I need some advice and information. In having thr get to know you talks with my new girlfriend we learned that we both had bad experiences with anal sex so it was taken off the table, however through are times having intercourse we have discovered much to her surprise that she enjoys a little bit of play back there, rim shot, fingers and so we reopened the conversation. Now because she is smaller in nature, 5’ average build and i am well above average she has no desire to try abd put me in the back door. So i brought up the topic of butt plugs and i have zero experience with them. Will they enhance intercourse while inserted, is it something that can be worn out to dinner and such. We both are curious to try but have no knowledge in this area… TIA for any advice and guidance
I’d say, broadly speaking, it depends what you/she is looking for exactly.
Obvious statement here, but a plug is to plug, and not so much for penetrative sex ie ‘in and out’.
A butt plug, I’d say, is more of a fullness thing. Some people choose to wear them outside of sex for this reason too, as you suggest. If you plan on long term wear then this may also influence what kind of plug you choose to get, or want to look for.
If you want comfort and long term wear (which is also a benefit for short term wear too!) then I’m told you want to get one with some weight behind it, a slim neck (so it doesn’t stretch the butt hole), and a t bar so that it doesn’t rub when the cheeks are closed (or at very least a wide base so that it doesn’t get lost!!!). If you’re looking for short term wear then I’d suggest to also buy for long term wear as that will still work for you. NJoy is a great brand, though very expensive. Ones with flared bottoms that have jewels I think are really nice as an observer.
If you’re looking for more of a penetrative sex situation then I’d argue you may benefit more from a dildo (even if it’s a really small one to start). Then there’s obviously also the option of a vibrator too if that goes well, but start with the dildo and progress if she likes it. This gives a different sensation to her than a plug (obvious reasons why). It will also feel different for you too as the giver if you’re going for double penetration (again, I feel that this is obvious as to why).
Again, depending on what you want, you can also consider things like anal beads etc. which obviously has a totally different purpose again.
Just remember whatever you choose to do you should start off slow, don’t rush things, don’t get one with a small base that risks it getting lost, go as fast as SHE is comfortable with, and always use lots of lube.
I’m only just starting to renew my like (not quite love yet) for anal. I wore one to the shop with tight leggings and a baggy hoodie, just in case. That was fun so I kept it in a bit longer and then after a while, it just felt like I had something in my ass and the appeal was gone. I wouldn’t suggest wearing out to dinner until she’s built up to it.
Inserting a plug doesn’t turn me on in the same way that insetting a dildo vaginal would. I have to keep the sexy stimulation, talk to my partner, send him pics or videos etc otherwise I’m done with it.
Wearing a plug during PIV will make her feel really full, for me this is really good and enhances my orgasm. A vibrating one turns his penis into a vibrator, we both enjoy that one.
The only rules are a flared base for safety, a slim neck so that shes not stretched too much. If you think you’ve used enough lube, add a bit more on the toy and your partner. And have a bit of fun experimenting with it. Keep the conversation open, thats really the most important rule.
Welcome to the forum 
when finding the right buttplug that suits you, try looking for something with a T bar base for discreet comfort and security so that it won’t do a vanishing act!
Once you’ve found ‘the one’, you should find it’s pretty easy to enjoy wearing out and about.
For me I’ve discovered a glass plug is my favourite.
You may also wish to look into ones that vibrate or inflate to stimulate them pleasure spots.