In a nice open discussion about likes and dislikes I have just been told by my wife she wants to be tied up and tied to the bed :) But we don't know where to start. Like, what ties/rope do we buy? How do we even do it? All we got right now is tied spread eagled corner to corner, which don't get us wrong, will be awesome!! :)) But need ideas. Also how do we initiate it spontaneously? It won't happen all the time, probably just adding it to the repertoire, but when the mood takes us how to we do all this without killing the mood?
(I feel we owe a big thank you to FSOG!)
incase you havent seen this..
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/buyers-guide/
There is lots of advice there.
If you want to initiiate it spontaneously, then it will take a lot of planning on either your or her part to have things in place, but out of sight initially.
One of you will need to take the lead role in 'directing' your play time, and this sounds like it will be you if it is your OH who is going to be tied up.
In terms of what to use, there are lots of options from ropes to silky ties and leather cuffs. This is something you will both need to decide upon and take it from there.
To add to the spontaneous factor and to help avoid mood killing is to get a blind fold. This way if you do end up fumbling with the knots on the rope or whatever, your OH is unawares and simply waiting in anticipation as to what will happen next.
The other thing I can advise it to aways hve two or three things ready to pull out at any time, even if they are just simple bullets. Where you might be trying to untangle a rope to use which you swore you had prepared earlier, you can put it down, pull out a bullet or dildo as a distraction and get back to your rope without interupting the flow
Thanks Just Jenson. I did have a look but couldn't find another thread covering this topic. I guess I didn't look very hard! Your other advice is good thanks!
In a very similar situation to yourself , my wife suggested she always wanted to be tied of or restrained as this was a fantasy of hers.
We purchased form LH the Tracey Cox beginners pack for bondage. This only needs setting up once ie the leg ties are sucured to the bottom bed legs and the hand restraints are tied to the bed head. They are then left in situ under under the mattress ready for when used but hidden out of the way.
If you are unsure that she wants tying up at any point then ask when you cuddle over a drink ot watching TV etc.before you retire to the bedroom .
You could even make it more erotic for her by tying her hands up and blind fold her before leading her to the bed room . Before tying her to the bed I would think about disrobing her first as this can be quite awkward if tied fully clothed as you would need to untie her to undress her.This seams obvious but it is the mistake I made when trying it out for the first time .Another tip is to buy her some side tied panties which can be removed when fully tied up .My wife loves this .
Then enjoy her ..
It is best to do some initial planning before you think about having a session, this means that it will run more smoothly without killing the mood. Think about how you are going to restrain her to the bed we started out using scarf and ties then moved on to ropes and cuffs.
As Mysteron says there are under bed restraints that hide away under the mattress but can easily be pulled out when the mood takes you. Ropes are a good option if you are good at knots, but we find it a lot easier to use leather cuffs, they are easier to put on and no chance of uncomfortable rope burn. If you both like it you can then move on to overdoor restraints, spreader bars, etc.
During a session make sure you have various toys to hand so you can change things about based on her reactions. Blindfolds and giving her headphones with music is a great idea as it focuses her senses rather than hearing you crashes about looking for toys, lube etc.
Have fun and always talk to each other about the experiences so that you can improve on what she wants.
Thanks guys for your big responses. Plenty of ideas, has got us thinking different things. Perfect. Just what we needed!
Now just need to pick out some gear, which I'll get from the link posted. Cheers.
I have the Bondage Boutique under the bed restraints (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19809) and that makes it really easy for me to spontaneously do things.
I don't have a bedframe so I couldn't get ties for that. I had to look for something an this turned out to be better. It's really easy to adjust so I can have my partner spread-eagled or I can get creative and move the cuffs into the position that I decide. This was one of the things we bought a couple months after we discovered bondage and it still gets used like every week.
I'm not the best at planning scenes so having this and a drawer of toys means that doing things on-the-fly is really easy. The cuffs are velcro so it takes a minute tops. Once he's tied, I take my time getting the other toys to make him wait a bit ;P
I am actually in a somewhat similar situation. My wife has long enjoyed a good spanking, and we only recently started incorporating bondage, at her suggestion. I qas worried about the awkwardness of tying her up, the time it takes and keeping the energy going while remembering everything from Boy Scouts tying knots. We had a good idea for how she wanted to be tied, and once it started, the mood seemed to carry a bit more naturally than I had expected. Yes, it took a bit of fiddling and what you might call awkwardness, but it was our first time trying it and neither of us let the awkward take hold. We used the bondage boutique spft cotton shibari rope from the website, and she was more than pleased with it from a comfort standpoint as well as how restrained she felt. I would also say to do real research into how to tie up someone. I did not, and having bindings slide down her thighs was definitely something the slowed momentum. Also, we bought a pretty long length of rope and I will cut it into more manageable pieces in the future, more properly measured to tie her arms, legs, etc. instead of trying to tie her all up with one long rope (which worked out fine, actually, and we may do it again, but having pieces pre-cut to size would've streamlined the process).
Hope this helps, since I don't really have any expert advice just my recent learning experiences.
Have fun!
This is a nice little starter kit, not too intimidating & easy to use, has a blindfold as well, have fun.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25727
there is a lot of different options that come under bdsm; chastity, restraining, wax play, role play, the list goes on. It can be soft or hard, it all depends on your likes.
It's all about communication and respect. Talk to eachother about your likes/dislikes, what you are willing to try and not try. Have a safe word prepared, in case either of you become a little uncomfy with it.
Have fun x