I've shopped at LH a few times, so here I am. Here goes:
We've been married 32 years and sexually my wife has never been in the slightest aroused. She's disgusted by fluids, genitals and has never felt any form of sexual pleasure at all. We do manage intercourse OK because she enjoys the 'cuddle'. In desperation we recently had sex therapy, viewed self help videos, and now she'll cope with her genitals being touched and we ditched the condoms. But nothing adventurous like 'hand jobs' or different positions. But nothing gives her any sensations short of LH's ferocious little vibrator, and she does not enjoy it. Any form of gentle massage from body to genitals does nothing.
She does not appear to have any fantasy, sensuality or sexual enjoyment. It's like the nerves are cut to her loins. I asked her is she was asexual but she insists she is not.
I've exhausted every last penny of my knowledge. Even when we are relaxed and cuddlying she has no reaction to any genital touch. Additionally her clitoris is miniscule and very difficult to find - especially since she won't let me look.
Here's what I am asking:
1. Has anyone any fail-safe methods for getting any sensation out of the most reluctant clitoris?
2.Have any of you ideas to help me unlock her incredibly locked-in sexuality?
3. If you have no help for me, are there words (ladies only please) of encouragement or eye-openers you might write so I could send on to her?
4. At the last resort - does anyone know any sex coaches that can teach me to skills I need? Sounds mad, I know, but that's how stuck I am. If I had a sure touch it might help.
Some people would say leave her, but we otherwise have a great relationship and there's no way I'm wrecking a well-founded 32 year marriage. My most desperate need is to bring her to a great orgasm that will open her eyes to what she has been missing and bring her joy.
This has been a huge and miserable part of my life for many years. I am at my wits end and if I can't get anything to work this year then I'm giving it up.
Thank you for taking the trouble to read this.