That sounds so similar to me/my wife it’s uncanny! Hope things improve. I find myself sometimes in that sulk and I am sure it’s a turn off to her unfortunately. Sometimes I outright ask for Sex which isn’t very seductive but she isn’t one for picking up hints and suggestions..
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I think this is a really difficult one. For many years while work and a child was demanding most of my time and energy, I had a very low libido. So, I couldn’t get enthusiastic about sex at all. I used to say I wouldn’t ‘get’ in the mood if a naked Idris Elba walked in 
There came a point where I wanted to regain my mojo and started to think about what did turn me on, however small. Lucky for me the menopause came along and that something small just grew, and grew. My libido is a bit relentless these days and H struggles to keep up!
Perhaps rather than talking about what you want to try sexually or asking her what she’d like to do, you might ask her what does get her excited? That may be films, books, scenes from a TV show. Then perhaps you can talk about that and use your time together nurturing it? It may be the seed of change…sorry very twee analogy but I think you get the idea.
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Same with my wife. She’s hornier when rested and not bulldozed by life.
I try to help as much as i can. Helping at home helps in bed!!!
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When we’re away, as a couple (doesn’t happen very often as parents), she is noticeably different. I can understand that and appreciate how much she does in terms of the heavy lifting of ‘running’ our family (I do as much as I can but she’s very much a do-er so will often juggle umpteen things without asking for help, so I offer wherever I can). I tend to look after our daughter’s various class/hobby logistics and transport, canine exercise and I do all the cooking and kitchen cleanup. I mention this purely as at times I know it can be perceived that men expect everything to be done for them. I’m not a neanderthal and do my share because I want to, and think it’s right to do so.
I nevertheless appreciate all that she does so, while I do struggle at times to keep my hands off her, I think in almost thirty years of being together, I’ve initiated intimacy less than ten times. I’m a 6ft 2 man who weighs 17 stone (and am often compared to a bouncer thanks to being bald). Not the most confident bloke so, due to a mixture of fear of rejection, or coming across as demanding, I tend to hope for the best and will it to happen - then sulk if my wife doesn’t read my mind!
I know as a couple (of such a long duration), it’s quite common for this to happen, but I do read with envy the accounts of women whose libido skyrockets during menopause. I live in hope! I still think my wife is the sexiest woman alive and while my sex drive has shot up in the last couple of years, I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or pressured. I am trying in earnest to initiate conversations, but I think it will be a long road. Still, she’s the love of my life, so it’s worth it.
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Been with my partner for 20 years until just recently we would only do have sex a certain way and I would ask to try different things. Now something has happened and it’s let’s try this way and that way and adding toys. It was almost like a switch was turned on. I don’t know what changed but I am liking it.
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I am always just on the cusp of starting a new conversation with my gorgeous wife about if there is anything new/different she would like to try, if she has any fantasies etc as our sex life is OK, (really enjoyable when it happens, I think for both of us) but tends to follow the same routine, even down to which day of the week. I have tried to vary it, suggest things and take the lead which is generally met with a kind of, ummm oookkkk reluctant acceptance of the idea which feels like to keep me happy. I know there is so much more to explore and I want to give her mind blowing sex in a variety of ways. If we could get past the normal routine, if it could feel really good for her a few times it would be desired a lot more often?
Anyway, so every time I build up to talking about it or have done in the past it’s been met with a kind of ‘what’s gotten into you’ vibe. Our sex life was amazing in the early few years in fact the first 5 years or so. She does have a lot on and a busy life so I know that’s not helping (I think she feels ah we will get round to that one day when we are not busy people)..
I want to keep trying and create an incredible future with lots of exploration for us, not with someone else.
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