Hello everyone. Recently my partner grew a new fetish. He put his finger in my arse when I am not ready (me not being douched) and masturbate at the same time. He goes really deep and gets really excited. I feel really embarrassed for not being clean but I don’t stop him seeing his excitement. I feel like he enjoys it even more when its not empty. he goes as deep as possible and he moves around his finger until he cums. Did anyone experience that? Honest answer please x
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I regularly use my finger in my wife’s bum and we regularly have full anal sex without douching or any preparation other than lubricant. No problems for either of us.
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Agree with @rockstar, obviously it’s cleaner if you douche beforehand but it’s hard to do bum stuff without there being some risk of a bit of mess. I’ve never experienced any problems being on either end of undouched anal play, just make sure you thoroughly wash everything inserted before putting said things anywhere else 
If you don’t like it, or it makes you feel uncomfortable (physically or otherwise), then you should say something. Just because he enjoys it doesn’t mean you just have to put up with it.
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I love it when hubby does it to me, I’m giving him a blowjob, when I felt something wet on my bum (he put lube on me) then I felt his finger go in, gradually he moved to 2 fingers going deeper, it was a nice surprise 
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I’ve never douched and never had a problem. Always made sure I’m really clean and had a bath. Never made a mess…unless I’ve just been lucky.
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@Ashley1234
It took me a look time to be comfortable with him in my ass but I’ve never douched.
He enjoys it, and I now enjoy it too.
The mess has never been enough to cause any issues, although I don’t let him near if I don’t feel ‘empty’ - just incase.
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It’s nice to hear that not everyone douches before anal, I used to but it just didn’t agree with me and I found I was having to guess when it might happen and turn him down when I hadn’t guessed correctly! Now I don’t worry about it, it hasn’t made any difference in my opinion except that we can now be more spontaneous. It has taken me a long time to get more confident with it though.
I wouldn’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with doing though @Ashley1234. If you don’t enjoy it or you feel uncomfortable, talk to him and ask him what turns him on about it - you might find it helps you to feel more confident about it if you understand his feelings better. You can tell him your concerns too and then decide together if it is something that you want to do.
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The wired part he enjoys most when its not empty! can you relete to it ?
We have just started anal play in the last few months and never used a douche. Never been any mess to speak of as we only do it when she is comfortable and empty.
Fingers and butt plugs have caused no issues so far.
I’ve not had any experience with that, sorry. Have you talked to him much about this? If it’s something you’re not comfortable with then you should tell him. If you’re both OK with it then that’s fine, but if you’re not happy then he needs to accept your feelings x
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I haven’t talked to him about that. I kinda enjoy seeing him super excited and his dirty talk. at the same time, I feel a little embarrassed by knowing it’s not empty. But so far no mess hasn’t happened.
If there’s no mess then I wouldn’t worry about that side of things. If you’re both enjoying the feelings then I would say talk to him, tell him that you enjoy seeing him excited but that you are a bit embarrassed, hopefully he can reassure you and you can enjoy it without the worry.
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If he is putting his fingers there I would say he knows what he is getting himself into. If it is well lubricated I find stuff does not stick to it very well anyways. Having a bag of wet wipes near your bed might be a good plan just in case. You could always ask him directly if he thinks he might have a scat fetish?
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If you haven’t agreed to it, then he shouldn’t just be doing it. Even if you think it might be something you would like, it should always be a conversation. Also, just because you agree to it once doesn’t mean you are agreeing to it every time.
I’d suggest having an honest conversation with him about how you feel about it and that you are happy to give it a try because you enjoy seeing him turned on, but you’d prefer to be prepared beforehand when doing it and might not be up for it all the time so sometimes you’ll say no. As others have said you definitely don’t need to douche, but if you feel more comfortable doing so then that’s absolutely okay. Ask him to check in before and during (which he really should be doing as a bare minimum) and feel confident in being honest, not just sticking it out because you can see he’s enjoying it if you aren’t.
Consent and communication are everything in sex!
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