Beginners anal

My partner is lookong to try anal but i have no.idea how to make it easy as ive never been that type of person but willing to try for my partner il be gratgul for the advice thanks :blush:


welcome to the forum @Rose_petal

I would suggest some self play with lubricant.

For my wife and I we sort of evolved into anal play, we were having PIV sex in missionary position, she has a lovely bum and I often feel it with my hands during sex, she was so wet her ass had become completely soaked and I started rubbing her anal opening with a finger and she seemed to enjoy it so we carried on. We ended up both orgasming PIV but I had 2 fingers in her bum.

From there we purchased some anal plugs and slowly built up to her being able to take my cock.

I must stress that a good conversation on it is paramount so you’re both on the same page. Secondly, lube, lube, lube. Check the type of lube too, silicon based lube should not be used with silicon toys. It lasts longer than water based lube. Water based lube is fine for use with all toys.

Thirdly for anything anal the key we found is to be relaxed, if you are not in a relaxed and in a comfortable mood then it is much harder to achieve any type of pleasure and it will hurt.

Good luck and it would be great to hear how you go with your forthcoming anal adventures.

CF69 x


Hi @Rose_petal
Welcome to the forum
I’d agree with CF69 in that lube is absolutely essential when starting out. Anal doesnt have to be painful or uncomfortable. You can always stop and try a different position if it is (Mrs Bobs likes to lay on her back on the edge of the bed so we can look at each other). Start slowly, maybe fingers or a small toy? Keep talking and telling each other how it feels. Have fun experimenting! :grin:


Definitely lube, fingers, a plug set with different sizes and a small dildo that they can push back on themselves when they’re ready for it.

Does you partner want you to wear a strap on?

When you say you’ve never been that type of person, what do you mean?

Hi @Rose_petal, can I just check whether you mean that you are on the receiving end or whether it is you penetrating him with a dildo or strap on?

I would suggest trying a small butt plug on your own first so that you can experiment without any pressure. Make sure that you are relaxed and aroused first and always use lots of lube. If you feel any discomfort, stop and try again another day. I find that it is easier if i push against the plug or dildo slightly, almost as if you are trying to push it back out as you push it in, this opens the anus slightly making it easier to insert anything. I enjoy anal but it can vary quite a lot - sometimes it feels amazing and other times it’s uncomfortable so if you find it uncomfortable, don’t give up, you might find it better next time!

Once you are happy and totally comfortable with a small plug, work up to a slightly larger one and possibly suggest that your partner tries using the smaller one with you. Preferably it would be sensible to keep working up in size until you reach something that is a similar circumference to your partner. I would also suggest trying a dildo that is a little smaller than your partner before trying to take him.

When you feel ready to have anal sex with him, i would suggest that he gets you warmed up with smaller toys first and make sure you use lots of lube! That being said, the first time we had anal sex i didn’t warm up at all and i still enjoyed it!

Enjoy experimenting, take your time and enjoy.

I should add that if you don’t like it at all, that’s fine, it’s not for everyone and it’s ok to say no to your partner if you don’t enjoy it x


Welcome to the forum :partying_face:
Have you considered purchasing one of LoveHoneys anal starter kits?
It comes with a nice selection of items including a bulb douche so you can practice cleaning out before playtime.

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Get some good lube and start small then work your way up in size nothing to it really

I’m after getting a prostate massager, have tried ones before but this is way bigger. Any tips on how to jump to something so much bigger?

A lot of lube and patience and follow @Kitty-Cat01s advice of


That’s great, will do. Has a remote control which think will help rather than having to keep putting hand down to press button. Only get tempted to touch cock then and want to have hands free orgasm for first time. It’s why I went bigger but after seeing it as made me nervous

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Use your other ones as a warm up :tipping_hand_man:t2:


Great advice there. Time, patience and working up. No one goes from the occasional walk to running an marathon and no one’s butt needs to either :joy:

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Every time this questions is asked people talk about training. My partner and i tried toys and stretching her slowly and she could never get into it.

Now we have some vaginal foreplay, use plenty of lube and always start slowly in the spooning position. I thrust slowly until she is used to it and then change position and she is ready for full anal sex. And she absolutely loves it! I never put a finger or toy in her anus first.

So just keep your ideas open and try different ways, training is not always the easiest or most comfortable way.

Agree with you totally there @ValleyCouple

The first thing I had in there was a penis…no fingers or toys or any lube…to be honest I think a penis is less intimidating than toys or fingers for the first time…and although I don’t have anal sex very often that’s the way that works for me…and I love it.

Not to be crude, but a lot of poo’s are girthier than a toy or penis, and you don’t need training to get one of those through. So a bit of lube and patience should be suffice.

You don’t NEED to train or stretch to be able to do anal. In fact, anyone’s sphincter can easily stretch around most cocks.
But it is far more comfortable if you slowly increase the size of object. I am quite experienced in anal play and can comfortably take a 6.5 inch girth, but it is so much easier and more pleasurable if I start my session at 4.5 inches and work up in 1 inch increments.
My wife has been receiving anal for the last year or two, where previously she couldn’t manage it. We bought the colt anal dilator kit in 5 sizes. She uses the smallest 3 to gently prepare herself and after a couple minutes of this anal is easy for her.
Comfortable anal play is all about training your mind to accept the intrusion. Otherwise your muscles involuntarily contact. Your rectum has 2 sphincters: the outer one which you can voluntarily contract and relax, and the inner one which you have little control over.
Secondly, repeatedly inserting toys or fingers helps to insert enough lube.
So please don’t confuse gentle preparation for stretching, the muscles always return to their previous size after play.
There is of course a small number of people who intentionally stretch to ridiculous sizes and this does loosen the muscles, but this is at the extreme end and has no comparison to regular anal prep.

My first anal experience was an accident made by a tipsy other half who couldn’t find his way even if he had an A-Z. I’ve loved it since and now on my own, I bought an inflatable vibrating butt plug from LH and I love it. Goes in small (ish) then pump away till you fill up and start vibrating. The sensations take you to infinity and beyond, just with a different buzz :wink:

You could try the starter kit as mentioned before, just relax, add a dollop of lube and give the plug a gentle push and enjoy :blush: