Calling all anal veterins! While I’m not brand new to anal, I’ve not done it in many years and have lost my confidence. My new boyfriend likes it and I think I want to try again but I have some concerns. Firstly I’m worried it’ll hurt (I remember it hurting before). Secondly I’m worried I might poop on him!! How can I get comfortable, build confidence and actually enjoy anal? Open to all suggestions! Thanks
The key to enjoyable anal sex is to use plenty of anal lubricant (such as Maximus) and to take it slowly.
My wife was initially doubtful but willing to try so we started our anal play by using small non-intimidating toys.
After finding out that her orgasms were much more intense when she used a small vibrating butt plug during foreplay or intercourse she was happy to move on to more toys and then full anal penetration. Anal sex is now a regular part of our lives.
We have developed a routine which works well for us.
We start by using a lubricant syringe to fully lubricate her anal passage then we fit a small vibrating butt plug. After a nice session of foreplay she lies on her back with her hips raised on a wedge cushion to give a better angle for anal penetration. We always start with vaginal intercourse though and she often uses a clitoral vibrator so that she has at least one orgasm.
When she is relaxed and ready I lubricate my penis then remove the butt plug and slowly enter her anus. I move very slowly allowing her anal passage to adjust to each movement before going further. When I am in completely I begin to move very slowly then, when she is comfortable, I increase the pace gradually. Occasionall, in a long session, we may add a little more lubricant. She loves to use the vibrator during anal sex and often comes two or three more times before I finish. We prefer this face to face position as it allows me to see if she is in pain or discomfort and also allows her easy access with the vibrator.
I find that my orgasms are longer and more intense during anal sex due, I imagine, to the tightness acting in the same way as a cock ring or similar.
Poop is not a problem for us and, possibly due to the amount of lubricant we use, it very rarely appears. If it bothers you then you could use an anal douche before you begin.
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No suggestions but I'm following this thread for tips also as I'd love to branch out a bit more when it comes to anal!
I'm in a similar situation. While I have had anal sex before, I have always been a bit worried about the mess factor. I've been researching it, and have bought a douche and beginners butt plug to see how it goes. The YouTube videos in the buyers guide section put my mind at ease a little.
If your worried about the pooping thing then have one before you start. I go so far as to give myself an enema (to be extra clean, and tips on that are online somewhere too.), and try to relax, and don't be sparing on the lube. ;)
Just take your time and have fun. The more relaxed you are the easier it is!
It shouldn't be painful. Lots of blokes want to ram it straight in there because they've watched too much porn.
If you both take it very slow, take time finding what is comfortable and pleasurable, and prepare properly, then there shouldn't be a need for pain - but I would probably try toys and fingering for a while before you feel ready for penetration.
As for messiness: time it according to your regular bowel movements, and give yourself a quick douche a couple of hours before sexytime.
Its only normally painful when the guy just goes for it when you are not relaxed and ready.
I would say do not be scared but if you want to try it take it slow and get use to your own body first. Rockstars approach is bang on. If you are up for it get used to it solo first. Try touching your bum in the shower, lube a finger and stick it in you can then feel the muscles.. Get a begineers butt plug and try it solo and get used to feeling. Then introduce the stages rockstar suggested together. Expect it to take a while a not happen overnight.
Also the big thing is it doesnt hurt if done right but first few times it can feel like you need a poo when doing it or just slightly weird. Thats normal, you wont poo yourself it is just your body saying, "oh this feeling is normally associated with pooing". Thrusting makes it far worse, slow and stop any thrusting and feeling will stop. With practise it just goes away and over time feels more pleasurable.
and of course use anal lube and loads of it, on anything that goes inside, round entrance and squirt a bit up inside especially round sphincter muscle in your opening. at rockstar says if you can squirt a little up it helps
As for mess the risk is massively overstated, if you have had diahorea or to be pretty gross, a mucky bottom recently then yes there is a risk but if everything is normal and you had a poo hours before then you are pretty much low risk, the poop sits up in your colon, the rectums just where it comes out when you go.
We started off douching because of worry, now dont bother., just a wet wipe round bum hole and good to go. Never really see anything than the odd spot. My wife is squeamish, i am not but both suprised at lack of mess.
Good luck!
Looking forward to the potential of exploring this over the weekend. Plenty of play time in that area but basic play. Would be nice to try taking it to the next stage
As others have said, taking it slow works best. You also need to communicate with your partner all the time. He might need to be even more gentle, back out a bit, or maybe you want him to thrust further in.
Here are some products that might help you:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=40795 just recently tested this, but WOW!
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19842 lube applicators, like rockstar suggested
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/search/?q=relaxing relaxing gels
Hope this helps! =)
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Yeah it has to be nice and slow and helps if you have both cleaned out earlier. Gentle insertion the key. Got a couple of small butt plugs to start the intimacy. Perseverance helps and not banging in. Plenty of lube too.
I recently bought a butt plug for my solo play, I have to be very careful as I suffer with hemorrhoids and a fissure tear, but to be honest I couldn’t feel anything.
Great weekend away with a bit of toy fun in the anul department. Butt plugs. Would like to take it further but far to scared to. How do you progress from small toys to larger things.
I recently became curious about anal for solo play after I accidentally placed my bullet vibrator over my b-hole and had the best O I’ve had in a while. So I decided to read about anal masturbation and give it a try. When I tried it I couldn’t get it to feel good or even penetrate with my finger. Any tips? I did use lots of water based lube lube.
Being relaxed will help, as well as being turned on. If you like the feeling of vibration, maybe look at getting an anal safe one that you can use externally and then insert when you are comfortable.
Maybe focus some attention on your perineum
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Great tips. I’ll give it another go!