I have been with my husband for 20 years and we are trying to broaden our relationship, my husband is eager to try swingers clubs but im not sure, does anyone have any experience of going? What did you think? Im worried that it will ruin our relationship and im nervous as never had a sexual relationship with anyone else, help!!!!
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If you're not sure then it's not for you, sorry! If you're concerned about jealousy, or the strength of your relationship then swinging is definitely not the best idea. We once tried a somewhat "open relationship" phase, and slept with other people. I personally have no issues and would like to explore the lifestyle more, but hubby didn't enjoy his time as he felt guilty with his partner and jealousy when he came home. These were feelings we had anticipated might happen and so we were able to discuss them and put it on an indefinite pause with no hard feelings (atleast I don't think there is) I would personally like to go further but hubby is reluctant and so I respectfully just look but don't touch haha
If you're unsure, think you are not ready. Don't even try. However there's no harm visiting these clubs as observers. Hub and I had been to a few but never a participant.
Personally, I wouldn't even go as an observer. I think that would definitely send the wrong message to your husband.
I would go with the "never say never, but definitely not now" answer. Your fears are real, and yes, it would probably ruin your relationship.
I'll come at this from a single girls point of view. I have to completely agree with everyone else above. If you're having doubts or aren't sure, you definitely aren't ready to enter the swinging world. If you bring a single female or couple into your relationship, it can change things. Unfortunately as a single female, I've been with a couple where things have became weird and the guy started to message me separately. To me, this isn't acceptable and if you're swinging together, things must be completely open and honest. I wouldn't rule swinging out quite yet (because it is actually great fun!), but maybe have a deeper conversation about why you're thinking about swinging and set some ground rules if you ever were going to adventure down this pathway.
Me an my partner have been interested in going to one we live Near Heathrow which is ment to have one but we’ve never been .we want to go to be watched mainly as we aren’t ready for other people getting involved properly yet
We started our swinging 15 years ago by visiting a club. Neither of us had been to one before, and I was a bit dubious about them being seedy places where women were treated disrespectfully. How wrong I was! They're actually secure places where people can have recreational sex free from any societal constraints. The one rule common to all clubs is "no means NO" and nobody is pushy or crude. All the ones we've seen have been smart, clean and warm.
You don't have to play - watching others in playrooms is an education and shows how joyful swinging can be. On our second visit we did our first soft-swing swap and after a few more visits, our first full swap. We're glad we took things easy and talked before and after each visit, being open and honest. He wanted to do a full swap before me, but I needed to take things more slowly. We discussed this and other things in detail, and we still discuss our swinging experiences before and after. Discussion and agreement are absolutely essential in the swinging world.
Peakcouple, your swing experiences are commendable. If you are into swing, I suggest you read up their posts in other thread.
Agree with the posts above, if your not sure then I wouldn’t risk it, not worth ruining your relationship over, I’m sure if you spoke to him about it and told him exactly how you felt then he will understand your concerns
It’s something I want to try too but my husband isn’t too keen on the idea. For now it’s just mentioned during dirty talk while we have sex
We have always talked about threesomes and swinging etc but neither of us are fully 100% comfortable so untill that time comes when we are definatly and 150% sure we are both happy with it then its not in our interests. Its nothing to do with either of us messaging others outside of swinging, its more the fact of can either of us watch the other with another person.