Think for me I defo would love to have a child in life before I’m too old and would regret it if it passes me by 
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I think it’s more common now. It was the “thing” years ago you got married…were expected to have children…not so much now.
I think now with massive rent prices and mortgages through the roof plus the cost of living those in a relationship both need to work and then if there’s child care costs on top of everything else it’s virtually impossible.
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Me Hue here. Had my first at 30. Never wanted any and I still don’t like kids except my own. Faced with a child on the way I changed my mindset beyond my wildest dream. I even enjoyed pushchair shopping.
Damn they are bloody hard work though.
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I’d say you have plenty of reasons to justify the fear 
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Thankyou 
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That’s what makes it so insidious.
I was abused many ways, for years and years by many different people, even into adulthood and my 1st marriage.
Of course it goes way beyond you and me, sadly millions and millions are abused.
But your comment always hits home for me. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that so many of us are abused yet we’re not able to see it, to know it, to recognize it.
I’m glad you’re living your best life, I really am.
Yes, you were abused and I’m sorry you went through that.
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We got married and at that time we didnt really discuss children i was 27 and hubby was 23 but i knew if we were going to i could not leave it too late. A coup!e of years later we discussed children and we both agreed that actually we didnt want them, much to the disgust of hubbys parents. We were called selfish and as hubby is the last male to pass on the family name the comments from his parents were hurtful. Anyway we stuck to our guns, we have done what we wanted when we wanted and had what we wanted so have no regrets.
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We never bothered, it was the elephant in the room really, but it was the correct decision in hindsight.
My o’h was late 30s and I was early 30s when we met.
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I think if I hadn’t been such a idiot a long time ago
I would probably be without children by choice, but you never know you could settle down with someone and your feelings change. Definitely no right or wrong it’s up to you and certainly not anyone’s business accept to you and your partner.
Both me and my wife do not have children, second marriage for us both.
I ignite have had a child in my first marriage, and was under a lot of pressure from the MIL to bring in a grandchild, but, we were not having sex, so that kind of made it a moot point. I once told a woman friend of ours I disliked babies and she looked at me like I was a monster. Some folks love kids, some not. To,each their own.
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I discovered i didnt like children soon after hubbys sister started shelling them out like peas.
Why do they have to shout when they speak. I remember once we took my nephew to toys are us to choose a birthday present and he had a tantrum because we would not buy him a toy he already had at home. He threw himself on the floor and started screaming and thrashing about. We walked away and left him (kept an eye on him from a distance) after about 10 minutes he got up and looked panicked when be realised we werent in his sight. Taught him a lesson as he never done that again when he was with us.
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I remember my goddaughter having a tantrum at Christmas a few years ago because her mum got more presents from me than she did.
I was probably a bit too blunt to a 5 year old when I replied with “well I chose to be your mum’s friend, didn’t get a choice with you.” As well as “Well if you’re not happy with what you got, I’ll take it back then.”
She still loves me and she did keep her presents, and she doesn’t try that kind of thing with me now 
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Having children and not having children is a totally personal choice and I 100% believe pros and cons are on both sides. But it’s a personal choice and no one should ever make you feel guilty or bad.
I just believe you should live the fullest life whichever one you choose. So if you have kids then don’t miss moments, put your phone away and enjoy life through their eyes. If you don’t have children then enjoy your of travel! Go do things which are exciting to you and run through your list of “to dos”.
we have three kids (2 of hers and one of ours) and I love them to bits, but I do spend a lot of time wishing we could travel now (mid 30s) as I know we’re gonna be hitting 50/60 before we can start to live again
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Thankyou, and I hope you are doing better now too.
It was a poly relationship that really opened my eyes: he said he loved with “tough love” but it didn’t feel very loving to me, he was constantly critical of me. I can’t remember what it was exactly but something online said something about abuse, and I just remember thinking “hold up, this sounds like other experiences throughout my life that I didn’t have to accept”.
It’s a hard wake-up. Hardest was learning what “boundaries” are (I was never allowed to say no before), and how to protect them in your thirties. Some people really hate it when you have them.
Case in point, last week my mother wanted to go swimming. I told her I get in on a discount (disabled concession), but it would be £6 for her. She was not happy about that - she wanted to go in for free as my carer, even though she only sees me once a week. I offered to use some of my PIP money (since it’s there to pay for any assistance that I need), but she refused, she wanted a confrontation with staff over her “right” to enter the pool for free, and I refused to be a part of it. Gone are the days where she gets to make a huge public demonstration about how disabled I am so she can save her pennies. Now, she can take the offered solution, or we can do something else instead. I don’t think she liked beig told no, but tough.
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I’m 42, and the wife is 41. We never wanted kids, and when the law changed, I went and got snipped. We enjoy our no kids lifestyle, and have numerous fur babies (we had 8 cats and a dog at one point). The wifey works at a children’s science museum, and while she does love interacting with littles, we definitely don’t have room in our lives for one, and wouldn’t want to bring one into the world as it is reguardless.
Not by choice, but seeing the world we are now living in and what the future holds, I am glad.
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“I offered to use some of my PIP money (since it’s there to pay for any assistance that I need), but she refused, she wanted a confrontation with staff over her “right” to enter the pool for free, and I refused to be a part of it.”
Sorry about this but I’m really glad to hear that you set, maintained and enforced your boundary with her regarding this @Tenshadesandme by not being a part of it.
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