As has been said above, BDSM isn't abuse. But this isn't about labels.
At the end of the day, BDSM is fine. But you might never be comfortable doing it, and that's fine too.
If you're into reading, try a book caked The Secret Life Of A Submissive, by Sarah K. It's a true story written by an experienced sub, but it recalls how she got into it. A very well written and easy introduction. It covers a lot of concerns in a great way. Maybe one for your OH to read too.