Any help would be great

Trust your wife! She obviously loves and respects you. You have a wonderful wife. I think it sounds like a great idea for the texting thing because it will get the ball rolling. My husband and I hadn’t had PIV in a year and I realized I had to take charge because it was me putting the brakes on due to stress, anxiety and depression. I knew he was waiting for me and I wanted to take the leap :smirk: you’ve got this! Our sex life exploded back in June and it hasn’t stopped, I’m so glad I got everything going again because our relationship is so much better now.

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She really is an amazing person :blush: and has been super supportive about it all , I’ve just been a big chicken I think :thinking:… I no now that I need to be less serious :face_with_monocle: about it all and relax thanks again for taking time out of your day to reply :pray: and fingers crossed we can head the same direction as you and your partner :heart:

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So glad you are feeling better and on the other side now! Others have had great suggestions, I’ve found after any period of time has passed then that first time is quite nerve wracking even if it’s only been a week…. One fellow overthinker to another? :joy::wink:
Throwing all our tricks in at once for that first session back usually only overwhelms us so once you have established with your wife that you want to get back in to sexual intimacy I’d maybe suggest to her that you’d like to keep it low pressure at first to see how you go after your injury and it sounds like she’s lovely enough she would be fine with that.
Once you’ve got a few sessions down and you’re keen to spice it up that’s when I’d start looking at different positions or toys and the like!
All the power to you, and good on you! You have totally got this.

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@WeeArnie69 One of my partners has seizures…not epilepsy exactly, but lingering effects of a brain injury from a car accident years ago. She is also blind in one eye, and has some hearing damage. But she leads and energetic life and is actually really great in bed. Beyond that she’s an amazing mother… 10 kids so far!

I get that it can affect your confidence, but beyond that your “performance” should be OK. Just get back into things slowly. Your physical struggles don’t limit your spirit, and your wife is there to love you and be with you. Many people’s partners leave them when sickness or disability happens…your wife is with you! So take some confidence from that.

For practical tips, I’d start by adding in more non-sexual touch into your relationship. My partner is quirky…sometimes she really wants it, sometimes she gets flinchy. I think her brain doesn’t always interpret touch the same way. I usually start by touching her back, running my fingers down her arms… lots of kisses. Think foreplay, but more lengthy. Maybe this would work for you too? I think it resets the brain somehow, but I can’t be certain.

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Thank you for taking the time to reply , I have to be honest I think because I was in such a dark place both physically and mentally touching became something that didn’t happen almost like I lost all fluidity mainly in my right arm my strong arm :muscle: after trying twice and just getting frustrated at myself ( couldn’t undo bra ) I just buried my head in the sand a bit , everones had good suggestions and defo non sexual touching would help a lot on my side of things that and actually talking well texting :speech_balloon: as it seems the less intimidating way would defo help relax the situation that and a lot of practice again lol :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: thanks again I really appreciate you taking time to respond :heart:

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The kids are away to there nans for the weekend first time in months :man_facepalming: , so I guess this would be as good a time as any to start the conversation, and to be honest I haven’t Told her that I fell ready again I think :thought_balloon: I was so off put by failing at it twice once my arm just refused to work I was like a 14 year old trying to undo a bra :man_facepalming::man_facepalming::upside_down_face: second time we’ll be it was over before it started wich was embarrassing as it’s not something that’s happened before we’ll not that I can remember , but now I realise that was always going to happen after a year out thanks for all your reply’s and advice fingers crossed I don’t f it up lol :heart:

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At the beginning of Lockdown we downloaded Kindu, which we absolutely loved.

It’s really good as it presents you both with various suggestions each day, some romantic and some sexual and each partner has to vote, using their own device on whether or not they want to try the suggestion. If you both say that you are into that particular suggestion then it comes up as a ‘match’ and you can then ‘wink’ to each other to turn the suggestion into action!

If one or both of you vote ‘no’, then it never comes up as a match and your partner will never know that you voted ‘yes’, so it’s a really good way to get an understanding of what turns you BOTH on, while at the same time avoiding any embarrassment that may be felt if one of you is into something and the other on is repulsed by it. Using the winks is then a comfortable way of suggesting some fun later in the day.

You could maybe wink a romantic match, followed by a sexual match to set the tone for the evening. This could also help to create some excitement as it gives you something to look forward to.

All the best!

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@WeeArnie69 I can definitely identify with a loss of fluidity. Back in August, I was assaulted and ended up in the hospital for a few days. I’m small, and the guy who attacked me slammed me into the side of my car repeatedly. That was 3 months ago, and I’m getting better… but my fine motor skills suffered.

I’m relearning how to do some things. Funny that you mention undoing a partner’s bra was difficult, as I had the same experience. These things do come back over time with some work, but I understand how frustrating it can be. I’m an artist, and I worried for several weeks that my life had changed completely. But with a lot of practice, my brain is rewiring itself and I’m slowly getting back to work. Just explain to your wife, and she’ll understand.

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Mirror flirting could be a most fun experience to try :grin:

When I was younger I had a problem with premature ejaculation, and we decided to get a strap on and harness for me to wear and use on her if I got to excited and she wasn’t done. But I definitely agree with the other comments, start with txt flirting, and go from there.

I’m sorry to hear someone assaulted you , it’s always a scary thing no matter what size you are and I’m glad things are in the mends , for me I played a match Monday and felt a really sore head it was a football match so assumed it was just the cold getting to me , that same week Saturday to be precise I had a sparring session I knew something wasn’t right as I was so sluggish I continued anyway I can home had a bath and went to bed I woke a few hours later in hospital from that day it was a weekly thing hospital that is , fits after fits loss Of power in my arm blurred vision loss of memory !

Around 6 months after it all started my neurologist said the swelling had subsided and things would slowly come back to some normality, that was a year ago now ,it’s been a dark road for the most part a felling of being lost would be my best description . My speech is normal again I can walk run do most things I could before apart from actually spar or compete in boxing or rugby :rugby_football: my motor skills are ok now I just think I rushed things to early and got frustrated and embarrassed :see_no_evil: ,

I’ve been trying the texting approach and to be honest I’m glad I have as it’s a lot less intense way of talking , thanks for all your help and I hope you get back to your artistic ways soon :heart:

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Not sure if my advice from my own experience will be good for you.
I have been in 9years relationship with girl I luv to bits literally. But after few years this unlimited tension goes away a little, that’s why u need to try new things.
I have really bad situation that change everything my mind was somewhere else….
And that’s the worst thing mental settings.
I have so much stress that developed insomnia lost 26kg weight , I wasn’t myself no more .
Try to find peace with your own self so u can project it outside….
If she luv you truly there is always ways even when physically not able to do some things no more.
And one more thing don’t waste time of worrying what she will say life to short , she’s with u talk open conversation, put all cards on table. It will bring u closer if both side truthfully.
Believe me m8

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