Can you get not sexual Doms or talk only Dom’s?

I was wondering if there was such thing as a non sexual dom, or a talk only dom sexually and no sexually. Something that can go along side a relationship…?

I know it sounds strange but I need a dom to keep my bratty not self-caring ass in line but I love my boyfriend and can’t be physical with anyone else but would be happy to talk sexual dom wise or have not sexual Dom friendship……is this a thing? :see_no_evil:

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That is a thing, and it would be between you and your partner whether or not is within the bounds of your relationship.

Basically, if you can ask “is this a thing?” it’s a thing that someone else has said, done, or thought of. Even the most “out there” kinks are rarely unique.

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I suppose everything is a thing if you want it to be. Would your boyfriend not be the perfect person to tell you that you should be looking after yourself?

I reread. You want to talk sexually with someone else, If you’ve discussed it with your boyfriend and set boundaries then go for it. Is your bf not wanting to be a dom or do you want someone else to do it? Not everyone can be a dom. Like you could tell me what you’ve done that isn’t in your best interests, and I could tell you off but I’m a dick, not a domme :laughing:

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That makes sense. We just don’t know how to go about finding someone like that…:see_no_evil:

Ye but hes not quite ok with the dom dynamic, so longing for a not sexually physical dom who will fit. It’s the dom dynamic of punishment and praise I need mentally.

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I edited my original comment, but that makes sense.
I’m not clear on the sexual and non sexual dom, have I read it right that you don’t want anything physical with anyone else but you want to talk sexually with someone else who will also dictate punishments and praise?

Ye so basically a dom that is either:

Non sexually based so more a dom friendship in a way I suppose.

Or

Only sexual part is talking sexual eg telling me to do something sexual as punishment or for pleasure but nothing physical sexual between me and the dom. so talk only.

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Gotcha, my brain is half asleep and is making up its own version lol

A sub/dom relationship is intense, and luckily, communication is massively important for it to be healthy.

You could throw a handful of pebbles and hit 10 people that call themselves a ‘dom’ but most of them think that spanking, choking and generally being abusive, is what makes a dom. A dom takes pleasure in giving you what you need/want/crave regardless of what that is. There will be people who want to do what you want done, if that makes sense. But it’ll probably take some time for you to find that person. Have your do’s and don’ts discussed with your boyfriend and have them all in place before you start looking.

You’ll need to think about if the person was to ask you to do things on say a video call, or to record it or take photos and send to them. Think about if you’re comfortable doing that. I wouldn’t do any of that but thats my boundary.

Is your bf going to be a part of the sexual acts that you’re being told to do?
Is he going to have access to the conversation? What (if anything) does your boyfriend need to be ok with all this?

You don’t need to answer, I’m just putting it out there for you to think about if you haven’t already.

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You make some really good points thank you :purple_heart::blush:
Definitely need to have a proper full talk to talk limits and the details and the points you have made above :blush:.

Any advice on where to look when we do? All we can come up with is Bumble :see_no_evil: or a dating website like that….:see_no_evil:

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Anywhere that gives you the option of selecting what you’re looking for. Dating sites are probably not likely to give you what you want. You might find people who are curious, but I would expect that once they find out that there won’t be anything physical, you’ll not hear from them again. But they could be good for testing the waters for you and your bf.

I would go with fabswingers, its not just for swingers, despite the name. Its for everyone to use how they want. You will have to wade through a lot to find what you’re looking for, the plus side is that their location doesn’t really matter, unless you want to do phone calls or video/cam calls then you might want a similar time zone at least.

(Forgot to add in my last mammoth comment, once you send a video or photo then its gone, it can be forwarded, edited, shared on sites - this is why I don’t recommend it. Even with video calls, the person can screen record and do all those same things. If you were to send anything and wouldn’t like for anyone to know its you, then cover your face and anything distinguishing on your body or in your home, don’t get found out because of your curtains.)

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Someday, I’ll write a comment that is one line​:wink:

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Thank you :kissing_heart::purple_heart: and keep it up with the paragraphs :purple_heart: they are super helpful so not a bad thing at all :blush:

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That could be fun. Like if you’d been naughty you’d have to spend fifteen minutes telling me the dom how much you loved looking at his penis and how wet it was making you, but you wouldn’t be allowed to touch yourself unless you did a good enough job of it? :smile_cat:

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Yes literally like that :joy::purple_heart: I love to brat, my honestly it’s one of those ones where the only way to describe it is subbing is a part of me and not doing it to a (or bragging my ass off and then begging haha) dom feels like a part of me is missing, plus it helps with my mental health to the point where it literally gets rid of it completely…it’s like I can let go sexually and in life. It’s freeing and fun.
It’s a need I have to fulfil and I’m not the type to cheat, so need to fill it in a way that works for both me and my partner is comfortable with.

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I’m sure this is a thing as you used to be able to get those sexy call lines where you could talk to people and flirt and they’d basically be whoever you wanted them to be for you :wink:

It’s an interesting exercise in imagination to think what a suitable reward would be for someone being a good girl like that. Perhaps just a little lift in mood such as asking her to stand topless in front of a mirror with her hands behind her back and imagine someone staring at her nipples so powerfully that they go all stiff. :mirror:

This is a group forum rather than private one on one, but it might be useful to explore the idea, see what suggestions other people could make and develop your thoughts on what you’re looking for.

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Yes its a thing, you need to put the effort in researching your dom though.
I have friends who do it as a job and they have more than lme client they keep on the straight and narrow but not for sexual reason. The relationship had been one of a friendship or a mentorship

You of course need to pay for this service.

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I can see it could involve a lot of time and effort to understand the sub properly and do a good job @Bigiain, almost like life coaching. I don’t think I could do it although imagining the feelings a sub was experiencing while doing something I told her to, almost like being in her head, is quite enjoyable. :heartpulse:

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Reply for both :purple_heart:

It does interesting and it’s something I think My partner needs to understand a bit more I have found, he agreed and have learnt yesterday I don’t think he quite understands dom/sub….so will have to see where this goes when we have a proper in-depth discusssion…as I need a dom/sub relationship is some way or another in my life sadly

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I think it would be good for your boyfriend to begin take some control of you. Little easy things to start with like choosing which underwear you wear each day - maybe you let him smell the clean fresh panties in the morning then he helps you put them on, and in the day you send him a photo of them, taking them off or letting him take them off to let him feel and smell them again in the evening - at which point he can decide if he wants to do anything or whether you have to put them back on for a while longer. Maybe he’d regard much dampness as a sign of naughtiness that ought to be punished. Perhaps you ought to ask his permission whenever you want to masturbate and if he allows it, he should be the one to decide how much longer you need to wait until he wants to watch you, how and where you do it and what toy you use. You could also browse the LH shop together but you have to read out the descriptions and review comments as he chooses and he makes the decision on which ones, if any, get bought - depending of course on how good you’ve been. You could also have a daily session of reading out loud to him what you’ve posted in the forum and what the responses were - perhaps while lying across his knees with your ass exposed so he can stroke or slap as required; he might consider it very naughty if you’d got other people aroused by what you’d written. The threads below should be suitable for this. :purple_heart:

And in this one posting so your boyfriend can understand what you felt, what turned you on, when you read it to him.

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