Avrielle_Aniko wrote:
Hi. Yes, anal can feel wierd to begin with. The anus is used to pushing things out rather than allowing things in and for some people, it can take longer to get the sphyncter muscles used to that new sensation.
But fear not, there are some things you can do to help the process along.
Solo experimentation
You can try experimenting just on your own by inserting a finger inside and getting yourself used to it. Go slowly, use lubricant and begin by just rubbing and stimulating around the outside of the anus before attempting to enter. Be sure to trim fingernails beforehand as scraping can be nasty.
Use Lubricant
Lube is essential for anal play. It reduces friction which can cause the muscles to tense up in response. It greatly reduces risk of tearing or damage and makes things glide along making for far easier entry.
Relax
Easier said than done right? But relaxing the anal muscles is not easy to do on command as they tend to work and tense on their own. A swig of scotch may help, but having a nice bath beforehand will have better results. Make sure the room you are in is not too cold, as you are more likely to tense up when your feeling chilly. A massage may help, or just chilling out before hand.
Ease in to it
Don't try to dive straight in. Take your time. Work together to get you aroused, and then use your fingers to lightly rub or massage the area around the anus. A nice spot is the smooth bit of flesh between the anus and the vagina and can really help to relax the sphyncter muscles. Again, don't forget the lube! It really does help!
Desensatizing Lubes
These are available on the market, but I strongly advise against them. Many contain some form of topical anesthesia, such as lidocaine or benzocaine to create a numbing effect. The big problem I have with these is that pain signals are there for a reason, in if you feel discomfort or pain during anal, then you should slow down or stop entirely as the anal walls can easily be damaged, causing bleeding or worse. If the pain signals are numbed, then you may not be quite so aware and cause damage without realising. Pain signals need to be closely monitered during anal play especially since there are not as many nerve endings inside the anus. So I advise against desensatizing or 'easing' lubricants, gels, sprays or creams.
HOWEVER some people have extra difficulty with the sphyncter muscle contracting and tensing causing entry to be very difficult. If other things I've mentioned above don't work then you may want to try something designed to relax the muscle and ease entry. But avoid products that contain anesthetics. Lovehoney list the ingredients of all their lubes and gels, etc on their product pages.
I would recommend the Pjur Anal Comfort Spray which is Lidocaine and Benzocaine free, and uses an ingredient which helps the skin around the anus become more elastic and supple, helping the muscle to relax.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17608
There is also this lubricant from Pjur which uses natural ingredients to provide a relaxing effect. It is silicone based lubricant though, so should not be used with silicone or 'realistic feel' sex toys, but are safe with condoms and latex. But silicone lubricant is much more slippy and care should be taken not to slip too far at once during penetration which can be a bit.. Er... Shocking! But again, this contains no anesthetic/numbing ingredients.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15092
Hope this helps you. Xx
This is excellent advice, you can never have too much foreplay and this applies to anal as much as anything else. The anus needs to be aroused, and so do you. I would only add that some people find it helpful to use a vibe in working up to penetration. Take your time, it may take several weeks to gradually work your way up to full intercourse, but it's well worth it and hopefully you will enjoy the process.