wondered why i went to such efforts to be clean.

I think it's something the reciever worries about most in anal sex rather than the giver.

I've had both men that couldn't care less, and will just go wash which is great as you begin to realise that if they don't care, why should you.

I've also been with guys that are too terrified at the thought of it to even go anywhere near that area, in which case sucks for them.

I think when you care about something you can be mature and realise that mess is a possibility, even with a good douching it can't be impossible, but then if you want to go there, if anything gets messy you just have to wash it off and ignore it. I don't think most guys even notice until afterwards, when they would be washing anyway.

Usually with enough silicon lube on the man, then nothing really sticks. After finishing inside my wife once, I pulled out and found a mess on the end of my penis, I just nipped to the loo, cleaned it off then carried on, she new nothing of it.

my wife does want to do ass to mouth though ?

I would never do ass to mouth and hubby agrees this is a no no with us

TonyStark wrote:

Usually with enough silicon lube on the man, then nothing really sticks. After finishing inside my wife once, I pulled out and found a mess on the end of my penis, I just nipped to the loo, cleaned it off then carried on, she new nothing of it.

my wife does want to do ass to mouth though ?

I dont mind ass to mouth, it really doesnt even bother me. I think id go as far to say its even less of a worry and never crosses my mind as much as anal.

The worries about mess are what's stopped me from ever trying! I'm far too paranoid as I have had issues in the past with urge incontinence and still have major gut issues. I don't think it's something I can ever overcome.

Like someone else mentioned already, I think the people who are totally squicked out by the idea of any mess, will avoid anal sex anyway, whereas if your guy is saying he is keen and turned on by anal, you can bet your bottom dollar he has considered the possibility at some point and decided that the possibility of mess is not off putting, compared to the arousal and fun of enjoying the experience. If that makes sense?

For my partner and I (me being female, him male) we actually indulge in pegging a lot. So, rather than me being penetrated, its him with my strap-on. I am aware about the possibility of mess and on a few occasions have experienced it, but I actually hide the fact from him, because I know he would be mortified and it would make him feel really on edge in future. I don't want him to feel that way. I have accepted it is possible and when it happens (rarely I might add) it doesnt bother me in the slightest.

To be honest, I think he feels the same way, when having anal sex with me. I mean, we have done it this way around enough that it must have happened at some point, but he has never mentioned it or anything. Maybe he hides it too lol. We have spoken about it and both of us say we are totally not bothered if it happens to the other, but when we imagine it being ourselves that made the mess, it feels embarrassing.

I guess its just one of those things. It is a possibility and theres not really any way to 100% guarantee anything so people who indulge do so knowing it is a possibility.

At the end of the day, its a confidence thing, usually with the reciever worrying about it more than the giver. I wouldnt say i was put off with any mess whilst giving anal to my girlfriend, but i've been on the recieving end of anal play and have to admit there's always that worry of anything bad happening. All you can do is prepare for it, and use lots of lube, that way if there's anything still in there, it won't stick!

Does remind me of the time (before i knew about douches) that i used a lucozade bottle though..![](upload://9xFhXP6neHrYtSJ6GTOlM10MIsf.gif)

I tend to worry about the mess if I know I haven't been to the toilet recently or if last time I did go it wasn't quite right (tmi) but I just tell my partner before we start and he can decide wether he wants to or not (Normally he does, and just pulls out after initial push to reassure me all is good!)

My most embarrasing moment was him acidently pushing terribly designed buttplug up there and him having to retrieve it lmfao
Compared to that, I don't worry about mess too much! haha

Never had any major anal disasters,though there was one time,quite a while ago when my then boyfriend was fingering my behind,without me being ''prepared'',so he said he had to go wash up at one point..felt pretty embarassed,but he was okay with it and even wanted to continue,lol.