April here, I am Rescuer_89’s partner. He has told me about all the advice and other stuff that he has been getting on here. I have a couple questions containing to anal for the ladies here who do engages in that if you don’t mind sharing. I reasonly been thinking about having my boyfriend to do me anal and to finish there as well, but I am so afraid of the pain because he is not small if you get me. I’m also worried about making a mess as well.
How was it for you the first time you started?
Was it painful? and did you have your partner to finish in you there?
Well as a man, I do have a prostate, so in my experience it’s moderately pleasurable. But if you’re specifically looking for a woman’s knowledge of the subject, then I’d wait for more replies.
Take it slow, relax and prep. Work up to his cock with fingers etc.
It might be messy, can’t get away from that. There are ways to try and limit any potential mess, I’m sure others will provide more information around that (it’s 4.25am and my brain isn’t functioning well enough )
We’ve tried anal play, it tends not to be for me. I’ve had some jjoy with small plugs but that’s as far as it goes.
I do find it painful, my body also tends to stage a violent protest (I have genetically-predisposed irritable bowel syndrome) and I end up with stomach cramps and diarrhea after the fact, which, as you can probably imagine, is not my idea of a fun time. For me it just feels like reverse pooping. Not sexy, just… reverse pooping.
Tlall that said, there is something sexy about it, and I do tend to get quite wet from anal play. What it is? I don’t know. Like Marmite, you’ll either like it or you won’t
As others have said, prepare firet. Clean (usenan enema kit, lukearm water, no no soap) and nore lube than you think you need. Have fun.
I love butt plugs and fingers up my ass but lube is an absolute must. Got great advice here and last time my husbands cock was in there we took it really slow and I took charge. There was no pounding or thrusting from him and we kept reapplying lube. We were in a spooning position and I did the movements. It was devine and most of the time there was no movement and he reached around for some hard titty play. The feeling of fullness but so good and when he couldn’t hold it anymore he filled me with some nice warm cum. Definitely use butt plugs 1st and it’ll help stretch.
We tried it a few years back but both agreed that we preferred vaginal sex and haven’t done it since. I felt like there was too much preparation to be spontaneous (which is normally how our sex starts lol) and it was definitely uncomfortable the first few times. Someone mentioned “reverse pooping” above which is a good description haha Glad we tried it so we know but yeah, definitely not for us.
I think that sometimes it’s just a matter of how your body is. I haven’t had any issues with anal, even with big ones, but as other say it can be painful. Lube seems to help quite a bit. I don’t know if it can be trained, but foreplay to get relaxed and excited can help relax the anus so that it can stretch. Getting a finger in the ass, and then two and so on before anal sex will also help. It can be a bit dirty sometimes, but completely worth it for me and the guys I have done it with. At the end of the day, it’s all about enjoying it. You can try different things like how deep he goes, different positions, how hard the pounding is or if you want to take it slow, the rhythm, who is in charge… and see what you like. Also notice how your body reacts when you try different combinations: if you feel like moaning, if it hurts, if your legs shake, if you get wet… If done right and he hits the right spots, I can squirt just from anal, so it’s all about finding what makes it work for you.
Dont think that you will be able to take him straight away (the same day, week or month) some women on the forum have taken years to be able to take their partners cock.
For me it was a traumatic experience, though there was no preparation or lube or consent. It was extremely painful and i bled a lot. So if you decide to go ahead take it slow, use butt plugs with a t bar to start (so it does not disappear up your butt) with plenty of lube and work your way up the sizes.
I have not done anal with my husband as for me my experience was just too bad and i have scarring that makes it too difficult for even a butt plug now.
My first anal wasn’t great, hurt too much. The guy (not my now husband) didn’t lube me well enough and take the time to get me relaxed and comfortable. It put me off for a while.
Then, I really wanted to do it for my now husband, so in order to force myself to do it, I offered it to him. And he was the exact opposite, built me up slowly, toys galore, got me relaxed, lubed by the gallon and wow, what an experience.
So, toys to get used to having the back door filled, lots and lots of lube and getting you relaxed, especially to the idea of having things in your ass.
You won’t regret the patience and hard work. Anal is mind-blowing when done right.
I really feel sorry for women like @Wood-Nymph, who has a really really bad experience, and that has put a block on it. I totally understand why, and I hope one day you get to a point that you can experience how wonderful anal is.
Although this is really unsexy, knowing and understanding your bowels and bowel movement really helps with anal sex. There isn’t a way to guarantee that you will never get any mess but how likely that is does depend on the frequency and consistency of your bowel movements, along with whether you go straight to the toilet when you feel the urge or if you tend to wait. Translation, harder stools that you pass quickly tend to leave less mess behind. If you need to, increase the fibre in your diet gradually (suddenly jumping up on fibre will have a different affect!)
In terms of pain, anal shouldn’t hurt. The anus can stretch larger than you think without you even really noticing. If your partner is on the girthier side, you made need some warm up first. However, the problem is often more in the mind than in the butt. If you are worrying about it hurting, you will tense up and that will cause pain. You need to be as relaxed as possible. Having an orgasm first can really help (unless you are a one and done person, and having an orgasm switches off all your horniness). Also vibration helps relax muscles, just be careful what you use, make sure it is anal safe, even if you aren’t planning to insert it; small toy + lube on anus and/fingers can lead to accidents!
There are some relaxing lubes available which can help, but make sure it is just a relaxing one and not a numbing one.
Choose a position you are comfortable in, and you be the one moving. Take it as slow as you need and go from there.
Just try not to overthink it too much. People build anal up to be some massive thing, and outside of the potential mess element, it really isn’t.
April here: My partner has just started paying a little more attention to that area because I have asked him to especial when he is giving me oral. He has been using his tongue and now his fingers too and like you I am finding myself becoming more wetter and wanting more.
I wanted to reply to say that anal sex doesn’t need to be painful, even the first time. I enjoyed it from the beginning and never had any pain. If it hurts you’re not ready, not using enough lube or inserting the toy / penis too fast.
What Calie said about bowel movements is spot on. Not sexy but important! You can use a douche before hand but have found this uncomfortable, unnecessary and it has caused more problems than it solved; it also takes away the spontaneity.
I would start with small butt plugs with lots of lube and work up in size. Make sure you’re turned on (you’ll be more relaxed) and take it very, very slow! If it feels painful stop and try again another time.
The weirdest but most helpful advice I was given is, as you insert a toy or penis, relax your anal muscles as you would when going to the toilet, it feels like you’re pushing out, again, not sexy but really helpful!
I found anal sex with my husband very pleasurable and it’s something that we do mainly for my pleasure rather than his.
Finally, don’t feel like it’s something you should do if you don’t want to. It’s ok to say no.
April Here: Wood-Nymph, I am very sorry to hear about your experience that you had with anal. Hope you are doing ok. My heart goes out to you and all others who have had similar. My partner won’t even let me touch there due to he was raped way long before we met, so I just stay away from that area with him.
April Here: I really appreciated all the advice and knowledge that everyone has given me. It gives me to think about as well to go on. I do want to say that as he been giving me oral there when he go down on me. I had him to try to insert a finger and as he was doing so it started becoming painful. I am very tight there and he also knows that I am because I let him know that before he started inserting one of his fingers, so at this moment he can’t even get a finger in without it hurting.
April Here: I get what you are saying because my boyfriend won’t even let me go near him there. He tells me that some day he might but as for now it’s a big no no.
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Glad we tried it so we know but yeah, definitely not for us.