Over xmas shes gna wear the above outfit one day and get nice and ready for me in outfit to dominate me.
Shes ballbusted me before few kicks here and there, and knows i love to be a sub.
So before wearing this for our ‘session’ shes gna give me a nice big hug and kiss etc and remind me whats going to happen next during our session is purely because of my desires and her wanting to fulfill my needs.
Im going to let her change into the dominatrix outfit.
Once shes ready we will set an alarm for 30 minutes when im under her control.
I have requested she starts off with foot fetish and making me worship her feet, legs, heels/boots
Given her permission to strike me across my body who ever she desires slaps, punches, kicks etc (all within my limits traffic light system)
Given permission for ballbusting will be using traffic light system for pain thresholds, and be allowed to test my limits, however long she desires
Given her permission to facesit me, and if i tap to give me a few seconds before she facesits me again to make for an intense session.
Permission to humiliate me etc throughout.
After this she will come out of dominatrix mode and provide some after care etc and plan is to have some good sex afterwards
Just wandering am i being reasonable here and not expecting too much, this is my fantasy and my wife is up for it , shes done some dominating here and there in past for a few minutes at a time, but just after any tips etc on how to navigate the day, and if im going to extreme etc … and maybe ask my wife to explore us visting a professional dominatrix or let her try and do this herself and see if we can manage to do ‘sessions’ every now and again to fulfil my kinky urges!….she wasnt very happy when i said we should get some coaching from a professional mistress!!
Ps shes really vanilla i always ask if i can fulfill her fantasies, and she always says she has none which i dont believe but we been married 8 years and shes very conservative but very open to at least fulfilling my needs, and is yet to fully open up as she must have some fantasy of her own which i could fulfill for her like she helps me with mine
It all sounds good, especially as you have thought about safety. I’m not personally into ballbusting but as you have safewords in place, I don’t see too much to worry about. Has she read up on safe techniques?
Visiting a professional Dominatrix can be risky, she may feel that you’ll prefer the Dominatrix more. Some do do coaching sessions. How about checking out local events and speaking to some people there about ballbusting? It makes it a bit less intense then.
Regarding your wife’s fantasies, if she’s a bit conservative (I was), it may be that she believes it’s “wrong” for her to like sex. I would lay off fhe pressure and just let her know she can come to you at any time if there’s something she wants to try. Good luck to you both
I believe that if your wife feels that she wants to participate into this to fulfill your desires, i believe that its reasonable. Its enjoyable seeing their partners experimenting being subs/dom.
I wish you and your wife all the best in this new endeavour. As you have already mentioned you have talked and referenced your preferences, safe word and hopeful expectations of your forthcoming Dom/sub time.
I would highlight a few extra things to consider. Firstly although you’ve said this is not your first time doing this together taking it easy and steady is important, and not rushing to the next thing can be helpful. Having time outs between events and stages helps your wife/partner to reevaluate and consider what’s just happened come to grips with what you’ve both done together and bring emotions into check and the conversation.
The time constraints you have with children gives you opportunity to play the long game in the Dom sub roles a text here and there like your mistress demands you make the perfect cup of tea, you have 5 minutes to make it or no fun tonight
Although you’ve informed us your Dom wife has in the past done some ball-busting with you. Please consider taking it slowly in an extended play time. Although it might not hurt there and then the soft tissue can swell, tear, and bleed. After the event.
You have wisdom to set aside time for aftercare and links with time to touch base as your playtime progresses.
As for hiring a Dominatrix where is the fun in that! You may get to your desired goal quicker but your wife has lost out on learning to please her sub. There is little that makes a Dom smile more than to have their sub look up at them and with innocent eyes thank them for being just perfect for them. As they kiss the toes that have just busted their balls. Read, watch, learn from each other the power dynamic is then nurtured not forced or has another persons influence in it. Watch Dom/sub porn but don’t take it as gospel.
Lastly consider your wife as a growing flower if you will when it comes to fantasies, innocent yes; but only just now. Let her immerse herself in the environment and most likely her own desires and wants will grow from that.
@Tenshadesandme has a wonderful blog that explores some of not all of these dynamics and points and as both she and @SwinginIt69 have said experiment it’s all in the name of fun.
Youve had some amazing advise so im not going to sit here and repeat it. The thing i would add is just remind her that she can safe word also. It sounds as though this is fairly new and if this is her 1st long scene with you it may get too much for her. She may want to stop the scene entirely or stop it for a break to regroup, and its as valid for a Dom to safe word as it is for the sub. Id just remind her that if she needs to, its fine and there will be no negative feelings. Talk about any aftercare that she may need also. My dom who is also my husband needs reassurance of my love and that im ok afterwards. We also ensure once were both back in our vanilla headset, we discuss the scene. We discuss for us both what went well, what didnt, our favourite bits and not so favourite bits and what either of us would have changed. This way we hope to make each scene better and more fulfilling.
Have fun!!!
I don’t think you’re asking too much as its all been talked about and agreed. I do think it’s a lot to expect to happen in 30 mins. It shouldn’t* just be rub a foot, give a beating, sit on your face and humiliate you, all without allowing time to build the tension and savour the sensations.
Take time to give your wife aftercare, and make sure she knows that you’ve considered that and that if either of you want to use the safe word and end it, its over, with no pressure to continue and no sulking. Move straight to aftercare for whoever called it.
*in my opinion as someone who is subby.
I think when it comes to your wife not opening up, you may need to ease off a bit. If she’s conservative she may have unhealthy feelings about sex and only know what you introduce her to. I would recommend trying a wee Quiz to give ideas about what you could do together or what you might like done to you. Also do the BDSM, see if she actually is dominant or only doing it for you. I wouldn’t be able to do all the things you are asking of your wife, not bc theres anything wrong with it, but bc I’m a sub.
If someone inflicted certain pain to me, say pain to the balls, I’d get bad stomach ache and sex Wud be my last desire!
Be wary to what sounds good on paper to what it’s like in real life.
Also be mindful of your wife’s limitations.
Ensure she’s happy with it, or is it a 1 off, as in it’s not going to be something that becomes regular, and cud even slowly take over regular sex.
I’ve always been aware that once we’ve tasted something kinky /different, we want more, and vanilla sex becomes boring.
Then we move on to something a bit more spicy, and so on. Before long the whole repitoir has changed, and sex sessions are mainly kink, with vanilla play on the back burner, perhaps done occasionally.
Careful how deep u go, as the brain can be changed so u only get gratification from extreme satisfaction is what I’m probably getting to.
Hope you have a good session tho, and kudos to your wife for giving you a treat, just make sure you listen, I mean properly listen to her needs, limits and comfort zone
