Lube your butt well, lube the toy well.
Take it slow.
If it is a p spot just move back and forward slowly at first. This will also help spread more if the lube
Try laying on your back with legs spread and look at something you enjoy. Relax.
Hope this helps.
I went from a tiny metal plug in this set to a larger soft silicone one here then to a similar-ish p-spot toy
My partner found it hot so pleasing her was good.
She eventually tried a silicone strap on but the way that one was designed didn’t work too well.
We ended up liking this one
I eventually purchased some Lovense toys and enjoy the Lovense Edge 2 which is amazing. A little big at first but once its in you can turn it on and sync it to a phone app for a lot of fun. Solo, with partner in same room or even across the world.
I did get a medium/large regular metal plug at one point. It can be a bit difficult in and out.
Materials
Important.
Silicone is soft and is easier to handle than the same thing in metal or glass.
I strongly suggest you stick to silicone, metal or glass as most other materials are porous which means they have micro holes and after cleaning them they can still hold dirt and build up bacteria. Bad bad.
I eventually even stepped up to a wolf like thing from elsewhere.
I hope that some of this info helps.