A Doctor Who Story, for anyone wondering about Sonic Screwdrivers:
The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS onto sunny snow, uncertain about where the TARDIS had actually landed.
Carols, twinkly lights, trees with tacky ornaments, roaming reindeer – oh, Santa too - the only conclusion could be Christmas on planet Earth.
Time to warp a time zone far away into the future – last year’s ‘Carol singers will be CRITISIZED’ sign had led to a romantic pickle and feelings were still raw.
But times change. And this time things were different.
The Doctor peered out into the falling snow and saw a queue of people. Men, women, young and old…
They were chanting, ‘Doctor, we need you… let us have it…we want what you have…’
The Doctor stood baffled and went back to the TARDIS console. What was this? A dystopian and alternative future?
The console just fuddled about a bit: ‘I’ve brought you where you need to be’.
The Doctor stepped outside again. ‘What do you want? What can I give you? How can I save you?’
All gazes were pointed in the Doctor’s direction.
Confused, but wanting to understand, the Doctor looked back, trying to read their expressions.
‘What?’ Said the Timelord.
‘Shut up. Stop bleeping. Now is not the time. We have to do a Christmas Special for the BBC’, the Doctor said to the sonic screwdriver in the top left pocket.
‘Not now! I have a planet to save!’
And the voices kept coming… ‘Doctor, we need you… let us have it…we want what you have…’
The Doctor paused… all gazes were on that jacket pocket. It added a ‘buzz’ to the ‘bleep’.
‘Oh… right! I get it! You need saving but not in the way I thought!’
The Doctor ran back into the TARDIS, grabbing every single sonic screw driver previous selves had used.
‘Here you go! All yours!’ And the Doctor threw them all out into the crowds. ‘You can use them however you like! Solve crimes, have intergalactic sex, create universal peace and still have intergalactic sex, break through doors – that could mean lots of things on Earth just now and still involve intergalactic sex…! Enjoy and do something good with it all!’
The Doctor watched the gleeful crowd for a moment, then stepped back in the TARDIS and flew away… for a while.