Blow jobs - Questions

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hi. I’m new here, this is my first post.

I’m 52 years old my mate is 54. I’ll admit I’ve never been big on bj’s. However, I met him a bit over a year and a half ago. He changed how I felt about them. I began enjoying it, I enjoy all of it with him.

We watch porn together, are very vocal about likes dislikes, toys, we enjoy a very robust sex life. I did research on how to give blow jobs. Seriously, read about them, watched videos with him. He says I have mastered it all except - the finish. I can’t get there. I fall apart. Generally at this point we have been having sex for several hours, three to four - with a few breaks. Or I have been giving him a bj for 2 to 3 hours (yes ED is an issue) again with a few breaks. I always stimulate the head and male g-spot but not overly so.

But for about the last month or so he has insisted it needs to be “In the spot” in my mouth. Except the damn spot keeps moving. So I can’t finish him because just when I think I have the spot, it changes.

Is there a “magic” spot? Please help. This is so frustrating.

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2

Hellooooo, hmmm depending on the person not sure, or how about on the frenulum

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Hi @Sexy_Redhead that does sound frustrating especially with the amount of effort you are putting in to make this work.

Are you stimulating the prostate while he is in your mouth? Is that what he means?

Different things will feel good at different times,
I’m sure some penis owners will give some advice but as someone who has licked a P or 2, I’ve never had anyone say that the ‘spot’ keeps moving.

If you do your regular touching and exploring, take mental notes of what is making his breath catch, what is making him shake/shudder and stimulate those parts more when he’s close.

Have a read of this thread for ideas :peach: :eggplant: Oral Sex Superbowl I have this one saved and I refer back to it every now and again.

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4

I think oral for a guy can be overated but i am bias.Not sure i have ever cum from oral in my life without me helping it along.I think its often no always down to what one person is doing or not.I think porn has led to everyone thinking they will perform the same.Much kike women who sometimes squirt and then dont.

Tiredness age hydration.Oral sex is sometimes not all its cracked up to be.

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@Sexy_Redhead, it is the friction applied, by the lips on the shaft or the tongue on the underside of gland which usually has the desired effect. Also masturbating the shaft whilst he is in your mouth might also assist him in cumming. It is very much trial and error with communication which will have you both enjoying the experience.

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6

I’ve blown a fair few in my advanced years…and found all have not liked it the same. Communication is an important factor as I enjoy giving them so much that I orgasm from giving them without being touched myself…so want to get it spot on for the individual.

I have been with an ED sufferer and gone at it for hours with explosive results for both of us.
That partner liked it deep…shallow and fast towards climax but found getting the angle and rhythm right initially difficult but once got it spot on amazing for both of us…liking it slow from tip to bottom to start with a tongue roll at the tip.

We are all different and like things in different ways that’s what makes us individual I guess… exploring each other and finding what pleasures our partner is a great journey. I’m sure you’ll master his preferences soon.

Have fun along the way & Good Luck.

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Interesting topic. I’m not he knows what he wants to be honest…

Mrs. Val is fantastic at a BJ, but her jaw would fall off if it was me laying back in the dark focusing only on the stimulation. I too could go for hours but by then the head of my boy would be worn out.

Combo of hand job, oral, PIV, back to hand, then oral, then letting finger her or reverse and let me 69 her while she is performing oral on me and I am shooting in minutes.

It’s all about the intensity and environment, the entire process. If he is sitting back and expecting to cum in your mouth with you doing all the work, he is dreaming. The whole mind and body needs to be engaged. Tell him to start giving back and good things will happen… :laughing: :wink:

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9

Hi @Sexy_Redhead

That made me smile - sounds almost identical to me understanding my wife’s sexual needs :star_struck: :joy: :heart_eyes:

She says her ‘spot’ moves around - too funny. But that’s why she is very involved in her own pleasure when we are together, with fingers and toys. It might be the same for your partner. He might need to get his hands doing something while you are using your mouth / tongue.

I actually find that a huge turn on myself.

For me, I was never crazy about BJs because my previous partners were pretty intent on trying to make me cum, after the first minute or two. For me, it stopped being enjoyable, and I would get really in my head about a) trying to cum and b) worrying about my partner doing all the work.

My wife changed all that. She is amazing with BJs and it’s really because of the difference with the two things above, plus just how turned on she makes me.

She does not try and make me cum at all - she teases, she takes it slow, she stops … just very focused on a pleasurable sensation.

Also, I actually relax because I finally stopped worrying about me being on the receiving end. I know she genuinely wants to do it - and enjoys it. Also - we kind of take it in turns to be receivers, so there is equity :slight_smile:

The other main thing is that I get very turned as she looks at me in the eye a lot, we laugh and I talk to her and often, she will wear lingerie and look very sexy.

Something that really froths my coffee is she will often lay across me, and then use her fingers on herself, for some clit stimulation. At the same time, I will insert fingers into her, very gently.

If we are really heated, she might use a Womanizer and I’ll use a dildo in there.

For us, it’s all pretty gentle and very sensual, and it feels like we both get mutual pleasure and not ‘goal’ oriented at all.

I don’t know if any of that is relevant or helpful.

Good luck with the adventures :heart_eyes:

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10

Hello Everyone,

Thank you all for the wonderful replies! But I think you guys misunderstood “The Spot” it’s not on him. His penis has to be in the exact right place in my mouth. If it is the tiniest bit out of place he says he can’t.

Usually we have porn on. For added stimulation. Sometimes he touches me while I am doing it. Mostly he lays back and enjoys. He will tell me how good it feels. But basically he wants me to put him in a coma. His words. Oral is his favorite thing.

So the spot for him is, tip of the head “floats” but the rest gets stimulated from the roof of my mouth, tongue, cheeks and lips. He is telling me it shouldn’t be this hard for me, to get it there and keep it there.

But he keeps changing that spot in my mouth. I know this because my mouth is only so big. The roof of my mouth is only so big. There are only so many places his penis can go on the roof of my mouth before he is hitting my teeth on the inside top on the sides.

Any thoughts?

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Totally misunderstood what you were saying and I’m sorry but you saying…

Is making me lol
He’s being a bit rude with how he is speaking to you, maybe his frustrating demanding attitude is keeping him from going into a coma, a frying pan to the head might work :rofl: (jokes)

Is he wanting deepthroat? Thats the only way I can see everywhere but the head being stimulated, though the head would be stimulated by your throat.

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12

Hi JoCat,

I do deepthroat while working him up to the main event. It took me a bit of work on the gag reflex, then learning how to get it through but I did it and can even give him about three to four strokes before my gag reflex kicks in and I have to come up. But considering I couldn’t do it at all two months ago - I’ll take it. So no it’s not deepthroat. He even says it’s not, deepthroat he needs.

Maybe he’s just looking for excuses for it not to work?

Red

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13

Awful hard to do it to himself.

I think he should be a little more grateful, personally.

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14

Hi @Sexy_Redhead
Hmmm … sounds like hard work.
I read this a few times but - for me personally - don’t find it relatable.
I just don’t quite understand it to be honest - feels like I look for something different out of the experience so can’t really comment. Deepthroat doesn’t appeal to me either, and my wife giving me a BJ is all the stimulation I need visually, so don’t have a need for porn. I think our sex is about the deep connection to each other, but that’s just our own vibe.
Hey - we’re all different though. If I was that guy, I would appreciate your effort!
Hope he’s grateful you care about him :slight_smile:
Good luck finding your answers :heart: :slight_smile:

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15

I’m sorry but this really annoys me, it takes time to learn your partners’ body, and if they can’t communicate their wants and needs clearly, while proceeding to just expect you to ‘know’ what they want/like, it’s one of the most frustrating things to then have it turned around on you, when you’re the only one making the effort.

Seems you’re the one making the effort to get him there, and he’s not really contributing (by failing to clearly tell you what it is he wants), which could also be a barrier for him finishing. If he can’t tell you exactly what it is he wants, either before, during or after, how are you supposed to know?

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It’s very dedicated of you to put the effort in @Sexy_Redhead. :heart: If he’s looking to lie back and relax maybe some extra stimulation of the balls or perineum with a vibrator might help, or electrical gear like the Viper (plus a KIX or TENS machine to drive it).

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17

Apologies if I’ve got this wrong but it seems to me that he’s being a bit ungrateful. You spend hours giving him oral, you’ve researched and watched videos to try to get it right. I wonder if he is getting frustrated because his ED is not letting him finish in the way that he wants to? Is he getting any help from his GP with the ED? It might be worth a further conversation with his GP if it’s taking hours to orgasm, I’m just thinking that, if he can get the right medication and support for the ED, the problem might be more easily solved? It sounds like you’re doing everything that you can and it might be time for him to accept that he might need to experiment with new things rather than expecting the same method to work all the time.

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That would be best way to describe for me I think @DLJL, to be more specific just under the helmet I’d say. That would be where my ‘spot’ is that I think you’re referring to @Sexy_Redhead, basically where foreskin is attached at back. It’s both pressure and friction.

Oh wow, @Sexy_Redhead, just read this:

I’d tell him to do it himself then, if it cannot be that hard!!
Especially after reading the efforts you’ve gone to:

I echo other peoples views, sounds pretty ungrateful after the efforts of research and practice you have done. Has he reciprocated your efforts to master your pleasure also? I really hope so.
Maybe return the favor and advise him he keeps missing the spot and it shouldn’t be that difficult.

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Hello Everyone,

I had a talk with my boyfriend. We agreed to take the pressure off of getting to the main event - for both of us. To work on a few things.

So the first night - I focused, with his help, just on “the spot”. Finding it, keeping it there. And we ended up getting to the main event!

Next night - kept the pressure off us both again. Kept the same focus. To be sure I was comfortable and really had it. Then added some pressure at stages. Again ended up at the main event!

Last night - kept the pressure off us both. Worked on pressure and keeping a steady pace. I did struggle with this a bit - but again we made it to the main event!

Three nights in a row! That’s a record for me! Yes I will be going for number four tonight. But honestly, breaking it down and talking each step through has mad all the difference.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement!

Red

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Hey @Sexy_Redhead
That guy really should have a huge smile on his face, and a great deal of appreciation!
I hope he’s putting the same enthusiasm and energy into taking care of your needs :star_struck:

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Hey, that’s awesome @Sexy_Redhead! I’m so glad you were able to talk with him and that he took it well! Working together definitely helps things move a bit faster than doing it solo! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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