So both me and my wife are 33 , for the first ten years of our relationship I played football rugby and boxed but about two years ago after a serious Injury I developed epilepsy, this resulted in our life’s being put on hold love life included , we always had a active love life but lately I struggle to get the conversation stated I suppose because personally I lost a lot of confidence , anyways my question is what advice do you have on one how to bring excitement back and two how to have some form a sexual confidence again , honestly no wrong answers any advice would be great
Hey just so you know on your background picture you can see pictures of your children. I believe this is against the rules and of course you probably don’t want them up there.
Sorry to hear about your injury, it sounds like you have both had a difficult time but at least your trying to get things back on track. I guess it all comes down to rekindling the romance. Can you arrange a date night or a break away.
Hi and welcome
I would say the first part is getting the conversation started.
If you have lost that and nervous about starting again or feel you would struggle to get everything you wanted across then maybe instigate with some text messages etc.
Be open and honest what your feeling or what you want. If your wants are extreme to what you have experienced before then build up slowly.
Texting your thoughts feeling / sexy desires can often be an easier way to start if you haven’t built up the confidence face to face.
If you have used toys before etc then maybe get something new (similar to what you have used already) , great a little at home date night and gift something sexy.
Ohhh no that’s for pointing that out I’ll have to change it now , if I can Remember how too
Thanks for your reply , at this point I’ll try anything to be honest I think it’s more me that’s the issue than her , I’ve never actually thought about texting just so used to talking face to face so thank you
Glad to hear your getting back on track again and think one the best ways is to try be flirty. It can be simple things like that what adds to building up your sexual confidence again. Maybe even surprise your wife with some new lingerie or a toy to get things more exciting
Thanks for the reply , I think I’ll try the texting business first test the waters so to speak lol , but 100 percent I haven’t been at all flirty for well over a year I’ll have to practice in the Mirror for a hour first
I have planned to stay in England for her birthday New Year’s Day she doesn’t know but I’m sure she will love it , I’m just nervous I think because I have been so distant I’ve just forgot what to say and how to day it lol sound pathetic when I read it out loud
It’s not pathetic, you’re just out of practise. A date night were you can fully focus on each other without any distractions could help.
Me and my husband went away for one night in the summer. It was the first time we had been away from the kids in 7 years!! It did wonders for our relationship, which I guess we have kind of been neglecting a bit since the kids. Just being able to dress up, have a good talk, go to a restaurant and have a flirt was amazing. That led onto more once back at our room
Best not to put too much expectation on yourselves though. Try to be present and what happens happens
Thanks for replying. Yeah it’s been a long time for us too without kids or sickness, I think I’ve just overthought everything to the point that it’s a massive thing , I guess the best option is honestly and time , doesn’t make it any less nerve wracking lol , thanks again for the reply
Take it slowly, how about an afternoon of just touching, enjoying each others body, no penatration just learning each others bodies again.
Sounds like you are struggling with confidence, how about a questionnaire where you ask each other what you love about each other, your eyes, lips, forearms? What was the most memorable, delightful time you had together and what was it that made it special? What did you find really sexy that your partner did? That way you get the ball rolling and I would find that flirtatious and gets my imagination going.
The problem is that my wife looks every bit as fantastic as the day we met however I don’t look like I used to , she disagrees with that statement but I don’t lol , love the sound of a questionnaire that actually really clever thanks for taking the time to reply much appreciated
Thanks for taking the time to reply , at this point I’m willing to try anything like I say it’s totally a overthink session on my side of the bed but everones been super helpful so time to try some things that’s been said
Communication is always key, and once you get the first sentence out it’ll be much easier after that.
Did your love life take a hit because of the injury or because of the epilepsy? How is your intimacy now? In terms of kissing, touching, cuddles etc. Are you doing any of that?
Having a good snog can do wonders for you!
So I took a heavy blow to the head which cause swelling in the brain , when that subsided I was left with epilepsy, at the start I was fitting a lot and locked myself away from the world , finallly my meds started working and I got some normality back , yes we kiss and hug and are affectionate to each other I’m just that far out of practice it’s like I’m a awkward teen again first time on rodeo , my wife’s been amazing although I no it’s effected her she’s never held it over me ever rather the opposite I hold it over myself , I think I also expected it all to just be the same as before the injury which obviously wasn’t going to happen when we had a year without any physical contact .
No bother, I know how hard it is with epilepsy, especially getting it later in life. My wife has it and a friend at work has just started with it at the age of 25, so been supporting her too.
Take your time, don’t over think it and enjoy your time with your wife
It’s definitely a difficult thing to get the old head around such a life change but thankfully I think I’m the other side of it now , and thank you I will try my best and defo practice not over thinking
Ok so health wise, you’re mostly back on track, thats great!
Feeling like a teenager can be fun, a good sexy snog can get the butterflies going and is a great way to naturally begin touching each other.
If she knows you want to, then thats a big step, wee compliments about her being sexy with a grrry growl might reinforce that…but only if you compliment her already.
But I do love the texting suggestion, especially if she’s not alone so that you can watch her blush
Honestly thank you for taking the time to reply , I will actually try this as she’s a big texter I’m the overly talkative one lol , nothing would make me laugh more than seeing her blush when company’s in I think maybe the problem is I’ve been to scared to laugh and defo overthinking everything . Thanks again