Hey everyone!
I have recently started seeing a guy who is very, kinky.
I have always loved the idea on BDSM, being tied up, the humiliation etc.
But i think i may need help!
We have done light bondage. But i am incredibly insecure about my body since having a child (i have a lot of wobbly bits, like a tiger i have my stripes on my stomach)
He really wants to tie me to the bed naked so he has full control of me. To me that sound so so soooo hot. I just cant bring myself to be naked in front of any male.
Any tips where i can keep my top on etc would be awesome. Thankyou! <3
Just tell him how you feel and I am sure he will understand , or you get some sexy undies maybe a corset or basque and keep that on that would be really hot.
I can really understand his desire to have you naked and tied - there is an element of humiliation in having someone totally naked in front of you when done int he right setting/scene.
Really you need to talk to him about this, and if he is really into you , he will do the following:
1) insist that these tiger lines and wobbly bits do not bother him
2) insist that its these things that make you special and makes him liking you even more special
3) understand and re-think his scene with you a bit more clothed
4) help you choose an outfit in which you would be comfortable
5) carry out the scene with you tied up in your new outfit
6) probably try and remove the outfit once youre tied up! - only becasue he probably really likes you a lot
My advice would be to relax and go with the flow, maybe wear a blindfold and just submit to someone you seem to trust and enjoy the company of.
I'm sure if you talked to him he'd say, those are the bits that make you, you! Without them you'd be someone else and he's with you, not someone else.
As the others have said perhaps a naughty outfit will make you feel more confident.
Personally I love my ladies wobblybits, stretch marks and scars beause they are all part of her...
HTH.
would something like this help:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14772
it partially covers your midrif
Thankyou all! This is really helpful!
I think its more how i feel about my bits rather than how he feels about them.
I love corsets and basques. Im just a little nervous as hes a big bdsm goer and i have only done light bondage and he knows i want to do all that he wants its just my insecuritys.
I have never shown anyone my stripy tummy!
Thankyou all! Xx
Hi there, as the others have said, these marks are part of who you are and make you unique and special. As a temporary measure, you could always go with a waspie, that still leaves most of you uncovered. I love them myself too. Here are a couple of options:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25930
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25501
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26256
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29985
You should talk to him, even if it feels embarrassing, and say that you need to build your confidence about certain parts of you. If he is experienced in BDSM, he will know how to build your confidence and will also feel rewarded himself as he helps your confidence grow xx
They are absolutely gorgeous! How have i never seen them before!!! Its the bottom of my stomach im most wary of. But they are gorgeous and i reckon id feel comfortable with myself in them!!Scorpius12 wrote:
Hi there, as the others have said, these marks are part of who you are and make you unique and special. As a temporary measure, you could always go with a waspie, that still leaves most of you uncovered. I love them myself too. Here are a couple of options:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25930
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25501
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26256
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29985
You should talk to him, even if it feels embarrassing, and say that you need to build your confidence about certain parts of you. If he is experienced in BDSM, he will know how to build your confidence and will also feel rewarded himself as he helps your confidence grow xx
Sum sub, i love them! But its the nasty wobbly bit you get after birth at the bottom of my stomach i dont like!
Im sorry for being so fussy and awkward!
Hey Drury. Rather than covering up with lingerie, do you think that maybe it would help if you weren't completely exposed all at once? Perhaps if you were wearing something when you initially are tied up - not necessarily clothes/lingerie but wrapped in a robe or a sheet, then your partner can take control and tease one area at a time, taking time over each area, which would eventually leave you naked but without the intial 'shock' of being naked all at once. You could even ask your partner to leave the sheet/robe over your stomach for now if you think it would stop your from enjoying the rest of the experience. Or by the time your partner has worked his way there you may already be enjoying yourself & be relaxed enough that you care a lot less than you did in the beginning.
Wizzie86! Thats actually a really good idea. I never thought of that. I really appreciate all of the responses. I guess it will all be okay once i have confidence in myself...Wizzie86 wrote:
Hey Drury. Rather than covering up with lingerie, do you think that maybe it would help if you weren't completely exposed all at once? Perhaps if you were wearing something when you initially are tied up - not necessarily clothes/lingerie but wrapped in a robe or a sheet, then your partner can take control and tease one area at a time, taking time over each area, which would eventually leave you naked but without the intial 'shock' of being naked all at once. You could even ask your partner to leave the sheet/robe over your stomach for now if you think it would stop your from enjoying the rest of the experience. Or by the time your partner has worked his way there you may already be enjoying yourself & be relaxed enough that you care a lot less than you did in the beginning.
Please understand this...your man loves you,he probably isn`t perfect himself,and knows it! There is nothing sexier than a woman comfortable in her own skin and a woman ashamed/conscious of her body is a big passion killer.Just go for it and be confident! (Trust me!)
This post is for all women!
WillC wrote:
Please understand this...your man loves you,he probably isn`t perfect himself,and knows it! There is nothing sexier than a woman comfortable in her own skin and a woman ashamed/conscious of her body is a big passion killer.Just go for it and be confident! (Trust me!)
This post is for all women!
Thankyou sweetie!
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21561
what about something like this? He can still see your body just not all the details like your stripes, you could get some crotchless thongs for added voulnerability and the zip front gives him better access.
you should be proud of your stripes, they're not from laziness or over eating but because you sacrificed you body for months to support another life, your body gave up so much so you could give birth to a healthy strong child. You're a tiger who earned her stripes. Reveal a little more when you feel comfortable and eventually you'll feel comfortable showing your belly to your man, have you been swimming, like to a family session with your kid and maybe your OH eventually, showing your marks in a non-sexual environment may help as well as seeing other mothers who have the same marks.
On the lack of confidence with BDSM side, do you trust him? If you do then know he'll never push you past your limit, have a safeword and if you're in too much pain or feel too uncomfortable he'll stop or untie you, don't feel embarresed if you want to stop, the whole point of BDSM is to push someone to their limit, the adrenalin rush is unlike anything else, but he loves you and owing go straight to hard core stuff, he needs to build up and learn what you like and can go further with and what you can tolerate but can't advance in and what you don't like. If he wants to try something new on you why don't you try it on him first? You'll get an idea of how you'll feel and what will happen. Also if he's willing to take it it shows he understands what he's doing to you he'll know how far he could go and therefore won't push you past that point. It's all about understanding and trust on both sides, go slow and learn as much as you can
What about one of the deep suspender belts? Or a suspender skirt, BlueBella do a really lovely one. They'd cover most of the stripes and the little wobbly bit at the bottom of your tummy ( I've had three kids I know the bit you mean ) but still leave you mostly revealed.
Once you get a bit more confident you'll be able to reveal more of yourself.
No advice sorry just wanted to say your not alone there a plenty of women including myself with wobbly bits an tiger stripes. We may hate them but think your self bested to have gone through the experience of having a child there are many people who won't get to experience it.
Blessed damn auto correct
I think you have received a lot of excellent advice above, but I wanted to add that everybody has some part of their body that they are not comfortable about, and whilst that doesn't make you feel any better about your own insecurities, hopefully it helps you to see that you are just a normal and very beautiful woman to your man.
i have many imperfections including baby tummy, random long-term wobbles and surgical scars, but have gradually relaxed about it because my gorgeous man loves every inch of my body, so the only person with concerns is me. I still love to wear something sexy to cover my abdomen, especially a waspie or garter belt, but doing that gave me the confidence to bare all. I was very upfront about it in the early days and he made extra efforts to make me feel comfortable, eg I have a leather, rubber and PVC collection to die for, very sexy and ideal for BDSM, so definitely be open or he might think you are not up for it.
Why don't you get some Bondage tape - the Tracey Cox double pack in pink and black is great by the way - and wrap yourself in that? Technically, your not wearing anything, but its enough to cover up bits your not too confident about to begin with! I'm sure he will love it too!!
Hi drurys102 A good suspender belt and stockings shoul camoflage your problem area.
But is it realy a problem for him? Have you told him?
It's probably not noticable when you are in some positions.
I hope you can overcome this and enjoy it.
Play safe. x