Becoming a Dom

Hi, I am considering a Dom/Sub relationship with my good lady - some of antics in the bedroom could lead us that way. There have been some great posts on the subject on LH which will help us on this journey.

I have a question, I am struggling with confidence with various things in life - could becoming a Dom help me become a more confident person outside the bedroom?


Being a Dom is nothing more than sex based role playing with a partner that allows you to dominate them.

Life can often be broken down into live role playing.

So yes. Some skills gained will be transferable.


Yes, I suppose it is.

I can’t say it definitely will but I’ve definitely noticed that my Dom has become a lot more confident in their day to day life since we started our D/S dynamic.
I think it can be very empowering especially if you tend to be the less dominant one in your daily life.
I think the most important thing is the at you have fun with it and experiment together.


I consider that being more of a Dom in the bedroom has had a massive effect on my whole life
I was an awkward woman who would not say boo to a goose in the past but since I was asked to be a Dom in the bedroom in very much more assertive and I will stand out more.

My answer is yes - become a dominant in the bedroom and it will change your overall persona

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Is master/slave the same as dom/sub?

To me they’re very different dynamics. The dom wants to give the sub what they desire and need.

I don’t imagine the same level of care would be in a master slave dynamic.

I would expect that these are open to interpretation and mean different things to different people.


Ok, that makes sense. Thanks @jocat. MrsSilverback wants to grab her, spank her, do what I want. And she wants the TLC too, so the Dom/Sub dynamic sounds right.

It matters less what you call the dynamic, what happens between you both is more important.

I think with anything, you need to discuss limits.

Doing ‘what you want’ is a very broad statement, and it will help you if she sets the boundaries so you don’t unknowingly go too far.
Is she ok if you whip her until she bleeds? Does she want to be branded? Slapped? Cut? Do you know your own limits? Does she know what you absolutely won’t do?

Not questions for me to know the answers, but you have to find out where her boundary line lies. And make time for aftercare, you both will need it.


In sense yes it could possibly help give you some added outside confidence :smiley: