Hi I am in need of a little bit of advice. Sorry if this has been discussed before but I can't find anything in other threads.
I have a fantasy about using a strap-on to fuck my partner. We have discussed this and he has agreed to give it a go. To ease him in gently to anal play we bought the basics slimline butt plug and the basics anal beads. My partner has used them a couple of times alone and says he doesn't feel any discomfort with them however, he does loose erection once the toys are in place.
Obviously for me to use a strap-on he doesn't need to have an erection but he was wondering if there was anything he could do to stop his erection going as a result of anal play?
He has had a problem previously with erectile dysfunction and so we have bought cock rings and pumps etc but he was wondering is it common when using anal toys for a guy to loose his erection?
Hi Beximo. This is absolutely normal to loose his erection once he has something in his butt as the sensations can be quite overwhelming and distractive to still maintaining an erection. This does not mean that he cant ever have an erection while enjoying anal but just that it is the way his body is choosing to work at the moment. Personally, when I'm enjoying the more extreme anal from my wife with either the larger or deeper toys my erection never maintains but I'm still enjoying the pleasure and do still enjoy her playing with my cock and especially if she gives a bj at the same time. The thing with anal is that he wont need a full erection to cum and will still have extremely intense orgasms.
If I'm having a solo play with a plug etc I can sometimes lose the erection but haven't had that issue if my wife is pegging or fisting/dildoing me but then the levels of arousal are that much higher. One thing to think about is that with pegging often when you ejaculate then some pressure needs to be eased off so that you shoot rather than dribble. Being milked whilst being fisted is an amazing experience. Have fun.
Thank you for the replies :)
I haven't yet joined in with him when he has played with the anal toys as he likes to try new things by himself at first as he has ever been as adventurous as I am.
Your replies are good to hear and I will keep it in mind :D
It's a shame to say it but when my oh goes to town on me I uave difficulties keeping it up.. But I still make a massive load when cum. The erection will come and go during the time but the pleasure stays no matter what
Yep, erection is not essential for orgasm or ejaculation. I like to have things up my bum, but despite loving the feeling I don't think I've ever stsyed properly hard, and now I'm having trouble keeping it up generally, it's even more difficult. But I have ejaculated from having anal though it wasn't a normal male-type orgasm.
There are no rules - if you like it, do it, If you don't, try something else. What matters is what works for you (and your partner, unless it's a solo session ...).
Although we have been pegging for over 15 years we only just thought of the solution to this - a cock-ring. The middle one in this set works fine for me:-
Maybe its best to just not worry about it for now? Theres always time to make him cum after youve finished with the anal toys. As you both get more used to it then maybe he will find he can keep his erection.
I rarely maintain an erection when she is pegging me. But my OH has found she can milk me repeatedly, which she rather enjoys. Consider it just a new angle to your sex life, and perfectly normal. Enjoy!
Thank you all for your replies. This has all definitely helped and is all very positive and encouraging. I am looking forward to experimenting and trying everything out :)
Gyrator mentions using a cock ring. I use one just because I enjoy it and it does make your erection bigger and the head shiny purple which my wife likes, hadn't thought about the maintaining erection in relation to anal play so sounds like you should try it as well.
A ring has certainly become part of our pegging play now. I don't think I could tell directly if I was hard or not such is the level of sensation in pegging but we like to use a face-to-face position and my going limp certainly puts my wife off her otherwise immaculate stroke (which in turn distracts me slightly - I wouldn't want her to think for one second her efforts were not fully appreciated).
By the way that set of rings I mentioned is fast becoming my second favourite toy (after my wife's Share XL dildo of course). I find the large one a great fit behind the balls, really effective and totally comfortable soft or hard.