I was wondering if there was such thing as a non sexual dom, or a talk only dom sexually and no sexually. Something that can go along side a relationship…?
I know it sounds strange but I need a dom to keep my bratty not self-caring ass in line but I love my boyfriend and can’t be physical with anyone else but would be happy to talk sexual dom wise or have not sexual Dom friendship……is this a thing? 
That is a thing, and it would be between you and your partner whether or not is within the bounds of your relationship.
Basically, if you can ask “is this a thing?” it’s a thing that someone else has said, done, or thought of. Even the most “out there” kinks are rarely unique.
I suppose everything is a thing if you want it to be. Would your boyfriend not be the perfect person to tell you that you should be looking after yourself?
I reread. You want to talk sexually with someone else, If you’ve discussed it with your boyfriend and set boundaries then go for it. Is your bf not wanting to be a dom or do you want someone else to do it? Not everyone can be a dom. Like you could tell me what you’ve done that isn’t in your best interests, and I could tell you off but I’m a dick, not a domme 
That makes sense. We just don’t know how to go about finding someone like that…
Ye but hes not quite ok with the dom dynamic, so longing for a not sexually physical dom who will fit. It’s the dom dynamic of punishment and praise I need mentally.
I edited my original comment, but that makes sense.
I’m not clear on the sexual and non sexual dom, have I read it right that you don’t want anything physical with anyone else but you want to talk sexually with someone else who will also dictate punishments and praise?
Ye so basically a dom that is either:
Non sexually based so more a dom friendship in a way I suppose.
Or
Only sexual part is talking sexual eg telling me to do something sexual as punishment or for pleasure but nothing physical sexual between me and the dom. so talk only.
Gotcha, my brain is half asleep and is making up its own version lol
A sub/dom relationship is intense, and luckily, communication is massively important for it to be healthy.
You could throw a handful of pebbles and hit 10 people that call themselves a ‘dom’ but most of them think that spanking, choking and generally being abusive, is what makes a dom. A dom takes pleasure in giving you what you need/want/crave regardless of what that is. There will be people who want to do what you want done, if that makes sense. But it’ll probably take some time for you to find that person. Have your do’s and don’ts discussed with your boyfriend and have them all in place before you start looking.
You’ll need to think about if the person was to ask you to do things on say a video call, or to record it or take photos and send to them. Think about if you’re comfortable doing that. I wouldn’t do any of that but thats my boundary.
Is your bf going to be a part of the sexual acts that you’re being told to do?
Is he going to have access to the conversation? What (if anything) does your boyfriend need to be ok with all this?
You don’t need to answer, I’m just putting it out there for you to think about if you haven’t already.
You make some really good points thank you 
Definitely need to have a proper full talk to talk limits and the details and the points you have made above .
Any advice on where to look when we do? All we can come up with is Bumble or a dating website like that….
Anywhere that gives you the option of selecting what you’re looking for. Dating sites are probably not likely to give you what you want. You might find people who are curious, but I would expect that once they find out that there won’t be anything physical, you’ll not hear from them again. But they could be good for testing the waters for you and your bf.
I would go with fabswingers, its not just for swingers, despite the name. Its for everyone to use how they want. You will have to wade through a lot to find what you’re looking for, the plus side is that their location doesn’t really matter, unless you want to do phone calls or video/cam calls then you might want a similar time zone at least.
(Forgot to add in my last mammoth comment, once you send a video or photo then its gone, it can be forwarded, edited, shared on sites - this is why I don’t recommend it. Even with video calls, the person can screen record and do all those same things. If you were to send anything and wouldn’t like for anyone to know its you, then cover your face and anything distinguishing on your body or in your home, don’t get found out because of your curtains.)
Someday, I’ll write a comment that is one line
Thank you 
and keep it up with the paragraphs they are super helpful so not a bad thing at all
Yes literally like that 
I love to brat, my honestly it’s one of those ones where the only way to describe it is subbing is a part of me and not doing it to a (or bragging my ass off and then begging haha) dom feels like a part of me is missing, plus it helps with my mental health to the point where it literally gets rid of it completely…it’s like I can let go sexually and in life. It’s freeing and fun.
It’s a need I have to fulfil and I’m not the type to cheat, so need to fill it in a way that works for both me and my partner is comfortable with.
I’m sure this is a thing as you used to be able to get those sexy call lines where you could talk to people and flirt and they’d basically be whoever you wanted them to be for you
Yes its a thing, you need to put the effort in researching your dom though.
I have friends who do it as a job and they have more than lme client they keep on the straight and narrow but not for sexual reason. The relationship had been one of a friendship or a mentorship
You of course need to pay for this service.
Reply for both
It does interesting and it’s something I think My partner needs to understand a bit more I have found, he agreed and have learnt yesterday I don’t think he quite understands dom/sub….so will have to see where this goes when we have a proper in-depth discusssion…as I need a dom/sub relationship is some way or another in my life sadly
It sounds like you’re leaning more towards it being a sexual dom that you want?
If he doesn’t understand it, then you either didn’t explain it in a way he could understand or he doesn’t want to hear it and is being a bit bratty himself. Maybe he’s a sub himself.
It’s hard to explain your real feelings on something when you know that you’re not going to get what you need and especially now that you’ve said you need it in some way or another.
You recognise and are willing to say that it’s something you’re not going to compromise on by not having it. And neither you should. I would suggest being careful about how you position that to him as realistically it’s an ultimatum. You’re going to have it in you’re life and whether he stays in your life depends on his acceptance. And if he can’t accept it, then its right for him to go.
Could you sub with him and share that experience together? I think if once you talk to him again about what it is that you’re wanting from a dom (maybe your needs are not stereotypical sub needs and thats why he doesn’t understand) if its not all sexual and you basically want someone to make the decisions in your best interest. Does he understand the need behind that.
My partner and I have sub/dom esque sex, in that he gives me what I need, regardless of whether its pain or love or a mix of the two. And he gets his enjoyment from giving me what I need. We set an agenda for the time we’ve got, not an itinerary that has to be followed but if I need to be tawsed then theres a feeling that I’m needing and he’ll give me that.
I’ve tried taking on the domme role with previous partners, I’ve had whips and crops in my drawer for years and when I’ve mentioned that I’ve had them, they all assume I want to use them on them, thats annoying. I thought by taking on the domme role I could imagine the feel of the crop on my skin when it was hitting their skin. Honestly that just made it worse, that pissed me off and I had to stop because that frustration was coming out and thats not what being a domme even a fake one is about.
So don’t do what I did. Don’t compromise. Because that feeling of getting the release that you crave won’t go away.
Thank you suggested the mastubation bit to him and he’s going to give a try added good girl and daddy into punishments too (as he sees to like me calling him daddy and have no issue with this ). You are right in small steps sound like the way forward . Going to make a Wishlist together too and if good can get something off it. Only just 4 days of this and already feeling the difference in myself 
feeling more relaxed and just more me……and found calling him ‘good boy’ in a bratty tone get punishment automatically (normally ass play which still getting used to) so that’s fun for my brat side 
.
Thank you so much little steps definitely helping
Totally get that pretending o be someone you ar not just eats away a part of you that you lose unless someone can help bring it back.
Hope you all good now sounds like a healthier Relationship for you now.
You have both been amazing thank you 
step by step as sounds like he really wants to just make me happy