sorry if this topic puts people off ,
when me and my partner are having anal it hurts me like I’m in a lot of pain even though we use a lot of lube, am I /are we doing something wrong, I’m not sure if it is the position, I would class ourselves as beginners in the whole anal department. my question is does it hurt anyone else? any tips welcome please
the positions we have tried are doggy and me laying on my front , we can only try limited positions
Are you taking it slow so that you can stretch and get used to it? It shouldn’t hurt but it can feel like there’s some pressure.
He can’t just slide in like V penetration, it needs to be little bits at a time and it will help if you’re relaxed and use a butt plug to start off with.
Try with you backing onto him, instead of him doing the pushing into you, that way you control the speed and the depth.
Also don’t do anything that you don’t enjoy.
Ty a but plug or dildo to get used to opening up and then it should be easier when it’s time for the real thing
Lube can be a good friend
I can’t say anymore advise than what jocat has said.
But with us, I started with using butt plugs at first, starting off small with working my way up to bigger sizes.
And when we started to do anal, we started off with the spooning position. Personally I found that position easier for him to enter me, I backed on to him, so I can take control of it. And once he’s fully in me and I’m comfortable, we move into the hard press position.
recommend on your side and using a dildo smaller than him with plenty of lube for starters, we too are newish (or rather successful on a revisit after many years!). I find some clitoral stimulation at the same time helps me to relax a bit more too. Give it a rest for a while and then ease into it gently (you might have a haemorrhoid or something up there that needs a wee bit of recovery too).
we have tried doing it slowly but still hurts to be honest iv never tried anal until my current partner and its always hurt, we will try doing some of your suggestions and hopefully fingers crossed it wont hurt as much x
thankyou will try these x
thankyou will try this 
don’t rush!
I wont I will definitely take my time
Just have a session with only butt plugs, starting small with no penis involved and see if you still have pain.
Hey
I find, having a few orgasams first really helped me be in the zone for anal.
Lots of foreplay, and then I’d slip a butt plug in and lube and make sure I’ve had a few clit cums there my favourite, and then my mind and body are ready.
No rush, slow and steady. X
If you don’t really have much experience with anal play you should definitely start out slow and small like a finger or small butt plug. Lube is always your friend and if you think you are taking slow, cut that speed in half.
It took a while for my partner and I to figure out the best method for us for anal sex and with some research and a lot of different positions we decided that the reciever being on top and being able to slide themself down at their own speed and depth works very well for us and allows the reciever to relax and move to other positions after.
Hope this helps!
If youre comfortable taking a looong time with it try rubbing the head of the penis gainst the anus for some time first. Then once his juices are all over you your body may have relaxed a bit and start to slowly allow entrance on its own with no force. I strongly advise sexplanations on youtube as a helper video they have great vids on anal xhttps://youtu.be/Sp9MT1di9as
Another thing that could help (like others have mentioned) is using smaller toys.
But with a twist. Most anal enthusiasts have a small plug they lube up and put in in the shower.
The bigger the end goal toy, the more “stepped up little toys,” they do this with until they are not only pre stretched but pre-lubed as well.
This is what I do, and it always puts my mind at ease because I know that there is no “uhoh what if it’s gross factor,” and to worry about as well. That’s always my biggest fear.
Some other tips that might help. And also might sound counterintuitive. When you’re being entered don’t tighten at all.
The more you tighten the more it will hurt. This may sound gross but it’s a visual you’ll understand when you read it.
If you “push” like you’re using the bathroom (lightly, not with all your effort 
), it’ll actually make your anus not only relaxed, but “opened.”
As many others have said it’s an inch at a time process or it’ll hurt. Unless you’re pre-stretched and pre-lubed.
Just know that the deeper/bigger you go, the slower you need to go until it’s totally comfortable. Too fast too big too hard will always equal pain. Pain is not what you’re supposed to feel.
If you feel pain, slow down, take time to acclimate (and you literally can acclimate to any “size” but not all “depths.”)
Maybe do some Reddit research with videos to see the outrageously huge long things people can put inside themselves at the same time.
It’ll blow your mind. There’s one German Woman who’s pretty much the undisputed size queen. To the point it’s gross. But. Let’s just say we are talking baby sized (and shaped), dildos with cantaloupe sized sex toys as well as more than one of each at a time that she pops out. Like I said it’s gross, but it proves my point that there is no limit I once you’ve broken certain anatomical barriers.
There’s one guy that’s equally famous that I’ve talked to, he daily takes 22-30” plus sized “horse dildos.” I asked him how he got to that point and he said with a lot of practice. And that quote “He’s pretty sure if an x-ray was ever taken of his intestines it would be a straight line to his stomach.”
This is obviously an exaggeration he’s stated, but a funny one, nonetheless. As the small intestine is almost 2 feet long and the large intestines are around 5 feet long. But I still don’t understand how he’s managed to navigate all those internal twists and turns to just slip them right in with little to no effort. And neither does he other than lots of practice. And very long flexible skinny anal toys to “lay the groundwork,” to taking bigger longer harder toys.
If you’re having sharp pains no matter how much preparation you do in advance you could have certain medical issues internally that you might want to get checked.
If it’s short into the entry point, you may have hemorrhoids. If you do you’ll normally see bright red spotting.
If it’s dark black (like dried blood, or a sticky tar like residue), it could be a few different things. And those I would advise you to be checked by a doctor for sooner rather than later. Polyps. Fissures. Tears. And even cysts can be lining your anal canal that are all not normally there and should be checked.
If there’s no blood, then it’s probably just a case of taking it much slower/with more pregame preparation, and the more foreplay you get the better off you are.
Just like with Vaginal penetration, only the inexperienced go “straight for the goal.” So. Have your partner “Play, tickle, kiss, and tease you first,” and this will also relax you a lot. The general colloquialism is, if it’s winking at you, it’s ready for more than just foreplay.
The anus has a whole lot of nerve endings in it that most people never feel the wonder of. You’ll see that it’s incredibly pleasing with no penetration if your partner tickles, rims, touches, kisses etc. After all that has been done you’ll probably be like most people and actually desirous of being penetrated.
Generally speaking the side spoon position is best so that you are in control of the speed depth force etc rather than the penetrator as they simply aren’t able to feel what you are inside your own body.
I hope some of this helps you.
And the last word of advice I can give you that may be the single most helpful. Play with a toy by yourself in the shower so you not only learn what it’s supposed to feel like. But what you actually like as well.
Every one is different. If you find out your “style,” by yourself when you’re in complete control. You’ll be able to direct your partner to giving you what you like, while they get what they want at the same time.
And that eases the apprehension of vulnerability of neither knowing, nor being in control of the vulnerable environment you may be feeling you’re in during these conversations.
In my experience, it’s as much mindset comfort level as it is physical comfort level that matters. This is definitely a good way to remove the mindset “discomfort,” level and give you the confidence to enjoy the experience with your partner.
Hope some of this has helped. Don’t give up on it. There’s all kinds of amazing things that can “come” as a result of a willingness to explore this part of your body that you’re completely not expecting.
Taking time, going slow at first.
For me, anal hurts…and it is supposed to. I like it that way, and I don’t use a lot of lube. But it isn’t for everybody, and each person’s nerve endings are unique. If anal doesn’t work no matter what you try, you don’t have to keep doing it!
I, Mrs B, love anal whether it be tongue, fingers, toys or cock. Anal sex does hurt me and I don’t ever want that to stop as that is why I do it. I get immense pleasure from the pain and the affects of it for days afterwards remind me what a wonderful time I have with Mr B 
For me, the enjoyment and success of anal is 99% mental. If I’m turned on before hand and truly wanting it then anal is great and not at all painful (though still with a slow and gradual start to get used to the stretched feel each time).
If I’m not feeling it, it doesn’t matter how gradual or how much lube there is nothing is going in without pain because I’m too tense. Therefore, for me, it’s about the foreplay and being turned on and wanting the anal sex before getting there, if you do, hopefully you’ll have your first great anal experience and after that it will be easy.
For us, it certainly doesn’t stay slow and gradual, but it does start that way for the first few minutes.
I’ve done anal sex with many partners in the past and have never found it hurt with lube and sometimes even with out it.
When me and my current partner got together we went to try anal sex and oh my god it bloody hurt, so bad we couldn’t even continue.
We tried so many positions and just felt we were getting know where with it.
My partner is on the large side and I really think that’s why we had the problems we had.
What helps for us is starting of with a good anal water based lube. We use discover lovehoney or Liauid sick and use plenty of it. We start of with a butt plug, my favourite being the glass lovehoney one and we use that for at least 10 mins. Then he very slowly enters me and gradually enters more over time. I would be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt after. Yes it still hurts but no where near as much if we follow these steps. We both still enjoy it but it just takes its time.
Me and the husband are beginners in Anal, I have found that I find it more enjoyable to be in the spooning position and to take it nice and slow and to use plenty of anal lube.
I have found that you do need to make sure you are relaxed otherwise you may find it makes anal play uncomfortable for you.