Okay so, my partner has always been against boob jobs but in the last 2/3 weeks really wants one.. I know for a long time shes been very unhappy about her body, as shes lost a lot of weight shes lost most of it around her belly and breasts.. now shes an 8/10 and shes gone form a dd to b/c ... anyway.. I love her how she is and tell her how beautiful she is and how she doesnt need it done..
Now last week she keeps telling me that i like big breasts and thats another reason she has to get them done..
Im not fussed either way , as i explained to her , the one biggest thing that turns me on about her, is her mind, im in love with who she is not how she looks or what she wears etc..
But still she wants them done..
I want to know , as ill be next to her all the way, 1. should she see someone, as i believe shes doing it out of depression 2. if she goes through with it who should she go to? 3. what are the risks ? 4. anything else really!!
we have around 7/8 friends who have had it done and has been checking theirs out.. since my friends got them done they are so willing to get them out... which makes me feel wierd... but she likes the idea of MYA but knows their aftercare if awful... I have around 8k spare right now saving for my wedding, but she wants them for the wedding also.. something about better dress blah blah haha ..
but your right , i will take her to a doctor.. but shes too much like me... stubborn.. and shes made up her mind... I just dont want her to do it for me .. i get a wierd feeling it is for me..
If you take her through the NHS first she would have to have councelling sessions as part of the process. They may recommend an uplift rather than enlargement, or both.
Also she has to be really ready to deal with the consequences. It will be painful after its done and she will have to wait some time to actually take her bra off and sleeping in a bra is really annoying. And it has to be really firm one, to have the breasts in a sort of corset. This is personal experience after having breast surgery done, but I had medical reasons, as I had lump in one of them, luckily a cyst only. And she will also have to deal with the scars. Which will look really ugly for some time, before starting to fade. Plus there are other risks.
But if she is for it, then she should consult the doctor.But if you have feeling its for you, I guess you have to tell her that. I know my partner hates the feel of breasts with implants in them. Although I understand that the woman has the last word in it if she wants this done.
Firstly, and most importantly, is that she's absolutely not in the right frame of mind right now to be making such an important decision as getting a surgical procedure done. Clearly she has deep steated insecurities about her body, and she probably felt that losing the weight would be the answer, but now that she's lost it and found out that nothing has changed she's desperately looking for something else, and suddenly a boob job seems like the ideal quick fix, and answer to her problems. Like losing the weight, getting a bigger bust won't solve her issues, and any doctor worth his salt should turn her down for the procedure after an initial consultations, due to her unrealistic expectations of the outcome.
The problem with these sort of self-esteem issues is that there's little you can do to help from the outside. You can tell her how beautiful and attractive she is until you're blue in the face, but until she can believe that about herself, she'll just dismiss what you're saying as something that you're obliged to say as her boyfriend, regardless of the truth. Counselling is a good option, as it will help her get to the root of her body image issues, and learn ways to overcome them, but it'll be a gradual process. You might also want to take her shopping in the meantime, getting her something nice to wear might boost her confidence, and make sure she gets measured for a new bra, I read a statistic once that 7/10 women wear the wrong sized bra, and getting one that fits properly will make the most of what bust she has.
If after everything she still wants it done when she's of sound mind, you have to consider some other issues. The cost is a major one, and by the sound of things you'll be footing the bill, do you really want to be investing your life savings in this sort of thing? Not to mention they recommend implants be changed every ten years, so this is a lifetime committment. In the here and now it means less money for the wedding, for the honeymoon, to start a family, etc. What if the relationship doesn't last? You don't get to keep the boobs you paid for once she's gone. There are also risks of complications from the surgery, and disatisfaction with the result.
Be careful, don't let her rush in, and if you do take her to see a surgeon then make sure to raise all your concerns with him about her motivations and what she expects to achieve.
You might also want to take her shopping in the meantime, getting her something nice to wear might boost her confidence, and make sure she gets measured for a new bra, I read a statistic once that 7/10 women wear the wrong sized bra, and getting one that fits properly will make the most of what bust she has.
That's a great idea. Get the bra first, since trying on clothes with a 'bad' bra will only make her look worse than she does. If she has a trusted girlfriend or sister or anything, might be good to bring them along, too, since she'll need someone there who she knows is good with clothes and not blinded by love (but unless they're close, don't, since adding an audience could make it worse).
If she's really stuck on the idea, you could always make a deal, where you stick a pin in it for one year, and if she still really wants to go for it after that time, then ye can look into it. That gives her time to get her head straight and really consider the implications, as well as explore other ways of making herself feel better, and meanwhile the pressure to fight you on the decision is off so her focus can go back to being on her right now.
Sorry to barge back in, but just stumbled upon something in my internet-trawlage that might be of interest: http://truepleasures.blogspot.com/2010/02/review-of-hynotic-body-breast.html
It's a review of a hypnosis program that apparently increases breast size and/or helps fill out slack breasts after weight loss or pregnancy. I can't vouch for it, and I'll be honest, I am skeptical of the claim that hypnosis sessions can make your boobs change size/shape, but the review there seems genuine, and at $40 it's probably worth a shot if only to see if the placebo effect does anything to help her: just being active and doing something may be enough to make her feel more confident and happy. Definitely less of a risk than surgery, both financially and health-wise.
I had my boobs 'done' just over three years ago; and haven't regretted it one bit since. HOWEVER, I'd wanted them done for about 10 years, I did a lot of research beforehand, I went for consultations with several different companies, discounted the one that made me feel really uncomfortable, had a second consultation with two companies, and made my final choice from there.
Yes, it was "a bit" sore for a fortnight, but my "a bit" sore is somebody else's holiday, and a third persons' hell. The worst part for me was sleeping on the sofa for the first few nights, and then sleeping on my back for another few weeks.
If you're really concerned about her having depression, do get her to seek help (e.g. FirstSteps); but don't expect that to 'fix' the issue, if it isn't a mental health issue.
Many women have breast implants, but I would never support someone I care about to have them (unless of course the worst happens : breast cancer...).
I had a gf who was talking about getting herself done, but I assured her I liked her the way she was and would most likely be put off if she was to become anything unnatural. So, to my knowlege, she is still with her small cute breasts!!!
I was once with a girl , long time ago, her breasts felt a bit strange, it was only later it dawned on me that they must have been fake. I know you would wonder how come I did not think about that at the time, but breast implanst were not so widely available as today, or I was too ignorant, but anyway, I did not like the feel of those othewise beautiful breasts.
One thing to be careful though is that doctors sometimes tend to push towards plastic surgery, especially if they have financial interest in the matter. So do not entrust you GF to a breast implant specialist for help, most likely he will say things that make her decide for surgery.
You can read a lot about the risks and negative sides of having implants on the net! Really, if it's not broken don't fix it is my view on any type of agressive intervention in ones body!
As others suggested, your gf needs a self-esteem boost so do all you can do invent ways of providing such a boost. I suppose, small things like kissing her boobs, caressing them with obvious pleasure (but don't over react as she would think you are faking it) may help !
Thats the thing, i do allllll of these things, tell her how beautiful she is and how she looks, i tried the underwear thing, compliment her yada yada... nothing seems to work..
we have aorund 8 friends (some i found out NYE) have breat enlargement and have given her a lot of advice and also which doctors, pain, what to do etc! so we have a lot of information..
I dont have an opinion on breast englargements as i don't care if she has them or not.. she's still thwe women i love. Just needed a heads up i reckon :)
My advice is to never have something life altering done, whilst depressed. It's something that needs a lot of thought put in to, by that, I mean a fair year or so, not a few weeks on a whim.
If she has it done, i would strongly suggest not to go bigger than a D (if that was her original size). I'm a very large breasted woman and they kill my back. I also think these women that get sizes way out of their body match, look silly.
I had a friend who was a DD before babies, after 3 kids, she was a BB. She had a boob job back to a D and looks fantastic but the agony she was in, for the following weeks, was a killer.
I want a nose job. I have done for about 8 years I just haven't got round to doing it yet. I think as long as shes sure go for it.
When you go to reputable clinics they offer in depth consultation sessions first. It's worth paying more to get the right result and full checks done first.