Carer's Community

Hi all :blush:
I’ve seen a couple of other members mention about being a carer and I thought it might be nice for us to have a thread where we can talk about being a carer or moan if we’ve had a difficult day or just have a little bit of support and advice from others in similar situations.

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I’m not a carer i’m the cared for. My wife would be the carer and she struggles swapping between the carer and a wife in a sexual way. I am sure I need to get more touchy, feely.

When i was made redundant 5 years ago, i got a job as a carer, i did 3 days in the classroom, and because my DBS check came through within a week, i could have been out in the community, fitting and changing catheters etc. I did 4 days shadowing an actual carer until my check came through. I was shocked that for every 30 minute appointment there was no travelling time factored in. So 8 calls in a 4 hour period at afternoon rush hour meant you may get 10 minutes with a client. Then if a client was in hospital, and had half an hour free, you had to sit in your car unpaid, you couldn’t go to the next client early to make up time. I was heartbroken at the conditions some people were living in, and also uplifted by how much some partners did for their OH. When my check came through and i could have started officially on the following Monday, i had a sleepless night weighing up wether to carry on. In the end i decided that to make a decent living, i would need to be out about 15 hours a day, so after talking it over with my OH, i decided to decline the job, she backed me all the way. Luckily a few days later i applied for my current job online, and after passing the online tests and face to face interview, i got my current job in retail, for which i had a week in a classroom and a fortnight’s on the job training. So i totally respect those who work in care, it’s a job i COULD do, but my conscience would destroy me mentally not being able to give people the time and care they deserved.

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I’ve helped out with caring in the past both professionally at a school for special needs and personally with ill family members plus I daily help my mum as she has dyslexia and can’t get her head around the whole self checkout in shopping lol

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I’m a carer for my mum, live with her and dad. It’s mainly things like making sure she eats and drinks and takes her meds - nagging if necessary, taking her to appointments and making sure she actually leaves the house even just for a ride in the car.

When the food shopping is done, making sure there’s quick and easy accessible food for her that’s not just crisps or chocolate because that’s what she will generally reach for.

Also keeping an ear out to make sure she’s okay, especially in the bath or shower or going up or down stairs as she’s not always steady.

From that perspective, working from home is a blessing because I’m actually here to hear what’s going on etc.

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I was shocked that one old chap with dementia was left with a 4 pack of Snickers to eat, by his live-in son while he was at work.

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I’m a carer for my mum, have been for a couple of years and last year she spent six and a half months in hospital so my carer’s allowance stopped and hasn’t been reinstated yet so hopefully will be soon :crossed_fingers:

My mum’s room is downstairs so I bought a cheap doorbell for her bedside table so if she needs any help while I’m upstairs she can ring it and I’ll come down. The main issue is getting her to actually use it because she’s stubborn and deals with things herself!

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I’m a support worker and care for adults with learning disabilities. I’ve only ever stuck to the learning disability field as I love it. Currently work in a residential home for adults with autism, challenging behaviour and epilepsy and been here 2 years. It’s tough at the moment with Covid and despite the very limited understanding of what’s going and why they haven’t seen their families for a year, our guys are dealing with it all a lot better than us staff. They keep us sane when we’re not feeling 100%!

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My friend has a late teens son with severe autism, he’s in a home, and it’s heartbreaking that her visiting him has been severely curtailed by Covid.

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I can imagine :persevere: it came to a point where my manager had to make the executive decision to stop all visiting from families. The uncertainty and the lack of understanding caused a lot of behavioural problems and in the long run would’ve been very detrimental, on top of the risk of bringing covid into the home. It’s heartbreaking.

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He has the mental age of a toddler, so can’t understand why his mom doesn’t visit. I feel for anyone in a similar position.

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I’m a full time carer for my wife since 2015 when she had a brain haemorrhage, resulting in her losing all her memory prior to that, she also thinks she is 13 years old, so any sexual activity between us has ceased, she does understand my frustration about this but in her eyes and mind she is too young to have sex, she has a p.a who takes her out twice a week to give me a break and believe me I enjoy her going out cos it means I can have a really good wank.

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When I was out of work I did some work for a pharmacy, just delivering prescriptions etc to the housebound. It was a great job, but it was heartbreaking to see the state some people are left in by families (and some carers) but really didn’t have time to do anything meaniful apart from a quick chat and maybe put stuff away for them! Also report back to pharmacist who could o a report to GP. Hats off to people who do the job both paid and unpaid, but some others should have a real long hard look in the mirror, made me so angry that they were taking money for that kind of service. If you can’t do the job with some heart, compassion and respect, go get a job where that skill set is not needed! Sorry got angry at sights I saw, but what was really trying to say is respect and well done to all our caring carers who do a fantastic job, not sure I could do it day in day out, I salute you! Especially in in these difficult time :+1::+1:

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Totally agree!

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