Me and my partner like a bit of rough kinky sex but I do like having a good spanking and he likes doing it what is the best way advice please
I don't think there is the "best way". Think about what you both like about spanking and go from there.
Is is the pain/sensation - start slow and increase the intensity, maybe add a toy such as a paddle
Is it a "punishment" fantasy - over the knee is often best, maybe add some dress up or approriate dialogue (calling you a naughty girl or whatever)
Do you like it during penetrative sex - doggy style is easiest but you on top will work well
If you like long spanking sessions - position that is most comfortable for you both, such as you laying on a bed.
Adding something different? - start clothed, say a short skirt, spank through it then push it up and continue to spank through underwear before taking the underwear off and spanking your bare bottom.
Try spanking the tops of the thighs, between the thighs or even your vulva (not everyone likes these so start slowly and lightly)
Add kegal balls with free roaming weights to add some stimulation (this can also be done with a butt plug containing free roaming balls). Add a clitoral stimulator/vibrator.
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Good post from Kelly_Michelle. I know what I like and don't like if I'm being spanked, and I know what he likes and doesn't like if he's being spanked, but everyone is different. Pick the bits you like from the menu and tell your partner what you want.
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We use a stool and then I tend to do gentle spanks and work my way up as this helps blood flow to the fleshy areas and stops bruising. If we’re in a very rough session then gentle spanks to her intimate areas are always a favourite but we do this with a leg spreader attached to her ankles as it stops flinching. Doggystyle is a firm favourite position, standing with hands on a side like the kitchen surface is also really nice as it gives her more of a power stance and allows harder spanks. This is also great for paddles as it doesn’t seem to bruise as much due to the butt muscles tightening and thighs.
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Really useful 
Our first step as wife opened up she wants to be wiped , tied up and dominated but also want to be the dominator.
First purchase after valentines little gift.
Can I suggest you try a real riding crop - can be bought online or in some sports stores - bear in mind the smaller the leather at the end the more it will sting and possibly bruise.
Definitely another vote for spanking while in doggy style. Gives him easy access with both hands. The other one we enjoy is with me on top facing away from him while he lies reclined on the bed. Again, this gives him easy access with both hands. I personally find it enjoyable for a spank to be given at the same time as particularly deep, hard thrusts. We tend to use it in the context of punishment (naughty girl) rather than pain so he doesnt spank hard enough to hurt, but it is enough that it makes a good sound. Enjoy and have fun!
I love your input and ideas. My new girlfriend Tina is fairly dominant and very athletic and last month she first tried something that a friend of hers told her she did with her BF. We had spanked each others many times– sometimes just for fun before going out, sometimes as an entree to sex, sometimes for us to just release some stress.
Well, Tina knows I absolutely love her scent and find her sweet, intense musk a total turn-on, as many men do with women. So, she stuffed her panties in my mouth and then after about 5 minutes of moderately intense warm-up spanks started spanking low across both ass cheeks repeatedly– harder, faster, harder. Not sure if you have ever done this or had it done to you, but it resonates through your core via your asshole and genitals. It definitely keeps me more than a bit distracted from the pain.
This first time she did this over her knee, Tina stopped a couple times to stroke gently across my balls and asshole, which had me littterally throbbing with each heart beat. Then she finished me up intensely with about maybe 50 or so really hard spanks across both cheeks low and solid and resonating deeply until I exploded.
She could tell it was building up, and trapped my flailing legs with hers. Tina’s a 5’10” pro level volleyball player who works-out and swims a lot during the week, so she can spank really hard. I mean, she can make me cry with just her hand if she wants to, and I never thought I would cry from a hand spanking. I also never thought I would want to be spanked that hard, but she makes it such a turn-on (also, it does provide for amazing stress relief for both of us, as she gets a work-out and I become spent physically and emotionally, and drop into a relaxed state. It’s a really cathartic experience that I find I benefit from every so often, and she can vent her frustrations a bit too).
Anyway, during that first otk spanking she gave me where I came, I could tell she was really enjoying it too, as my bucking hips and legs trapped against her pussy had her soaked… and the fact she’s turned on by spanking helps for sure also. I could see her uncovered pussy pooling her arousal on the seat of the wooden chair, which turned me on even more.
Tina definitely loved it, but wasn’t done, so she straddled my face and came really hard and wet in less than a minute, marking me with her scent in the best possible way!
Since then, she used a small vibrator in my ass, which allowed me to cum twice last weekend. Wow, did it hurt between cuming the first time and before I was totally aroused and hard again. That in itself was an amazing experience, which turned me on again most of Monday as I sad down and felt my ass still a bit sore and recalled everything– her hand, her bare thighs, her wonderful scent, my ass getting red and my ass and cock throbbing.
Anyway, human sexuality is a wonderful thing.