As a bisexual switch I enjoy the best of every sensation but i also wanted to ask about aftercare after a BDSM session. As I don't live with my other 2/3 (they are a couple) for me physical aftercare is relatively limited however we text & private message a lot which is generally great. So what do you Doms/Tops do as aftercare or what do you Subs/Bottoms enjoy to comfort you both physically & mentally? Thanks in advance & looking forward to hearing your ideas & advice xx
Before I lived with my partner, I used to have to do a lot of aftercare myself. I would get texts and calls from my partner (and previous partners before him) which were really important to maintain the connection.
Beyond that I had a self care routine which involved a few things. Food was a big part, eating a balance of carbs and protein with some vegetables (i find chicken sandwiches, chicken fajitas or pizza work quite well for this). Don’t over do the sugar but I let myself have treats. Keeping hydrated is important too, but again treat yourself a little with it, you don’t have to stick to water if you don’t want to.
Just do nice little things for you. That could be having a bubble bath or wearing an item of clothing you really love, reading, watching your favourite film, using your favourite sex toy, make tea in your favourite mug. You don’t need to go over board but just make time for some nice things.
Hello there, It must be really difficult not having your partners there for the aftercare. The only real experience I have of that is on the occasions where time got away from us, and my husband had to leave in a hurry - I did feel somewhat abandoned in these situations, although I understood why he had to go, and in fact, sometimes it was for me that he was having to go.
So I'm glad about the texts and private messages. They are a good start. I would try to get a little time after you finish for some cuddles and snogging (if that is your thing). I felt a lot better just having bodily contact. After my early spankings, I would cuddle up in his armpit with my ass sticking out. He could often see my ass in a mirror, so he could admire it glowing. What I needed after a spanking was to feel loved, even though I knew I was massively loved, for some reason a spanking always left me needing to feel it (and I initiated the whole spanking thing anyway, not him).
Other things I would do is to make sure you do anything you physically need to do for yourself - eg moisturise your ass if it has been spanked. In fact, we took or moisturising our asses every day, to keep them in tip top condition and ready for the next spanking. Aftercare for physical issues may well in itself make you feel better.
Regarding food, I always used to lie face down on the bed, ass on fire, eating a decent box of chocolates. My treat, which I wouldn't eat if I tried to cover my ass with my hands or stop the spanking (a good incentive).
All in all, get them to make you feel loved/cared for, and then look after your physical issues and have a treat or two. Hopefully that will help.
Mira is so right. Cuddles are so important after and talking. Especially if I have received a good paddling or caning and my bottom is a lot more extreme than red and warm. Hubby has moisturiser in the fridge so he applies it after .its good that you txt. Maybe live WhatsApp or facetime so they can speak with you and be nice to you. Xxx
and you can show them you Mark's xOh I love the idea of moisturise in the fridge! Thanks for the tip xx It is cuddles i crave the most, we obviously can only cuddle in private as publically being in a long term threesome is still somewhat taboo. We do have a private chat/message thread and post pics/vids too, which is also great for solo play if we are apart. When I'm top it is usually what I have been dening them which i give the most of- so if they have been teased but not touched it is cuddles, if freedom of movement/bondage encourage them to move around & often massage plays a part. Thanks for all the advice & tips so far, please do keep them coming xx
You are very welcome my lovely. I wish you love luck and lots of happiness x 😘 Mrs Mature x