couldn't have put it better myself,WillC wrote:
Please understand this...your man loves you,he probably isn`t perfect himself,and knows it! There is nothing sexier than a woman comfortable in her own skin and a woman ashamed/conscious of her body is a big passion killer.Just go for it and be confident! (Trust me!)
This post is for all women!
I do know the feeling, i have a scar on my back and tiny ones from feeding tubes as a result of cancer i had as a kid, which i hate and no one can tell me otherwise about them.
They don't actually sell it on here anymore and i'm not sure if i could link you the website but the Kiss Me Deadly Van Doren is amazing and sprung straight to mind. It's got a vintage/retro style to it, so it comes just up over your belly button and curves your bottom beautifully with some stockings.
It's my favourite as it's so comfortable to wear out/to work and fits into our BDSM sessions. Anyway heres the old LH link:
Would this scenario be happening with the light on I presume? What about turning the lights off and spotting some candles about the room instead? They will give off enough light for him to be able to appreciate the view but the softer lighting will hide your "tiger marks" and you won't feel quite so exposed.
I haven't had a baby, I'm just very overweight and have no real "excuse" for it, so I know how embarrassing it can feel to be on show when you're not comfortable with or proud of your body. As others have said though, things need to move at your pace. This isn't about you pleasing him or going along with what he wants to do, it's about the pair of you having an experience together. If you're not comfortable doing something or want to add your own conditions then you have every right to do so and if he's anything like decent he will respect and probably admire that.
Just my two cents.
I've had one partner ask me if I've lied to him about not having children before based on my stretch marks. I have never been pregnant, can't have children as there is a high chance of putting me in a wheelchair and passing my disability on to my child. Tiger stripes, no cubs. So I totally get what you're feeling. I am covered in stretch marks from my upper arms to my calfs, no way in hell I can dress to hide them and still be able to have sex.
So what option do I have? Try to accept it. Your body is yours, it's carried you and another life when others (like mine) just can't. The marks are part of you, not just something that's happened to you.
It's difficult to do but in the long run it's the only thing that works. While you're working up to it I agree things like waspies are ideal for giving you that extra bit of confidence. Opening up to your partner and building mutual trust is another important factor. When he looks in your eyes and tells you you're beautiful, believe him. Look back into his eyes and you'll see the truth.
Regarding candles,that`s a good idea,but also,have you considered a dimmer switch in your bedroom? You can even get remote control ones for about £20,you can then set the light to your comfort Romantic and practical!
Regarding candles,that`s a good idea,but also,have you considered a dimmer switch in your bedroom? You can even get remote control ones for about £20,you can then set the light to your comfort Romantic and practical!
SlinkyRat wrote:
I've had one partner ask me if I've lied to him about not having children before based on my stretch marks. I have never been pregnant, can't have children as there is a high chance of putting me in a wheelchair and passing my disability on to my child. Tiger stripes, no cubs. So I totally get what you're feeling. I am covered in stretch marks from my upper arms to my calfs, no way in hell I can dress to hide them and still be able to have sex.
So what option do I have? Try to accept it. Your body is yours, it's carried you and another life when others (like mine) just can't. The marks are part of you, not just something that's happened to you.
It's difficult to do but in the long run it's the only thing that works. While you're working up to it I agree things like waspies are ideal for giving you that extra bit of confidence. Opening up to your partner and building mutual trust is another important factor. When he looks in your eyes and tells you you're beautiful, believe him. Look back into his eyes and you'll see the truth.
Yes!
Remember that when a man truly loves you, when he looks at you he just sees his love.
I honestly couldn't tell you any more whether my OH is really beautiful in a general sense - all I see when I look at her is love, and to me she is the most beautiful thing in the World.
Hi Drurys, its Jenny. I have to say that if your new guy knows what he is about, then he will not only take you but , once he is done with you , that you will realise just how beautiful you are and can not only be grateful to him, but more importantly , you will find yourself. I have been through a the same feelings myself. As you may know I am a tv and coming out as one at 55 , I felt ugly and unattractive, but i met a woman [27] who took me in hand. She asked me what I was looking for and told me that I should be honest with her. Well, I was shocked at first that someone younger than me would understand what this 'old man' was all about, [ I thought I knew everything ] but nontheless I told her how I wanted to be used and so on and she smiled and said it was my lucky day She wasn't wrong. She has taught me so much and is why I have my femine side.
I meant to say that she is why I now embrace my feminine side.
I'm sure everyone is giving you fantastic advice, and I'm tired after work so I'm not going to read it all nor do i have much to add.
The reason I don't have much to add, is because I want to tell you that you can, and one day will, be proud of your body.
You did something amazing in your life, and you've got the scars to prove it.
And any man worth his salt will appreciate them. That goes for everyone.
A couple weeks ago I saw a girl walking on the pier in her shorts and tank top, he partner pushing the pram. Her entire middrift was showing, and completely covered in red, long 1cm thick "tiger stripes". She carried on with her life like nothing had changed and they looked so happy together.
Without mentioning it, I saw my partner smiling and asked him why, his response was "I just think it's really great" no further explanation needed.
Of course you aren't going to wake up tomorrow and feel differently than you do now, but I hope that one day you can learn to accept yourself in a similar way.
Oh also, submitting to your partner and allowing him to see everything is kinda part of the game? If he knows how much it affects you, but you try it anyway, it will arouse him tremendously and hopefully help you realise that your worst fears, are nothing to be afraid of x
The waspie corsets are great but consider an under bust one to allow breast play.
Hopefully you will soon overcome your reservations.
drurysl02 wrote:
They are absolutely gorgeous! How have i never seen them before!!! Its the bottom of my stomach im most wary of. But they are gorgeous and i reckon id feel comfortable with myself in them!!Scorpius12 wrote:
Hi there, as the others have said, these marks are part of who you are and make you unique and special. As a temporary measure, you could always go with a waspie, that still leaves most of you uncovered. I love them myself too. Here are a couple of options:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25930
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25501
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26256
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29985
You should talk to him, even if it feels embarrassing, and say that you need to build your confidence about certain parts of you. If he is experienced in BDSM, he will know how to build your confidence and will also feel rewarded himself as he helps your confidence grow xx