High I'm an anal virgin but am about to change this can't Waite any good advice as I want this to be really good sex with my partner
Hi , I'm an anal virgin too, but I do suggest to get your bum muscles relaxed not to tense up and to take things slow. I heard many stories of how people go too fast with anal sex and tends to get painful. I also suggest using loads of lube, using flavoured lube even better to boost that type of sex in the bedroom. I hope that helps
Hi thanks for the reply sounds good advice do you think butt plugs would be a good starting point
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/an-overview-of-anal-sex-toys/
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/anal-sex-toys-beginners-guide/
Have a look at the links above.
Best advice I have take it nice and slow , lube lube lube , start off small and dont get eyes bigger than your belly .
LH have a great buyers guide -http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/
I started off with http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13085
Then got a butt plug so you are used to slipping something inside you - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 or you could buy a kit and work your way up - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
I then got a douche - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 dead easy to use and simple and makes you clean esp when your using bigger toys as I worked my way up to an anal dildo to get to used to the fact that he will be inside me - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726
Then I brought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072 to get fill what it will be like,
Honestly try it slow if you enjoy it you enjoy it its not for everyone, dont put any pressure on yourself slow and lube it taken me about 6 months to work my way up, just taken it at my own pace.
Well use fingers first then use butt plugs defo cause it will help get into the mood and makes it more comfortable when penetration happens. Also when you both pleasure each other with one of you with a butt plug it will help get good results. But one last advice is always open up verbally to your partner of what you like or if there's anything you don't like.
Hi everyone thanks for some good advise will try all your suggestions as we want it to be a great experience for both of us as my other partner wants to try anal as well which sounds great we can't wait to get started
Could anyone also tell me if it's ok to use silicone lube with rubber dildos as heard reports about using the wrong lines wit your toys and don't want to ruin ours as there precious toys as you can imagine
Water based I believe is the way forward with those.
Good luck with your adventure, we're in a similar boat to you at the momemt. We've done fingers, a plug, but no joy at full penetration yet.
All the advice so far on this thread looks excellent.
I've written a post on this before, maybe there is some information in here you might find useful:
Anal sex is something where everyone has their own preference and way of doing things. For beginners, the most important thing is to TAKE IT SLOWLY. The anal passage is a very delicate area and must be treated with utmost respect.
Step 1: Preperation.
If you feel comfortable to explore anal play, you may wish to consider a little cleaning down there. There is a lot of controversy as to whether 'douching' has any real benefit, other than instilling a sense of confidence. We all know it's a 'dirty' place, but after a bowel movement, the lower colon is usually very clean - so a shower before hand, and washing the area with just some warm water would usually be sufficient. If you wish to go a bit further and clean a bit more internally, then may I recommend the Basix Anal Douche (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952). It's perfect for beginners as it's nozzle is small. Carefully fill the douche with warm (but not hot, or cold) water. Never use any kind of soap, as these can cause irritation and discomfort. Do not overdo it, as you risk flushing out all of the good stuff in your gut that helps keep your colon happy and healthy. Check the video here for more information about Douching (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-use-an-anal-douche/)
Step 2: Lubrication/De-sensitizing
I cannot stress the importance of a good lube enough. A good anal lube should be relatively thick, as this makes entry smooth. There are many good anal lubes available, and a good one that I use is Sliquid (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13181) - but use whatever you feel comfortable with. With regards to de-sensitizing/numbing - i'm on the side of the fence says that don't do it, unless you do find it really painful. The trouble with numbing gels is that if you use too much or don't use it correctly, you can end up doing more damage as you can't feel what's going on (believe me, I found this out the hard way! Having to sit on a rubber ring in the office for a week was no laughing matter!). But if you feel it might help, then you can find lubes that have a slight numbing effect that might make it easier for you. But this leads me on to the next step.
Step 3: Start SLOWLY and small
You certainly don't want to start with anything bigger than a finger. Your body will naturally want to stop things from going up there, and if you force anything too big up there, you will be in agony (again, I speak from experience). The best thing to do, is to first of all, make sure there is lots of foreplay. You want to be completely relaxed and aroused. If you are anxious, nervous, uncomfortable, then it will be a painful (and regrettable) experience. Start off with a nice bath, then maybe have him give you a nice all over body massage with a nice sensual oil. When you feel ready, have him apply some lube to the area and begin by just slowly teasing the area. Make sure he doesn't go full insertion straight away, just take it slowly. Gradually, let him work his finger all the way in. And then let that be it. Like with many things, Anal requires alot of patience and for lack of a better word, 'training'. Once you feel comfortable with fingers, you may want to consider a butt plug. These are a little bit bigger than a finger, but still smaller than a penis or a dildo. You can begin by letting him put it in you, whilst he pleasures you orally to help enhance the sensations. Again, don't rush it, take it slow. After a few sessions like this, the area will become more receptive, meaning you can start to go for something bigger.
Step 4: Remain in control at all times.
The best position for starting anal (for most people) is with you on top. This allows you to control how deep he goes. I personally recommend this to anyone. I had an all to terrifying experience where I was not in control and I was injured and it wasn't fun! Trust me! Slowly lower yourself onto him - if it hurts - stop. Allow yourself to relax and then continue. If this proves to be comfortable, then you can try other positions. Doggy is also a good position, and allows for clitoral stimulation (I guess the only way I can describe it is a 'reach around' if he was to hold a vibrator a massager against the clitoris as he's inside you).
REMEMBER:
Don't rush into it all at once. You need to make sure you are prepared, comfortable and if at any point anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal sex can be an amazingly intimate experience for all parties, but it requires trust, communication and patience.
I'm sure other members will probably have other good ideas and tips as well, and i've probably missed something, but remember - everyone has their own way and knows what feel good for them - the best thing to do is to experiment, but take it slowly and carefully.
I wish you the best of luck!
Hi David b 1986 thanks for your reply some good sound advice which we will put into practice it's great having a forum like this as it's good to get feed back and advice from other members who have had these experiences and can share info with like minded people thanks again
Hey Masterbator, great to hear you're about to embark on the pleasures of anal sex!
DavidB1986 has given some sound advise and I second what he's posted.
Personally I use water-based lube for anal as I've found silicone (whilst it does last longer betweena applications) doesn't give quite the right amount of 'slide'.
You've mentioned the possibility of butt-plugs and yes, these are a good way to get used to working your anal-muscles. However it is always prudent to start off with fingers and take it as slow as you can just to coax your muscles to relax.
A good method I've adopted is to take slow, deep breaths and when you breathe in, hold your finger/toy steady and on the exhale slide it in a little further - rinse and repeat.
Remember, you should be the one in control so ensure your partner is fully aware of this. It needs to be done in your own time until you are comfortable with being penetrated. Don't rush it and if it hurts or becomes uncomfortable, stop, re-apply lube and try again.
But most of all, have fun with it. It can be a very pleasurable thing. :)
Thanks for all the info everybody will take it all on board and try all your suggestions we have started to explore and are enjoying so far feels amazing so far and can't Waite till we can get to full penetration but the anticipation is a real turn on
loits of time and lube and a lot of communitcation. The first few times I've done anal weve generally done it in the missionarry so he can see my reactions
looking to start experimenting with anal this evening, quite excited, any advice?
When I first tried anal, it was a horrid experience - no-one's fault, just not properly aware of what the differences were from 'normal' sex. Went far too quickly with no preparation.
I then tried it with another partner and found that latex (or equivalent) gloves - like the ones used in medical exams, etc. - are a really good texture and help smooth over nails when fingering anally (even trimmed nails, which I would recommend, can catch sometimes). I swear by them now. They're also good if you've got any little nicks in your fingers that you want to keep clean and whatnot.
That, and I find (although this may be personal preference) that the in-and-out motion you may be used to in 'regular' fingering can get uncomfortable - more of a stroking motion once you're deep can be better. But again, that might be just me, I'm not all that experienced.
Your best bet is to relax, communicate what's good and what isn't, and lube up like you've never lubed up before, I'd say!
With anal sex the maxim is "Practice makes perfect"
Start off by experimenting with a 12 inch double ender. These are usually one inch thick and about the same thickness as a BM.
Wait until you can get this into yourself without pain before trying with a penis.