Butt Plugs

Sex Tips & Talk
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Looking for some advice…

Despite being quite a kinky couple, we are quite new to anything anal. My husband is obsessed with my butt. We’ve only had anal sex a few times (one of which was just the other night) and I can honestly say it doesn’t do much for me. He knows this and would never pressure me, but he does keep suggesting that me wearing a butt plug would be a massive turn on. I’m curious to try. I love anything that turns him on more as I like him to be quite dominant in the bedroom! We have been looking at some of the jewelled butt plugs on LH.

I guess my questions are…

Is a butt plug just going to make him want anal sex even more? He says it would just be a big turn on for him. I’m keen if it’s going to turn him on, but not if it’s going to make him want something he knows I’m not so keen on.

What enjoyment do guys get out of seeing their Mrs wearing one?

Lastly, any tips on how to get the most out of me wearing a butt plug, for my enjoyment as well as his? Positions etc.

Thanks.

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Whether it will make him want anal sex more is something only time will tell. It’s may be that he is perfectly satisfied with just seeing a toy there and that will be enough or it could be a gateway to wanting more. I’d suggest asking him specifically why he would like to see you wear one (beyond just “it looks hot” or “it would turn me on”).

I’m not a guy and don’t have a Mrs, but as all the people I’ve slept with have had butt holes, I feel I am qualified to answer your next question. There are lots of different reasons why someone might enjoy their partner using a butt plug. It could be simply aesthetics (it looks good or kinky or naughty or taboo), it could be that he believes it will give you pleasure and he wants that, it can also be more pleasurable for both of you during PIV sex as they can compress the size of the vagina canal. From a kink perspective, if the sub is wearing it then it can often be an ownership thing but as you said you are the more dominant one, it could be more like blocking access to a forbidden area kind of thing. He may also just like including a sex toy and butt plugs are one of the easiest to use as you just insert and leave them in there.

In terms of pleasure, it depends on the plug you end up going for. Vibrating ones will be more pleasurable and he will be able to feel it while he is inside you. Plugs with remotes can be fun. You can hand the remote to him or keep it yourself and just let him watch you enjoy the sensations (without having to reach and control from the base).

There are also plugs which have weighted balls inside them that move with you and therefore work best with positions that you move the most in.

Otherwise, from behind (and particularly doggy style) will give him the best view of the plug. However if there are any positions you struggle with due to tightness or tilt of your vaginal canal then it’s probably best to avoid them.

The other thing that could maximise his pleasure would be matching butt plugs.

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@Calie has already given a great answer. As a man I will second the opinion that just looking at one during vaginal sex can be a huge turn on.
I had an ex partner who had never done anal sex before. Although we tried it once she was indifferent to it. But…one thing she loved, which came as a result of us doing anal play, was wearing a jewelled butt plug then bending over for doggy style vaginal sex. Lovehoney do some great jewelled butt plugs which look stunning when used in this way. There’s something about seeing a shiny jewel there whilst she was bent over that was an indescribable turn on. She liked the feel of having both holes filled and I could also feel the plug pressing on my penis during doggystyle sex. There are other positions where this would work like reverse cowgirl.
So basically wearing one might be something you’re both getting enjoyment from and it doesn’t involve full anal sex.

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@agirlnamedS

Sorry I don’t have a lot of experience with butt plugs, I just bought my very 1st one - it looks so cute, I’m very excited to try it.
I was worried how big it was but when I opened it I was relieved at the size, perfect for a beginner.

Check it out

Just a thought … You say you don’t like anal with your hubby. I just wondered, as cocks are pretty big, have you ever tried using something small like his fingers or anal beads to see if you find that much more enjoyable?

As from experience, when we were much younger, I let me husband try - it was awful, didn’t use enough lube, he didn’t take it slow and all I got was pain.
So basically I never let him do that again until just very recently. And it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be!

Since we have been using fingers and toys I think it has helped to prepare my ass for the real thing so I can actually enjoy it.

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If you fancy a bit of further reading Lovehoney have a few guides that you might find useful?

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Thanks all. I do enjoy anal sex it’s just not something I want to do very often as I love PIV sex with him sooooo much. He does stick a finger in my butt occasionally, and I’d say I’m pretty indifferent to it. It doesn’t feel bad, nor does it feel amazing.

If a butt plug is going to turn him on more then I’m keen. I love the idea of him looking at it whilst doing me.

I was looking at the same one as you @Cupc8kes
Think I’ll go for it!

Thanks everyone.

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@Calie I did ask him why and all I got was “it would be a turn on” :woman_facepalming:t3: I’ve asked him to think harder and tell me more!

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I love my wife wearing one. It looks really nice ( you can get all sorts) and it makes everything down there really tight which is great for both of you.

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I love my wife wearing one too! She was initially kind of ambivalent about them but has come to enjoy wearing one and will sometimes pop one in and just wear it around the house. We’ve got several jeweled ones in different sizes and colors. We also have this one which is pretty awesome.

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You have some great answers. Not sure what it can lead to talk to him is best.
I support the opinion that it looks very hot!
The links that @Ian_Chimp put are very helpful.
As for position, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl & doggy I would recommend. He should get a good view of the butt plug on 2 of those.

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Hey @agirlnamedS, some excellent advice already.

I’d say just be really clear on your boundaries, and your partner should respect that. Pleasing other people can be a huge turn on in itself, but do make sure it’s something you want to do as well. I’d recommend experimenting with them by yourself during solo play initially so you know how it feels, what works for you, how much lube you need (always more than you think), and what actions make it pleasurable for you. You can then introduce it into partnered play. If you’re feeling nervous when it comes to partnered play then I’d put it in by yourself first before sex, so you can do it in your own time and feel more relaxed.

I love butt plugs and beads during sex, rimming and fingers, but also not a fan of larger toys/anal penetration - it’s just one of those things that isn’t for everyone so please don’t feel like you have to do it if it doesn’t give you pleasure. I enjoy butt plugs during sex as they narrow your vaginal wall, and so can help to direct the penis towards your G-spot, and just give a really nice full feeling.

I love the jewelled metal butt plugs, and have similar to the one you’ve been looking at. I would however be inclined to recommend a silicone one for your first - they give a bit more movement whereas the metal ones (and glass) are rigid. They do feel amazing but I’m glad I worked up to it as they feel bigger, and give more of a “full” feeling. There are some silicone jewelled ones - these come with two different sizes, so you could see which you prefer/build up if you wanted to, but you could also have them as his and hers.

For all anal toys it’s really important to have a flared base. I also find for use during partnered play the ones with smaller necks are more comfortable. Position wise, anything goes really. Face down doggy and reverse cowgirl where your hands are on his ankles/face down will give him a wonderful view. Laying on your side with him behind also works. As others have said, sometimes just knowing that it’s there is a huge part of it, and he will probably be able to feel it as well.

I mentioned earlier, but don’t forget lube. If you go for silicone ones you’ll need a water based one. When inserting apply to the toy and yourself, go in as far as feels comfortable, take back out and apply more lube, and keep repeating :blush: Take your time with it and don’t rush.

Most importantly, enjoy a new experience!

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With metal plugs you aren’t tied to water based lube. I find oil based, like this curiously named Golden Girl much less messy

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Thanks everyone. I don’t think I have many boundaries as such, but I don’t want to encourage his obsession with my ass as I know he’ll fixate on it and I’ll get less of what I want. I don’t dislike doing butt stuff - it just doesn’t do a lot for me!

We talked a bit more last night and I think a butt plug is the best solution. Turn on for him, while I still get all the pleasure I want (and if it enhances things for both of us then great!).

I’m not going to tell him I’m getting one. Going to give him a blow job with my back to the mirror and let him spot it!

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@agirlnamedS that surprise is going to be so dam good for him, he will love it :blush:

I’m dying to get THIS one next!

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@Cupc8kes
:smile: whao.!! I’m sure that will be a “tale” to tell.

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