Sorry I know I’m new and this is my second post in my 2 days here.
I received my first ever butt plug today. I was very nervous to try it out, but I figured it’d be right up my alley as I’m bisexual and it’s always been a curiosity of mine, especially that famous P spot.
Anyway, I ordered the 7 function, 4 inch one that’s on Lovehoney as it was on sale, figured it’d be a good way to start as I have sharp nails, and like them so didn’t really want to trim them.
Tried it out with lots of lube, and it was so uncomfortable. I’d heard so many stories about the P spot and how good Anal stimulation was, but this was really uncomfortable and I really couldn’t stay hard while it was in me.
I’m honestly scared to try it again, and I actually got a refund from LH, but they said to not worry about returning the product - did I order a bad butt plug? Did I not use it properly? Did I not give it a proper go?
Anyways that’s the situation, anyone got any advice for me?
I agree with Lufc, it can be a bit big for the first time. Start with a smaller and take it slow and easy. You definitely don’t need to stress using a big one.
And make sure you are relaxed. You can find good lube and sprays that are a little relaxing as well.
I hope you find a good plug, there is something for everyone
Okay, I thought it’d be a good beginners one but it makes sense if it was too big. Is there a type which is easier for beginners? The one I have is the one linked above, with the curved end.
I guess my best suggestionis to start with a “straight” not the curved ones. And the size of small. Some of them have vibrator and some are without. That is actually something you need to try out and see what you like.
If you look around I think you’ll see that there’s a lot to choose from. And some comes in three sizes too, small, medium and large.
I’m going to disagree and say I’m not sure size is the issue here.
Using a thicker lubricant (ie an anal one) will help, and make sure you lube yourself and the toy.
From there, take it slow and steady. Being turned on is a good thing but don’t focus on trying to stay hard, it isn’t uncommon for people to lose their erections during anal play. Turn the vibration on and use it externally on the anus first, as this will help relax the muscles. When you are ready, turn the vibration off (as it can be too much straight away) and gently push the toy in. Try and keep your muscles as relaxed as possible, as tense muscles will cause discomfort. Insert a centimetre at most and stop, see how you feel with it, maybe wiggle it very slowly, shallowly and gently to see how that feels. If it’s feeling ok then go a little further and repeat. If it’s not feeling great, then stop and slowly take the toy out. You may need more lube or more relaxation.
Also don’t expect to orgasm first time, it can happen as almost a shock reaction but orgasm is a learned skill so just focus on enjoying the feeling.
I haven’t got this one but I think it is very popular, even with beginners. I would agree with @liz though, a straight one might be better to get used to the feeling of something being there, it can be an odd feeling to start with and you might want to build up the time as your body gets used to it, it shouldn’t be painful though.
The circumference is actually 3.5 inches. Which is actually a good beginners size.
Its not the easiest shape for a first plug to be honest, they can be a bit tricky to insert if you havent done it before. It also has a wide neck which may have caused the discomfort. Most plugs have a smaller circumference neck which makes them more comfortable to have in. This doesnt and as a first plug its going to be more of a stretch
Just incase there was some confusion. You want to insert it so the smallest area goes in first, then turn it to continue inserting the rest.
Its also possible you clenched up on it whilst inserting it. Which is easy to do accidentally when you start out. Its really important to take deep slow breaths and make sure to relax your muscles and go slowly. Both whilst inserting and anytime your feel yourself tensing when you have a plug in
(I often find concentrating on how much you want a toy in can help too)
You also dont have to insert a plug in in one go and can gently nudge to tip against you anus untill you relax more. It can take a while so go slow and dont feel like you have to rush it. Listen to your body and if its uncomfortable take it out.
All else fails, return it and swap it for something of a different shape (these are both good options).
There are also good recommendations for prostate massagers in the p-spotting thread
If you want something thinner to start off, This one is smaller than the plug you bought.
This is a more traditional bulb shape and though the max circumference is the same as the plug you tried, it should be more comfortable to inset and wear as it tapers at the neck and tip
I might try the curved one again at some point, but it seems like the main pointers here are get some Anal lube (I knew using normal lube was a risk) and to invest in a straight plug, as well as relaxing and going as slow as I need to. Thanks for the recommendations everyone, not the best start to anal play for me but I hope I can find a way to make it work for me!
I’m not exactly the most knowledgable but I would guess you’d be better off starting with a normal bulb shaped one rather than one that curves, get used to the tapered bulb plugs before moving on to different shapes and sizes
Dont let it put you off, we all make mistakes when we start out. My first plug was not a great choice either so its easy to do.
Like @Calie said, using the vibes on your anus is also nice and a good way to warm up to inserting something.
Anal lubes are thicker and last longer. Get a good quality water based one (as your using silicone). Theyr worth the money. Sliquid sassy is my go to. The sliquid gel is also excellent
3.5 inches circumference is a good starting point, but you can go for less. Also pick something silicone to get you started.
The sales swap over on tuesdays (vaguely at midday) for the uk. So you could wait till the and see what gets reduced.
I think there is a 20% off code on at the moment too. (Check on the sales page)
Tingling durex lube probably no good or dries out fast. Lovehoney LH anal lube is pretty cheap easy to use and long lasting. We just received another 500ml pump action set today which will last us a long time.
I’ve actually got that butt plug and tried it again today.
I’m 6ft 2" but it’s a bit too small for me and won’t stay in. I find it easy to put in and out with the LH anal lube and after using mine or my wives fingers first.
It was first time my wife saw it and I said it might pop out when I tried to love for sex which it did so I quickly lubed up a bigger LH glass butt plug.
I’ll try it on my wife at some point as think it might stay on her a bit easier.
Just don’t rush it.
Shower or bath first and have little slippery clean out with warm soapy water. Lube fingers anal lube finger slowly bit of stretching circles.
Lube butt plug breathe relax and insert.
It’s a good shape for prostate stimulation but a bit to short and not girth enough for me.
A few years ago I started using butt plugs, prostrate massage and dildos and have been close to getting a prostrate orgasms but I can always milk it and have never been in discomfort. Good luck.
Lube your butt well, lube the toy well.
Take it slow.
If it is a p spot just move back and forward slowly at first. This will also help spread more if the lube
Try laying on your back with legs spread and look at something you enjoy. Relax.
My partner found it hot so pleasing her was good.
She eventually tried a silicone strap on but the way that one was designed didn’t work too well.
We ended up liking this one
I eventually purchased some Lovense toys and enjoy the Lovense Edge 2 which is amazing. A little big at first but once its in you can turn it on and sync it to a phone app for a lot of fun. Solo, with partner in same room or even across the world.
I did get a medium/large regular metal plug at one point. It can be a bit difficult in and out.
Materials
Important.
Silicone is soft and is easier to handle than the same thing in metal or glass.
I strongly suggest you stick to silicone, metal or glass as most other materials are porous which means they have micro holes and after cleaning them they can still hold dirt and build up bacteria. Bad bad.
I eventually even stepped up to a wolf like thing from elsewhere.
