Choking advice please

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hi everyone just wanted some advice as to whether this is normal and safe or if we're doing it wrong.

I enjoy being lightly choked during kissing and sometimes sex. We've explored this more during our last 2 meetings.

The first time was fine with no after effects. This time on Wednesday he was a bit more forceful but still gentle, and it felt great.

The next day the front of my throat was tender and today, the second day, it's even more tender. It feels nice because it's a reminder of our time together, great memories.

But is this normal and expected or are we doing it wrong? Obviously we want to be safe while doing it.

I did look online for advice but only found choking in relation to cutting off the air supply, which isn't our aim at all.

Thanks guys

2

Okay, I'm interested in this kink too but I know very little of it and haven't tried it at all (the missus isn't into anything rough).

What I CAN say to you, though, is; "is this safe?" - NO! This is a form of what's known as edge play because, putting it bluntly, it carries inherent risk that cannot be eliminated completely and, if something goes wrong, can end in death. Scary but true.

There are safer ways to do it, sure, but it will never be 100% safe. Ever.

Now, it sounds like you have some minor damage/bruising to the larynx, which means it was done "wrong". One of the things I've heard is that any FRONTAL pressure to the larynx and hyoid bone should be absolutely avoided, they are very fragile areas and any lasting/permenant damage is very serious and, as I said, potentially fatal.

*From what little I've heard on technique; A hand can be placed high up on the throat, just below the jaw, and light pressure can be applied UPWARDS (towards the face/head), and fingers can apply very light, gentle pressure to the SIDES of the neck. Pressure should NEVER be applied from the FRONT or DOWNWARDS (towards the back of the neck/spine). These can mimic the sensation of choking, and trigger the response in the brain, without actually cutting the oxygen off completely, and without damaging the larynx/hyoid.

*Please, please, please don't just go off my very limited, possibly inaccurate information on technique. Do lots and lots of research, ask on Fetlife and such for info from seasoned practitioners, take it very slowly, never do it alone, etc. I just wanted to point out that basically a tender larynx means minor damage has been done and isn't right. If the tenderness/pain doesn't get any better or gets worse in the next couple of days, or you develop any other symptoms, you may need to go to A&E.

Have fun, but stay safe (or as safe as it's possible to be with edge play)!

3

I'm going to preface this by saying I do a fair few things that many people would say are stupid and dangerous. Safe, sane and consensual is a good way to play but some of us prefer RACK (risk aware consensual kink). I'm not going to advocate anyone practicing choking but it's better for people to be risk aware if they choose to. Because of this, I'm going to write a long thing about safety before answering your question.

Choking is inherently dangerous. Compression of the neck risks both blood and air restriction. Either of those is going to deprive your brain of oxygen but a blood choke will do it much quicker. The risk with air chokes is damage to the cartilage that surrounds your trachea and fracturing the hyoid bone. You really don't want that to happen.

Eager2-Please was completely correct about not applying pressure to the front and aiming for the sides. You want to be compressing the carotid arteries which are on either side of the trachea. If you've ever checked your pulse on your neck, that's the carotid. A firm compression of the carotid artery will choke someone out in about ten seconds. Any longer than that and the person doing the choke probably isn't quite in the right place. If you aren't looking to be choked out then apply less pressure. I don't know where I read it but I heard you still don't want to be doing it for very long because even partial compression is limiting blood flow, and thus oxygen reaching the brain. It seems reasonable to err on the side of caution.

I'm going to attempt to explain something very badly and without half the correct words because I'm tired. When you're compressing the carotid artery you are also compressing the carotid sinus bodies. I'm a little fuzzy on how exactly it does it but this causes the vagus nerve to send a message to the heart to slow the heart rate. Most of the time it just decreases a bit but occasionally it reduces so much the person flatlines (asystole). That's cardiac arrest.

That said, I have spoken to a couple of doctors who didn't seem to be particularly concerned by me getting choked. Doctors actually do carotid sinus massage so are well aware of the last risk. It is a serious one, but extremely rare.

If you are looking for a less risky form of choking/breath play, I recommend pinching the nose and covering the mouth with a hand. You get the panicky feeling in seconds and because it takes ages for a person to pass out from air restriction, it's pretty damn safe.

In answer to your question. It sounds like your partner wasn't compressing in the right place. There shouldn't be pressure on the front of your neck so you shouldn't really be tender there. I do get that if I've been choked with a belt because that compresses the trachea. I often have a bit of a bruised feeling at the sides from blood chokes and that's pretty normal.

4

I've done a lot of research into breath play and choking, and really there is no 100% safe way to do it regardless of the method due to so many factors which could go wrong and can vary from individual and method used. And whilst there have been reports of death throughout history (the most interesting one being a french royal who had a choking fetish and died), it's still requested and practised. It's also something I enjoy.

Avoiding too much pressure on the Adams apple is advisable as not only can this hurt but can be more dangerous than other forms. As Friday13 has already said pressure on the side is a lot better than the front and the nose and mouth restrictions are an option too. Many people invest in breath play devices, these have pros and cons as sometimes it's harder to see the persons face when being choked which can make it hard to tell where their limit is. I'd recommend holding a bell or similar in your hand if you can when being choked as you can drop this when you've hit your limit or you will automatically drop it when you have hit it without realising.

If you have a heart condition it's best to avoid. It's best to avoid when ill, over tired, and or drunk too.

I'd also advise against using pillows as the fibres can get into the lungs, and avoid silk ties as these have a habit of knotting tightly without being able to undo easily. Safety scissors are a must if you are going to use something for choking. Never do it alone (this is where many people end up dead or a and e, particularly those doing it via internet Mistresses request, you have to release that if something does go wrong someone in the room to you will need to act quickly).

As for your throat right now I'd recommend some light neck exercises so the muscles don't lock up, and drink warm drinks with honey to maybe coat your throat.

5

Just to back up the others besafe.

The higher up the throat the better pinch the airway from the sides try to avoid the trachea at the front.

Its actually a reasonably common way to hieghtden orgasm. There have unfortunately been some high profile deaths like Michael Hutchins a singer. This only serves as a warning never try it during solo play. Don't use belts or straps that have a ratchet or lock.

The restriction of the air way increases blood pressure and so heart rate. These happen naturally when we are sexualy aroused. Its an increasing upward spiral. The higher the heart rate the bigger requirement for more oxygen thus we pant and breathe harder. If you restrict the ability to inhale the heart rate increases again increasing the blood flow. So your genitals are getting high blood flow at high pressure and your brain is on highetened alert.

Thus giving a kind of high.

Enjoy but be safe

6

Where else can you find somewhere both as knowing and as accepting as the Lovehoney Forum? This type of thread is why I come back here time and time again, it's a shame such great advice will get buried in all the games threads, when there is this typr of material available that makes the Lovehoney Forum fucking awesome.

good job forumers :)

7

Sum Sub wrote:

Where else can you find somewhere both as knowing and as accepting as the Lovehoney Forum? This type of thread is why I come back here time and time again, it's a shame such great advice will get buried in all the games threads, when there is this typr of material available that makes the Lovehoney Forum fucking awesome.

good job forumers :)

Agreed Subby

8

Gentle giant wrote:

Sum Sub wrote:

Where else can you find somewhere both as knowing and as accepting as the Lovehoney Forum? This type of thread is why I come back here time and time again, it's a shame such great advice will get buried in all the games threads, when there is this typr of material available that makes the Lovehoney Forum fucking awesome.

good job forumers :)

Agreed Subby

As a game thread player I actually agree it would be a shame for this thread too get lost - therefore I am going to *bump*

Xx

9

Thanks everyone for all the great advice 😊

10

Sum Sub wrote:

Where else can you find somewhere both as knowing and as accepting as the Lovehoney Forum? This type of thread is why I come back here time and time again, it's a shame such great advice will get buried in all the games threads, when there is this typr of material available that makes the Lovehoney Forum fucking awesome.

good job forumers :)

Completely agree. Even as someone who does play the games 😄
11

I cant say I am into full on choking, however saying that I like the restriction if that makes sense? I love being in a spoons position with his arm under me, wrapped round with his hand on my shoulder furthest away. His muscles gently sit under my neck which feels incredible. I can see the appeal of choking.

The advice given is amazing. LoveHoney is the most fabulous bunch of non judgemental beauties! Stay safe 😘

12

This is something i too enjoy.
Unusual for me considering I was once a victim of domestic violence and he used to put his hands round my throat. The difference is I trust my husband 100000% and he's so very careful. However this thread has been very enlightening so I'm gonna bookmark it and let him read it later.

13

*bump*

Although this is not something I am into - I do think it is a thread worth keeping current - hope people agree xxxx

14

I'm wondering if D has tried it since with better results.

15

Sum Sub wrote:

I'm wondering if D has tried it since with better results.

Curious to know this too! Choking is not something I partake in, but a friend of mine does and it would be great to know if the above advice helped to avoid problems

16

Sum Sub wrote:

I'm wondering if D has tried it since with better results.

As we're in a LDR I haven't seen him again yet. But we have plans to meet again soon enough.

And as soon as we've tried again I'll update here 😁

I directed him to this thread so he was able to read all the advice 😊